Hey there! This is TAD, The Avatar Demotivator, reviewing Lightningthief9.by
Though not a Fanon Review Squad review, it is accurate. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive; there is plenty of advice!
Darksome Knights is a unique fanon filled with references to Avatar, Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Pokemon, and Percy Jackson and combines the seven worlds uniquely. As the Five Pillars despair at the destruction of their world, the other six universes continue normally - for a time. Then, as if from nowhere, a dimensional quake ripples through the previously separate worlds, and they converge, collapsing into one with deadly repercussions. Come along with Obi-Wan, Ash Ketchum, Team Avatar, Percy Jackson, Harry, and more famous protagonists as they attempt to make sense of the anarchy.
Initially, I had high hopes for this story, considering that I am a great fan of all of the series contained within, and I relished the idea of my favorite characters together. I have read enjoyable crossovers before,and number several of them amongst my favorite fanons. Unfortunately, the choppy, chaotic writing and intensely short chapters turned me off after a time, as did the apparent lack of character development and description. Though at times the writing was beautiful and left me impressed, the majority of the fanon seemed to have been tossed out in a hurry with no thought for details.
- Story - 5: The one of a kind crossover idea is one of the things that attracts the reader to the fanon in the first place, and it has marvelous possibilities, but the story fell flat and shallow, with the characters simply going through the motions, and they appeared to be more vehicles for the plot rather than driving the story. Because the chapters were short, suspense did not have time to build, nor did momentum, while the perplexing nature of the fanon had a tendency to kill long-term suspense and sense of mystery and wonder about the plot. The work was often confusing, as in some chapters, particularly the ones introducing the various worlds or having only one protagonist, no character names were mentioned, and it would have been more beneficial to state the appropriate "world" beforehand. Finally, the pacing felt far too rapid and rushed.
- Action - 4: Although the descriptions of the tremors and the fighting were well-done, the frequently sparse action often was confusing, difficult to follow, and didn't pull the reader into it nearly enough as it could have. The fanon would benefit from extended action scenes, as it appears to advertise itself as such an action/adventure fanon, as well as upping the ante. Several scenes, such as Zuko saving Katara from the earthquake, were heart-pounding but ended before the reader could feel the adrenaline begin to race through his veins.
- Writing - 6: As mentioned previously, at times the writing was gorgeous, "beautiful enough to steal", as one recognized fanon writer quipped; the descriptions were luscious and left the reader wanting more than rarely came. One that springs to mind was a description of the Fire Lord drinking tea. The powerful words remain in one's mind long after coming away. At the same time, this lovely to-die-for writing appeared in places few and far-between but was still one of the major selling points of the work, and it felt similar to picking out the diamonds in the rough, while the lack of scenery caused the reader to imagine the characters to be floating in an empty void. If the frequency of these delectable snippets were to increase and cover the background as well, then so would the score for this category.
- Believability - 5: Technically speaking, everything in the fanon was plausible, but it would be better described as specious. The readiness with which the characters "accepted" the dimensional quake without question raised a few in the mind of the reader. In a fanon, anything could be possible, yet the reactions didn't feel very realistic. On the other hand, the personalities of some characters were spot-on, and the emotion in some scenes was palatable. Sadly, this didn't extend itself to the rest of the work.
- Character Development - 2: Unfortunately, few of the characters seemed to learn anything from the story. Perhaps because the cast was so large and diverse - and there were many sides of the story that needed to be told - most characters were flat and one-dimensional, as if the author was banking on the reader simply fabricating the personalities from, naturally, what they know of the characters. Occasionally, the original personalities surfaced, especially in different characters such as Sokka, who felt very in-character, but in general they seemed to be more cardboard cutouts than full persons.
Average Score: 4.4
Note: All scores are out of ten
Advice for the author: This fanon has great potential, as does the author. He is clearly a master of the language and of writing, but depressingly he chooses not to use it as frequently as he could. It would be beneficial for the cast of characters to be curtailed to allow for character development, while the chapters should be lengthened not in plot content but in scenes: Some filler is necessary and is usually one of the areas wherein the majority of noticeable character development takes place, while the very promising action sequences deserve to be expanded to be long enough for the reader to settle into the pace and, as stated before, enjoy the sudden increased heartbeat. An infusion of description and scenery, in addition to more name-dropping in one-protagonist scenes and less name-dropping in multi-character sequences, will add another layer and increase the quality of the fanon substantially. In general, a chapter length of several thousand words is recommended when thinking of the nature of the work. Overall, this budding fanon and its wonderful author can bloom into something awe-inspiring, but it does need that final push.
What kind of users should read this fanon? Anyone who is a fan of both crossovers and of most of the involved series, especially Kingdom Hearts and Avatar, should try it, as should those who do not mind a few quality issues but love a unique plot and bursts of masterful writing.