- General Critique - The writing is elegant. The word choice is eloquent. This is the first of Sparkstoaflame's works that I've read. I couldn't help but break a small smile when I began reading because I immediately recognized the talent. Quickly, I realized this work was to be treated differently than other one-shots in that the organization and tone are creative and figurative like those of a poem. Just look at this line!
That would be the first sentence of the story.
- ~Nightfall~ Over the vast expanse of the Si Wong Desert the setting sun burns dull, painting the sky with smoky, undefined strokes of muted reds and dark oranges while a hot breeze howls down, carrying in the acrid stench of smoke.
- The rest of the one-shot follows a similar structure, designating the time of day, whether it be nightfall, sunrise, sunset etc. As for the content, just like a poem there are many layers of meaning. I had to read it twice to grasp some of the subtle thoughts and intricacies; I still feel like I don't completely understand it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. If I may make a point of suggestion, the author should be careful with the 2nd person point of view, especially switching characters with 2nd person. I had a rough time figuring out if I was Bolin, Korra, or Mako at any given moment. Although it's nice to be creative, it's more important that the story flows and reads easily.
- Reflection - There isn't much dialogue, and there is essentially no action. It's more of a continuous train of thoughts and vivid descriptions that spans multiple characters and decades. I won't give away any details, but the subject matter is very dear. The ending is bitter-sweet, eye-opening, and fragile. When You Come Home is the definition of a story written from the heart. The organization and clarity isn't always there, but since when are emotions tangible?
- Score 4.7/5 - High quality and craft went into the styling of this one-shot. Definitely check it out!
- Sparkstoaflame: Keep up the outstanding work. Keep writing!