Chapter 5: The King of Omashu
A review (and some demotivation) of Book 1: Water, Chapter 5: The King of Omashu.
Previously in Avatar: Gurr power. Godzilla. Aang moaning. Moving right along!
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So, I’ve noticed something pretty darn funny.
Why. In. The. Name. Of. All. That. Is. Holy. Does. Aang. Freaking. Say. That. Every. Single. Time?!
Every time you go to a new location, prepare to here this: “I always visited my friend ____ here. We’d get in and out of so much trouble! Because, you know, I had nothing better to do than run around the world pulling pranks and mischief! And by the way, I’m also a girl, and my glider is the size of my palm!”
[gnashes teeth]
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So the kids arrive at Omashu, and Aang, of course, has to hide his trademark arrows, because twelve-year-olds don’t normally have tattoos unless they’re the ones jumping the pharmacist. And they leave Appa outside. In the cold. To die a slow, lonely death.
Monkeyfeathers: Good thing there aren’t any Beetle-Headed Merchants around, right?
By the way, as of Legend of Korra, Aang is dead to make room for the new Avatar, and so far some of my friends have been pretty upset, but I’m not. Change is good. What are your thoughts?
Now back to your scheduled program.
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In a flashback, the younger Bumi, sporting the only red hair in the entire series, snorts, “You have to open your brain to the possibilities.” This can either be taken to mean, ROLLER COASTER!!!111!!!!!11!!1!1 or BUMI IS A PERVERT!!!1!!!!!111!!11!1!!1 Either way, you have a lot of !’s and 1’s, and part of the fanbase is happy, and the other part is still complaining that this episode is filler.
And by the way, FedEx? Thanks for delivering those DVDs three weeks later than the quote-on-quote delivery date. That means I had to make my account three weeks later. That’s three weeks of blogs this Wikia missed! [growls] !lynch FedExs
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No comment needed. This is abso-freaking-lutely true. Period. End. Dot. Fin. Yes.
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Since Aang doesn’t believe in dull moments, he takes them on Goliath—I mean the super slide. Please watch the video of this, turning the sound off, and play a Six Flags commercial in the background.
You know what? If Six Flags made a commercial like this, I would go there every single day. I can imagine it now. Aang’s Super Slide. You’ll make millions.
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As a result of a run-in with a merchant of cabbage, Aang and company are brought to the King of Omashu, because the trained guards couldn’t have just taken them to juvie. But wait, that’s right! How could the plot have continued if anything made sense!
You know, there’s this little line between “genius” and “get the tranqs!” Bumi here takes that line and uses it to fish in a pond full of mercury and lead. Then he takes the line to the Newly Refurbished Chamber That Was Once Bad.
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Turns out Aang is vegetarian. I love meat. I’m a meat and sarcasm girl, but after watching this episode, I switched to being vegetarian.
[stares at chicken leg on plate]
Right. I need to work on that.
Bumi “cleverly” realizes Aang is, in fact, the Avatar, and not some random kid with gang tats. Or shall I say Gaang tats? [wink wink] Instead of, I don’t know, letting them go or something, he imprisons them. In what looks like a hotel room.
In the meantime, Appa is busily discovering the cure for cancer.
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I made these DPs a couple weeks back (I do things in advance), and the timing is oddly appropriate. For all of you who didn’t know, yesterday was the Day of Silence, a day honoring homosexuals. Note: I’m not saying Bumi is gay; please, I’m not a Rowling. Neither am I, before you inevitably assume so. But I’d like to give a moment in homage to the Day of Silence.
. . .
. . .
. . .
But please, no more “I Kissed a Girl” videos of Azula and some obscure female character. [shudders]
And now back to the show.
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Aang is upset because King Lettuce Leaf just took away his girlfriend. Oh yeah, and Katara and Sokka too. And now Aang must complete three deadly challenges at the Tribender Tournament.
Challenge #1: Retrieve the egg key from the dragon waterfall.
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Challenge #2: Retrieve your love interest Bumi’s pet from the Merpeople giant King Kong monster.
But there’s a twist! Everyone else will be okay even if you don’t save them King Kong is the pet.
And then I was like, “Whoa.”
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Why, hello again, Monkeyfeathers.
“This episode was not filler, you retarded fans! This was vital. First, it introduced Bumi, who would later reappear in 2.03 and 3.18. And in the end, Aang did fight like a mad genius to confront—”
No Monkeyfeathers! Don’t give it away!
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Challenge #3: Travel through the maze arena and fight the other wizards bender. Gee. Why does this sound familiar?
No wonder Aang is terrified. He’s probably thinking, Rape! But no, Aang, it’s okay. Bumi’s a nice guy. He just wants to beat you to smithereens.
Yes, Bumi has abs. Bumi is the only hundred-twelve-year-old I know with a six-pack.
Other than Kyoshi, of course.
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Aang finally manages to beat Bumi by giving him a cold. And then there’s a fourth deadly challenge. Confront Voldemort figure out Bumi’s real name. Hm.
Come on, Aang. Think of the challenges. Key . . . pet . . . fight . . . I know! Your name must be Keypetfight! See? It even rhymes with “right!”
No?
No.
Hey, why don’t we look at the blatant flashback of a kid with abnormally sized eyes and a snorting laugh. No, it can’t be the same person. That would be too obvious.
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Yes.
Obviousness wins out.
Again.
Here’s the first name we hear anything about the Fire Lord. No wonder Aang doesn’t say anything. He just thinks he’s going on an awesome college North Pole Roadtrip—yes, Hollywood, feel free to use that—with his girlfriend, guy friend, van Appa, and random pet.
Can you say sit-com?
We can say sit-com!
Now, for your pleasure, please imagine Bumi, in a ballerina outfit, singing Hakuna Matata.
“It means no worries for the rest of your daaaaaaays . . .”
Right. We’ll get back to you on that.
This episode is a 2. I love this episode, but when I first saw it, I assumed it was filler, and it certainly seems that way. The somewhat “random” nature of the episode—with the three challenges—although brings it down. However, it was hilariously funny, netting me fourteen DPs—a record—and it’s one of my favorites. So, combining both my thoughts and fan consensus, it’s a two.
What are your thoughts on the episode? No flaming!
See you next time!
~The Avatar Demotivator
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