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This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
"The Mayor's Downfall" is the first part of a series of stories that make up The Non-Bender's Plight. It introduces the mayor, Huán Jiàn, as he tries to form a group of slightly shifty individuals to try and combat the bending gangs in the city as an attempt to lessen to city's crime rate. However, he runs the risk of being expelled from his position.
The Mayor's Downfall is a very unique fanon, one that boasts a bevy of interesting ideas. I was consistently put on edge by Ezvil's quick pacing and action-packed story. A lot of thought went into this canon's intricate detail. It reminds me of a cross between Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and The Dark Knight. Alright, let's get into the nitty gritty.
Spelling/Grammar 9.1 - I'm positive that Ezvil understands how to spell words and use correct grammar. His writing style is very developed, and it's not hard to spot the irrefutable talent. That being said, sprinkled throughout the story are some typos and words left out. It's just a matter of proofreading, revising, and editing. Not that big of a deal; it's not like it created an obstacle in the writing. This category usually reflects an author's meticulousness in editing.
General Writing 9.2 - I was impressed. The writing told the story well, and there wasn't anything that made me cringe. The first thing an author must do is master grammar and technical skills. Ezvil has done that. Overall, a very solid, admirable effort.
Style 8.8 - Some authors thrive with descriptions, others dialogue. Some write action, others dominate emotional details. Ezvil has a straightforward style; he makes it easy to follow the story and get a sense of what is going on. Figurative language is toned down, so not much to separate the style, but that's okay. The most important thing is that the story is portrayed to the reader adequately, and in that regard, the author succeeds with flying colors.
Creativity 10.0 - The Mayor's Downfall is above-all-else creative and original. At first when I read the premise, I thought "Hmmm a Mayor of Republic City" how could this possibly make for an interesting story?" - How wrong I was. Mayor Jian is a bad-ass, complex, and mysterious protagonist. The surprising group of surrounding characters only add to the diverse take on the years preceding the Equalist Revolution; furthermore, Ezvil exhibits great awareness of A:TLA and LOK in the way he weaves the finer details of both shows to make his own story fit. Bravo, sir.
Plot/Organization 8.0 - Historically, this is one of the dicier categories I have to analyze. In the case of The Mayor's Downfall, it's not that the plot had holes or confusion - No. This story is air-tight and solid as they come. I suppose my only qualm is in its simplicity. While the story of Jian and his band of anti-triad vigilante fighters is full of backstory and action, there was a pervading sense of what was to come. In a way, I always knew Mayor Jian would be ousted from his office (judging from the title..). I suppose I understood the climax before it truly happened; that fact made me downplay some of the events because although they were compelling, I knew in the back of my mind what would happen. In this way, The Mayor's Downfall reads more like an epic recounting of a tale that already happened and not one that is currently growing and changing in magnitude. I'm not really sure what advice I could give because it's a completed fanon. I suppose if Ezvil made it the first part of a series (maybe he has already) I'd say build off of what he's already established. It's quite good :)
Character Development 7.5 - Mayor Jian is unlike any character I've ever seen. For the entirety of the story, he remains an enigma. It's pretty awesome when you think about it. While this is an cool concept, it hurts the story in a way. As the protagonist, Jian should be the one the readers latch onto and root for. It's hard to understand him because he is so mysterious, even to the characters he, himself, interacts with. It is easy to reconcile with Aang, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, and Toph because there are many facets of them that we find in common. They have successes, failures, struggles, and emotions. Jian is a shadowy main character, a distant figure in the mind of the reader. This is not a problem if there are other characters for the reader to relate to, but the potential candidates are underdeveloped in The Mayor's Downfall. Bane or Byron could fill that void, except they remain relatively static throughout the action. Most of the time, they are just fighters getting in brawls. I think many of the characters aren't elaborated on because the point of the story is the plot and not the characters. The history of the show propels this storyline forward, and the characters are the gears that turn. It is not the story of characters, more of a story of a time period in the Avatarverse.
Interest Level 8.8 - Ezvil is very proficient at keeping the reader's attention. The first introduction to Mayor Jian immediately sucked me in. I felt as if I were actually there when he verbally turned Councilman Tarrlok in knots over a debate. The way the author created action through dialogue proved to me the story was legit right off the back. From then on, I was invested.
Reaction 8.7 - There were a handful of times when I just stopped and thought "This is genius!" The author has an ability to craft a complicated story with political betrayal, cultural problems, and social issues. There's a lot going on, yet it all spirals together towards the same conclusion.
Believability 7.8 - The story as a whole is believable and told very well, but I had a bit of a concern with the minor characters. They served roles mainly as foils and objects of action. It felt a bit forced for Jian to simply contract these criminals. It's a bit hard to explain, but I feel like the author may have wanted to write a story about this band of individuals and decided this was the story to build around it instead of saying "I want to tell this story and make this message, and this is the best way to bring it about." It is just hard to believe that logically this is the best way for the story to unfold. Aesthetically it is certainly more interesting. If investing in aesthetic elements, one should really expand them and make them the draw of the story. I suppose this story falls in between, and in that way it seems a bit implausible at certain points.
Total Score = 8.66
4. My Thoughts
I can just feel the potential of this writer every time I read a chapter. Ezvil does things I've never seen before. He's amazingly creative. With a bit of experience and refinement, I predict a star author on the rise.
5. What stands out?
The creativity is this story's diamond opus. That, and the passion. I can tell Ezvil truly loves writing because it allows expression of his imagination. That's why we're all here, eh? That's why we all write what we write and do what we do. The words are all true and ladened with effort because there's someone real behind them, someone adamant about expressing them.
6. Advice for Ezvil
You're going to go far if you keep at it. Just proofread for typos and errors to clean that up. You may want to read other fanons to integrate ideas of different authors into your own story. Versatile authors are the best because they can write stories that operate on multiple levels. Write what you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. TyNirvana 16:55, March 1, 2014 (UTC)
7. Who should read this?
I really don't understand why this is a section anymore. If you liked my review, then you definitely want to check out this fanon; it deserves a lot more recognition than it currently has. If you're just looking for something entertaining to read, check out this fanon, it's worth it.