- Creativity 9.4 - The concepts in Crossfire are derived from other types of action adventures. Inspiration from Assassin's Creed, The Bourne Trilogy, and other undercover types of stories is evident, at least in my opinion. That doesn't make Omashu Rock's work any less creative. The way he weaves all these elements into the Avatar World into a compelling story is truly astounding.
- Plot/Organization 8.5 - Knowing Omashu Rocks, I know he (most likely) has the story planned out, but, from what I've read so far, it's hard to gauge where this story is going. The plot events don't add up quite yet. There are different concepts such as the Shepherds and Wolves revolving around Nalia's undercover operations. The latest chapter is an interesting reveal that gives the reader a scope of the magnitude of the conflict. With all that being said, I still think the plot organization is lacking slightly. I get it, not all stories make sense right off the bat; settings, characters, and themes need to be laid down. I just think the story is straying away from its roots a bit. The major conflict, above all else, is that Nalia must save her sister, Ming. The conflict is very Hunger Games-esque in that Nalia is the elder sister (Katniss) who has to literally murder and survive to save her timid, younger sister Ming (Prim). As the events unfold, I think Nalia begins to lose sight of her goals, internally. Her personality is blunt, bad-ass, and headstrong, but in the case of the plot, it gets in the way of her "want." It's not that there isn't enough reflection and pointing back to the reason she kills. There is, however, a disparity between her inner thoughts and her motives. At times her thoughts can be too blatant and unrealistic. It comes across as if she isn't taking her own motives seriously. Making sassy jokes, unintentionally, takes the edge off the conflict. Because of this, the reader is left in a state of floating, in that he or she reads the action-packed plot events, but takes a step back and wonders "Why is Nalia doing this again?" In the case of Avatar, the episodes literally reference the reason of the conflict in the opening theme of every single episode. One way to fix this problem is to write some chapters about Ming and prison. That would cause the reader to feel both sympathy and passion for Nalia's cause, and at the same time, it creates a sense of urgency.
- Character Development 8.8 - I'll say it now, and I'll say it again: Nalia is one of the best original characters I've ever read in fanon. Seriously, her dialogue and inner thoughts are just incredible. She says the funniest things, and just the way she thinks about the world makes you root for her. On the other hand, she is really the only character in this fanon. She's the dynamic character, and everyone around her is static. That's fine, but so far, Nalia hasn't changed all too much. It's just too early for me to see real development. I have no fear that Omashu Rocks has plenty of character development planned and ready to go, but for now she is just as reckless as she was in the beginning. Her attitude towards people, killing, and the world is just as bitter as ever. She hasn't really matured from her experiences yet, although I can definitely see (I hope) where the story is going. The author has set up a really gripping struggle between what Nalia wants to accomplish and what is morally correct. I can't wait to see how it turns out!