This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
When You Come Home
When You Come Home immediately intrigued me because it made use of (gasp) a poem at the beginning! I remember the Elements of Life days when I began every one-shot with a poem. I bring this topic to light, not to reminisce about my old fanon, but because "poetic" would be the perfect adjective to describe this one-shot. Let's take a look shall we?
General Critique - The writing is elegant. The word choice is eloquent. This is the first of Sparkstoaflame's works that I've read. I couldn't help but break a small smile when I began reading because I immediately recognized the talent. Quickly, I realized this work was to be treated differently than other one-shots in that the organization and tone are creative and figurative like those of a poem. Just look at this line!
~Nightfall~Over the vast expanse of the Si Wong Desert the setting sun burns dull, painting the sky with smoky, undefined strokes of muted reds and dark oranges while a hot breeze howls down, carrying in the acrid stench of smoke.
That would be the first sentence of the story.
The rest of the one-shot follows a similar structure, designating the time of day, whether it be nightfall, sunrise, sunset etc. As for the content, just like a poem there are many layers of meaning. I had to read it twice to grasp some of the subtle thoughts and intricacies; I still feel like I don't completely understand it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. If I may make a point of suggestion, the author should be careful with the 2nd person point of view, especially switching characters with 2nd person. I had a rough time figuring out if I was Bolin, Korra, or Mako at any given moment. Although it's nice to be creative, it's more important that the story flows and reads easily.
Reflection - There isn't much dialogue, and there is essentially no action. It's more of a continuous train of thoughts and vivid descriptions that spans multiple characters and decades. I won't give away any details, but the subject matter is very dear. The ending is bitter-sweet, eye-opening, and fragile. When You Come Home is the definition of a story written from the heart. The organization and clarity isn't always there, but since when are emotions tangible?
Score 4.7/5 - High quality and craft went into the styling of this one-shot. Definitely check it out!
Sparkstoaflame: Keep up the outstanding work. Keep writing!