This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
"Toph Beifong, esteemed Chief of Police, has been framed for murder, but the true murderer framed her well, even getting her arrested. Only one problem: the metalbending Police Chief can and has escaped any trap, but in this case, she had to kill six people to do it, and another seven just to see her best friend Sokka. Now, the prosecution has her charged with fourteen counts of first degree murder, and if anybody catches her, she'll be hanged for sure. She won't let that happen. She has to run, but first, she has to find and talk to her best friend first. And along the way, she'll make some decisions, some crucial decisions. And maybe, just maybe, she can drag her best friend along with her..."
In Jump, we follow Sokka as he tries to make sense of all the chaos around him. As Sokka delves deeper and deeper into the murderous mystery, we begin realizing dark truths about the Councilman. An unknown enemy lurks in the background, but Sokka's greatest enemy may be himself.
Spelling/Grammar 10 - The author displays an impressive mastery of technical writing skills. I spotted virtually no mistakes in comma usage, subject verb agreement, dangling modifiers, or tense shifts.
General Writing 9.6 - Azula 3.0 writes with pin-point descriptions and pays close attention to detail. He makes use of long, flowing sentences, connected by commas and contractions. I remember reading a paragraph and hesitating. When I re-read it, I discovered it was actually one brobdignagian sentence! He's one of the most experienced writers on the fanon portal, and he really shows it.
Style 9.4 - In the beginning, it took some time to get used to the present tense and first person point of view. The style actually compliments the story elegantly, as we witness the narrator's descent into madness from his own innocent point of view. One word to describe the style: "Unique." The writing style carries a heavy dose of suspense and mystery, and it creates a hazy atmosphere, masking what is real and what is illusion.
Creativity 9.2 - Jump is a completely original idea that draws from deep human emotion. Annnnddd that's all I got! Onward, toward formidable paragraphs!
Plot/Organization 8.5 - Highly organized. AzulaX3 has a clear view of where he is going and what he wants to say. Many times, I've seen fanon writers get so excited about their story that they rush into the plot and try to write an epic adventure in one night. The author takes ample time to flesh out each detail and thought. Much of the plot takes place inside the mind of the protagonist, and the author does a brilliant job of following the thought process. In the beginning, the reader is introduced to a concrete setting with definite characters. Minor deduction here because the author tells us background information through the use of flashback and memories, which is absolutely fine. But, in my opinion, the testimony isn't enough to carry the entire plot.
Character Development 7.8 - Sokka, the main character, experiences intense inner turmoil and change from the beginning to the later chapters. Then why the lower score? While the character surely develops, he doesn't develop realistically. Sokka is the plan guy, the sarcasm guy, the boomerang guy, and the pony-tail guy! Based on the show and comics, he's a humorous and driven individual. I have no problem with maturity causing him to change. Romantic problems and adulthood surely put weight on an individual. But, if this individual is Sokka, a character I've come to love and admire, it's going to take a lot of convincing for me to believe it. I felt the same way about Toph who seemed out of character. Would the self proclaimed "Greatest Earthbender in the World" give up? In the back of my mind, I asked myself if Sokka or Toph would really act this way or say something like this. The main problem lies in the familiarity of the two characters. They are such concrete characters already, and they need more development prior to the main action to convince me that their thoughts and actions are realistic.
Interest Level 8.8 - As the story spirals deeper and deeper into beautiful madness, I became more and more enthralled.
Reaction 8.6 - I swear, Azulazulazula took my soul and horcruxed it more than once while I read Jump. If you don't know what a horcruxe is, then I offer another translation: a part of me died inside. The story is depressing in an amazing way. It's tragic and I love it.
Believability 7.6 - I hate to ramble on one problem, but the portrayal of Sokka deducts points from the believability. More than once, I thought to myself, "Sokka wouldn't do this," or "Sokka wouldn't think this way." The story itself is quite believable, since the author is a skilled story-teller. I'd much rather talk about the million other things that Azulazulazula did right.
Total Score = 8.83
4. My Thoughts
I was captivated by the way the author portrayed human thought process. It's like he's some kind of psychic who knows the ins and outs of the mind. I sat in awe of the logic behind each decision and thought. THAT was awesome!
Jump is depressing and touching, and it made my heart throb. One can only watch as the hero spirals deeper and deeper into insanity, innocent to the truth. This element reminded me of my all time favorite book, "Of Mice and Men." Whenever you do anything to remind me of a book by Steinbeck, you are doing something impressive. I felt a cold, numbness in my fingers and an occasional shiver down my spine. Great writing creates a reaction; Jump succeeds.
I don't care if it's a poem, a novel, or Avatar fanfiction. In any outlet of writing, the author tries to tell a story. If you listen closely, you can hear the voice. I heard very deep beliefs about life and the world, as I read Jump. It's not just a story, it's real. The lessons from Jump are visible in everyday life, in the "real world." People struggle to cope with problems and depression. Reading this story has opened my eyes to how very lucky I am to have family and friends around me. I never thought twice about what it's like to be lonely, but now I'll never be able to forget.
5. What stands out?
The greatest strength of Jump is the overall quality. I can't even pinpoint a particular strength, so I'll just list a few of the many: depth, complexity, inner thoughts, attention to detail, and pure awesomeness. Like I said above, the message is, perhaps, the single greatest attribute, but there's so much more to love about this fanon.
6. Advice for Azulazulazula
You are an incredible writer. I know you can portray characters, so I'm not going to go into the whole Sokka and Toph characterization; I know you will learn and adapt. Don't stop writing....Ever. You have so much talent, and in your words you have the power to change people.
7. Who should read this?
If you are looking for a light-hearted lovey dovey story about rainbows and sunshine unicorns, look elsewhere. If you are a fan of complex story-telling and a deep, mysterious plot, then put Jump on your reading list ASAP. If you are looking for something to read, anything at all, please read this fanon. It's one of a kind.