Greetings, mein Avatar Wiki volk.
I have noticed lately something rather un-nerving in editing trends. Now, we all love to do our part to make all the articles on this Wiki readable, and we like to make our edits constructive. That is certainly not the issue I am seeing in editing habits as of late.
What I have been seeing that I find odd is the /quantity/ of edits. I understand what editors are trying to do...but I notice that users are making five, seven, ten, sometimes even more, edits to one page in a short period of time. I don't feel like this is needed and has hints of badge editing. Although this is not as significant in the time since I proposed this column to 888th, I would like to implore this to the community as a whole:
Only 1 - 2, maybe three edits, are really needed to do work on a whole page. If you are totally overhauling a massive page, perhaps more edits are needed, yes. But one edit for pages is good, maybe a second to make any fixes. Three really should be the maximum. There is just no need to have 7 - 10+ edits for small to moderate pages.
Keep in mind to use preview mode. This will help ensure that your changes are in place and are accurate with regards to spelling, grammar, coding, etc.
I hope you will all take this to heart with your editing habits. Yes, trying to overhaul a whole page in one edit could be time-consuming and tedious, but at the end of the day, it will make us look more like an efficient wiki with an emphasis on quality over quantity.
Editor's note: Watching this episode through while reading this column is recommended.
Chapter 2: The Cave of Two Lovers
A commentary and review (and some demotivation) of Book 2: Earth, Chapter 1: The Avatar State.
Previously on Avatar: Aang goes berserker mode. Zuko ships with some random girl who never appeared again—not that it stopped the shippers. No one cares about the death/destruction. Yay!
And now it’s time to demote the . . . third most Kataangy Kataang episode of all time, and fortunately—or lack thereof—we’ve got Monkeyfeathers here, due to popular demand. Hm . . . I’m probably going to have to take a vote about him. I don’t know if everyone likes him.
“You can’t get rid of me. I’m like . . . part of you . . . muahaha! Muahahahahah!”
No, that’d be Li’l Voice. Get out of here.
“Are you replacing me?”
I would never . . . unless the community decided so, of course.
So I’d like you to, if you haven’t already done so, take a look at the above poster—specifically, at Katara’s expression. That totally looks like the way a
prostitute mother would look at her child. I’m serious about the strikeout there, Monkeyfeathers. Stop staring at me like that.
No, her expression is like Nala’s during the infamous shot in Can You Feel the Love Tonight? from The Lion King. All of you Lion Kings fans will surely know about what I speak, and if not, well, I can’t say it here lest I be banned from the Wiki. ;3
“But I can say it, neh? Katara wants Aang in—”
Okay that’s enough! On to the next, demote, which is hopefully clean—
If you don’t know what hentai is . . . all animé is hentai.
Look at the shape of that tentacle for a second. Just look at that thing.
And you, Monkeyfeathers, don’t even approach me.
Now, since my mind is so far down the gutter at this point that the only thing stopping me from writing a trashy fanfic is that I write fanon, not fanfiction—and also the fact that I would never reduce myself to wasting time on something like that . . . I don’t have no objections—I just want to point out something awesome.
Please open your eyes [hands reader a pair of toothpicks] and glance at the water distortion. Now that, right there, is talent.
As far as I’m aware, it wasn’t done by computer. That distortion is drawn, y’all, and you know it’s serious when I use a word that isn’t in the English slaanguage—or any other.
“Really, Shoe? Really?”
Hey, I can faangirl however I want! Get out of here! Get! Shoo!
“. . . okay . . . huh . . .”
Yeah, that’s what I thought. [raises arms] Come at me bro.
“I’m fine, Shoe.”
Don’t start that up again.
“So these guys right here are the chocolate chip pistachio hippies of Avatar. No, not the vanilla-strawberry’d heavily tattooed Dalai minting Lama but the mangoing Don’t Fall in Love with the Traveling mrakking Girl up there. Have you cookies and cream seen them? I’m surprised they weren’t chocolate protesting the rocky road War like a bunch of ba—”
. . . I’d like to buy the world some tea in perfect harmony?
You know it’s going to be a long episode when you hear:
“We’re just people-people.”
“Aren’t we all?”
If you happen to read Cracked.com, allow to say four words: Men in Black Swan.
If you don’t . . . congratulations! You’re still sane, unlike me!
Of what material are Sokka and Katara’s undergarments/swimwear made? Don’t think it looks like fur or something, as I thought fur and sea prunes were all they had down there. And fish. But that doesn’t exactly look like fish either.
So . . . what gives? The monkeyfeathers are those?
And why was Sokka floating on the leaf at the beginning of the episode—almost forgot to mention—because come on. Please tell me what kind of tree grows giant leaves that float and can take the weight of a fifteen-year-old male. Go ahead, Show me.
[sits next to a black hole]
[travels to the future a couple million years]
[sees no answers at all]
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
So Sokka drowned on his nonexistent leaf, and the rest of the nomads died in the titular Cave of Two Lovers! We so cool, we so cool.
And then the nomads were never able to make it to their recording session, and the world wasn’t killed by their recording of We are the World.
And by the way, deceased Sokka, if you’re so fixated on getting to Omashu as swiftly as possible, why are you lounging around on a nonexistent leaf?!
See, there’s this point in time when you have to say to yourself: “Should I make some delicious tea that could kill me or go to a nearby Earth Kingdom store and just buy some? Hmmm . . .” and then you go ahead and make the delicious tea. In the meantime, your nephew has set out to fish on a giant spear and managed to catch what seems to be Nemo. Speaking of which, in 314, Zuko “sets out on a fishing trip”; good thing Iroh wasn’t there to tell the rest of Team Avatar just how successful said trips tend to be. Back to 202. So, Iroh—[tosses a purse]—here, go buy yourself something nice. And by the way, what kind of tea aficionado can recognize the White Jade yet not remember: White on pink, safe to drink. Pink on white, dead by night. Iroh, you’re so smart sometimes. That’s like not knowing the difference between Black-Capped Chickadee and a Carolina—never mind.
Meanwhile, back to the nomads.
The hippies are showing Aang and the gaang everything about hippie life: Wandering around so that one can continue stealing without being caught; being able to sing and play instruments all day because the drugs they bought were nice and hallucinogenic (Spirits, that’s a giant Momo! Woah, that meteor just decimated everything! Hey . . . is that Zuko? Nice view!); and, oh yeah, taking drugs.
This was when Sokka the Ghost came in and told everyone to get packing, because everyone is mooving out like some docile, drugged cows.
^ Worst pun in the history of TAD puns.
Monkeyfeathers originally had a stop here, but it was so offensive that I had to pull the plug. Sorry, all you gun-toters out there. Please don’t murder.
Smash cut to: Appa in the middle of all this fire and Australia—yes, that’s a reference to something else hot that’s down under, but I’ll leave that to you to decide as to what that may be—but I’ve a question. Why can’t tey just fly around the giant Fire Nation army? I mean, if Appa can fly over the ocean for hours, why can’t they just make a detour instead of being so math-minded they have to go in a daang straight line?
“But Shoe, then we wouldn’t have a kiwi pineappleing Kataang episode!”
Good point. I’ll take the Kataang episode.
“. . . fudge you.”
Allow me to give you a small hint: If you decision is between death and a person, and you chose death . . . are you acquaintance with my sister?
So, Master Arrowhead—
[falls off chair]
[rolls around on floor]
Okay, okay, I’m good.
So, Master Arrowhead—
[slams head into back of chair]
So, Master Arrowhead—
[Error: This joke has been removed by the Committee for an Appropriate Wiki.]
So . . . Master Arrowhead realizes that all he needs is love. Quick, someone put on a romantic comedy soundtrack. It’s time for some Zutarians to d-d-die!
This episode is rather a one-two punch for Zutara: It has both hardcore Kataang and Zong. Sorry, Zutarians.
Anyway, some Fire Nation evil-people [or something] arrive, and clearly these are the same people one of whose cousin died of “pentapox” that know the daang song.
Oh come on.
And they put these guys in charge of tanks? Why, so they could make length jokes? What is this? The USSR as it fled Afghanistan?
What is this I don’t even . . .
[Quick note: When I was five, I thought Woodstock was a big birthday celebration for the little yellow bird that tagged around with Snoopy.
. . . wait, it isn’t?]
Back to Avatar!
Naturally, there’ a cave in caused by the above geniuses, each of them with IQs in the thousands and no failing grades whatsoever [of course, this may have been caused by IQ tests out of a hundred thousand points and an ‘ABCDEJ’ grading system], and now they have to get out.
The rational guy, the couple, the hippies . . .
Right, M. Night, please don’t turn this into a full-length romantic comedy. As much as we’d like a romantic comedy on Kataang—
“Pwsah! As if!”
--shut up Monkeyfeathers as much as we’d like a romantic comedy on Kataang, we don’t want it form you.
Meanwhile, in a totally creepy and possibly illegal scene, a bloated Iroh tries to make moves on Song, who is clearly disinterested.
And Zuko, I’d like to speak to you.
Zuko: “Uh . . . sure. What’s wrong?”
Me: “Did you just think that no one would notice the giant scar covering half of your face?”
Zuko: “Er, well . . . actually . . .”
Me: “Er, well . . . yeah, okay. Does no one know who you are?”
Zuko: “They don’t exactly hang pictures of me everywhere.”
Me: “I think it would spread pretty far that a guy with a giant scar covering half his face is the prince. Remember how you totally blew your cover in 207? Right. Well—why didn’t the news reach Ba Sing Se in all of your wayward travels that took at least a month, not even counting the time spent in 209?”
Zuko: “. . . why are you stalking me?”
Me: “Hey, I’m not a Zuko fangirl. I’m not stalking you.”
Zuko: “I know how to deal with this . . .” [claps hands]
[Aang pops out]
| Click "show" to continue reading!
I’ll see you in a week.
Wheh heh heh.
In the meantime, Appa stages another cave in—
Wait a second.
Okay, next time you’re in a cave, please do me a quick favor and attempt to very seriously injure yourself by smashing all of the falls. Let me know if the cave falls in and kills you.
And please raise your hands if you’re not here.
So, of course, Aang quickly tackles Katara into the ground to get away from falling rocks, and Katara is more than a little okay with it, obviously.
Ha, ha, try that in 317, Zuko.
Zuko: “Will do.”
Me: “. . . he’s going to fail.”
“Yeah, that’s true. If Appa hadn’t been stuck with them too, they would have rocked the cave all on their own and caused a whole ‘nother vanillaing cave-in, and [Ed.: The rest of this comment has been deleted because I don’t think anyone wants to hear about Aang abusing Katara. O_o” Yeah.]
Song, like any good shipping fodder, invites Zuko into her house. After some pretty revealing dialogue full of dramatic irony—so ironic Toph can Metalbend it—and Iroh hitting on Song’s mum, Zuko leaves. See, because emo vampires don’t need food.
They need blood.
Meanwhile, Song comes out and sits on the porch. Cue the romantic music and some awkward dialogue. Then—bam—she shows him her scars and tries to touch his.
I don’t even want to get into the gutter-minded implications of that that Monkeyfeathers told me about. Instead, let me show you the shipping formula!
Character X with Z + Character Y with Z = shipping
Examples: Zuko and Song both got burned. Azula and Ty Lee are both female. Aang and Katara both lost people as young kids. Katara and Zuko both lost their mothers.
Character X was hurt by Character Y + forgiveness = shipping
Examples: Zuko later came back to talk to Song about her ostrich horse, and he was forgiven [commonly in fanon]. Azula in the mental hospital, Ty Lee forgiving her [fanon]. Aang and Katara in The Serpent’s Pass. Katara and Zuko in The Southern Raiders.
Meanwhile, Indiana Aang, Katara and Appa find the
Lost Ark tomb of the two lovers!
That’s a nice location for a first date.
“So there are these dead people here . . . let’s have some awkward romantic comedy dialogue and kiss!”
“. . . I’m okay Aang.”
“Wait, you’re right! I have to set the mood with music . . . first.” [waggles eyebrows] “Ow! What was that for?”
I mean, what were the creators thinking? Couldn’t Aang and Katara at least have left the bloody crypt room before starting to talk about kissing [or lack thereof]. What is this, vampiric peeping toms? I mean . . . gosh. Quick call-in and therefore totally poll: Would you kiss in a tomb?
And don’t bring up Romeo and Julie. Those two were insane.
Right, right, I’m 100% sure that the lovely Aang has no idea what Katara is talking about.
Er, about what Katara is talking.
I’d think he’d be the first person to jump up and suggest they kiss, instead of acting oblivious, considering that he’s such a [censored; enjoy this eyebrow waggle instead].
Unless, of course, he didn’t want to be seen kissing in a tomb crawling with spirits.
Someone should make like a necromancer and bring back Ghostbusters III from the grave just so that Aang and Katara can have some fun time in this tomb.
[That logic chain was for intelligent people to follow, not idiots. Sorry, idiots.]
And as for what I mean by fun, please, feel free to examine FF.Net and dA. I’m sure you’ll find exactly what I mean. Just be prepared to hit ‘Display Images Anyway’ numerous times.
Yes, our mice and perversions are bared!
Hey, Aang, if Katara doesn’t want you . . . [pats chair next to computer]
And Avatar, you so smooth you ice.
This poster can be taken to mean two different things.
The first one, the intended purpose, is wholly innocent.
“Oh yeah, but the second reason is totally not[,], hahahahahahahahaha. You coconuts just got to put on your ice creamier hats and think like a [no idea how to censor this]. What could I have possibly mean?”
I have no earthly idea, Monkeyfeathers. What did you mean?
“Oh you’re so innocent.”
. . . okay, unless I’m already taking the poster in the perverse way—I don’t understand.
“Getting out of what is the question.”
. . .
Pick your side. Someone’s got to be right.
Let me give you a little hint: Zuko ships with Mai.
Let me give you another hint: We’re introduced to her in the next episode.
Let me give you a third hint: Zuko doesn’t ship with Song.
But that’s, you know, just a tiny hint.
Aang and Katara kiss. Yes it’s ambiguous, but there’s been a whole lot of evidence and it seem to be pretty obvious as to what happened.
Oh my gosh, Kataang.
Faangirl level rising . . .
[pushes back chair]
[clambers onto bed]
[starts dancing like no one’s watching]
[flops onto floor and somehow lands like a cat]
You know what? I need to buy a new bed. Daangit Aang, can you please stop being such faangirl material for three seconds so I can—
[sees picture of Aang]
Huh? What? What was I talking about again? Where?
Let me dredge back something I said in, oh, the first season of demoting.
Okay, right, so—last episode, we’ve got the Aang-would-kill-for-Katara-thing. This episode, we’ve got Katara and Aang snogging. Next episode? So many references to Kataang kids I can’t even count them. And then?
“Well now it’s time to give the Kataangers something to worry about,” decided one of the creators after a few bottles of wine. “After all, it’s time we gods did something about . . . something. Or other.”
“Right, right,” drawled the other. “Shall we have Zuko be shirtless another episode?”
The first creator threw a bottle of wine at the wall. “No, my wife likes him better than she likes me. I don’t want to get any marital strife, you know?”
“So what do you want to do?”
“Let’s introduce a new love interest for Aang.”
The second creator nodded drunkenly. “Sounds good, sounds good. We were slated to have Katara be in that swamp episode, but let’s change it to a twelve-year-old girl, shall we? Writers!”
Flicking a button on the dash, the creators watched as a trapdoor on the floor rose up to reveal a chained, emancipated skeleton. “Yesss massstersss?” hissed the head writer.
“Write in some twelve-year-old love interest for Aang.”
“Maybe that Earthbending girl I wasss ssspeaking about lassst week?”
The second creator attempted to juggle another bottle of liquor, but it splashed onto the floor. The head writer threw himself towards it and began to lap it up. “That’ll work.”
A drunken stupor of eight or nine months later . . .
Okay, so, let me give you a hint, rabid Taang shippers: The above conversation. Never. Happened.
Following Sokka and the nomads’ acid test concert—oh yeah, I went there—they get out, only for Chong to realize that yes, Aang is the Avatar,
So, in Pokémon, there’s thing called Character of the Day, which is pretty self-explanatory. Avatar tries to avoid these—it had a lot more in the first book that later did in fact come back, some due to popularity [cough Suki cough]—but the nomad are a prime example. So are . . . Fong . . . the rest of Mai’s family . . . etc.
And Zutarians? I’m sorry, but book two does not seem to be shaping up for you.
Just wait until 204. Then you’ll be able to parade your so-called “Taang proof”.
While Sokka learned absolutely nothing from the trip, except that he’s a hypocrite and a ghost—watch out Pac-Man—Aang and Katara learned something about baiting the fans.
Namely, that it’s fun.
Overall, this episode is a . . . 4. You know, I really do, honest-to-goodness, need to revamp my list. Someone remind me. Eventually. =P
Now, as I was saying, I—is that the design of Aang from The Promise, Part 1?
[zooms away in a cloud of dust]
See you next time!
The Avatar Demotivator
1. How has your experience on the Wiki been?
A: That's an easy one: it has been great! Avatar Wiki is the first wiki I've ever been on and I don't regret it for a second. Even as a newby, I immediately felt at home thanks to the friendly people here and once I discovered IRC and got to know some people better and they got to know me, that experience only become better and better.
2. We all know you are a good contributor in the wiki and one of the most active users. What makes you work and edit in the wiki as much as you do?
A: I have been discovered as an Avatar Wiki addict! Now I must flee to the Avatar Wiki Anonymous. Sexily! But what makes me work here? Combination of factors really. My main drive has always been my love for the show. It is an amazing series that deserves to have an amazing wiki like this one and I am proud that I can help this wiki become even more great. At first, that drive was also fuelled by a great deal of boredom, but that soon changed as I got to know people here and now I just come on because I genuinely like it here. I like editing and improving something I love and I like the fact that by doing so, I help out others who are looking for info about Avatar. If something I wrote helps maybe only one person, then that was a successful edit and was worth my time.
3. What do you expect of Korra?
A: I expect to see another amazing adventure in the Avatar World. I hope the new series will continue the path ATLA has taken: a mature series from which you can learn a lot, but still enough humor to keep it light and entertaining. I don't really have a preference for what I would like to see as I must admit that I gave up on thinking about it after reading all those specualtion theories that are flooding some of our LoK-related. I wish the creators will leave the old Team Avatar be. I hope that there will not be too many flashback, because to me the old series is done. Keeping it alive will derive attention away from Korra and will stretch ATLA out too much and stretching out a series is never good. That being said, I would /love/ to see Katara and Aang's wedding (be it a flashback, I don't care, I want to see the wedding!). And I want a good close up of Zuko's happy face as he kisses Mai, because he was overwhelmed by the romance on the wedding of Kataang (what? Me wanting to annoy the Zutarians? The nerve you have to even think that!).
4. How has the Answers Wiki been working lately?
A: Pretty good. It has come a long way from since Natsu and I began cleaning that site up. As with all things, we didn't do that alone of course and we owe a lot of clean up to the hard work of the Answer Gurus. We seriously couldn't have gotten the wiki to where it is now without the help of the gurus. Questions are getting answered to a decent level and there isn't a lot of spamming and vandalism going on, so that's all good. I must admit though that the answers wiki sometimes gives me more than a fair share of facepalms and headdesks, but then there is this heavenly thing called a "delete button". ^^ But the answers wiki can sometimes raise your spirits as well: either by getting a very good question and seeing that is gets an equally decent respons or just by reading a funny question like "What is the name of the Unnamed fire Avatar?". Having read that question 4 times was extremely good for lifting my spirits; good thing that they say "laughing is healthy". :-)
5. How's your fanon going? When do you think we will be able to read it? Can you tell something about it?
A: My fanon is going well, I'm currently working on my second chapter, but I probably won't post anything until I've written my third chapter so that if people actually like my fanon (wouldn't that be something?) they would actually have something to read. Although it seems that my chapters do tend to be quite lenghthy ^^. Only one problem: I've noticed that I am very creative when I am on a train or on a bus. Sadly enough, I'm only on a train/bus twice a week and thus I don't write as much.
That's part of the reason. The other part is that when I'm writing my fanon, I can't edit the wiki or talk on IRC, so I am still trying to figure out how exactly I am going to balance all that. So for those who are waiting to read it: it is all your fault! You shouldn't be so sarned interesting! ;-)
Now, what is it about? My fanon has 3 big influences: First: ATLA (what a shock, right?) Second: Ancient Egypt and third: Wilbur Smith's Egyptian novels, more specifically "River God" and "Warlock". Some already know that River God is my favorite book and I adore Smith's style of writing. (Come to think of it, he should pay me or something as I am widely advertising his book. At least 4 users here have started reading River God) Now, my fanon will be about Lostris Tamose, the Fire Nation's crown princess. Before I continue, I'd like to point out that I am not, but then absolutely NOT writing a fanon about myself. For those who have read River God will notice that the main character there is also called Lostris and she is a noble woman. I just trasnfered that to my fanon. To be honest, I've been a bit lazy when it comes to names as I have taken a lot of names out of Smith's books.
(Let's consider that as my payement for the advertising I've done.) Anyway, the fanon is set in ancient Egypt and follows Lostris' journey through the world as she first loses it all and then needs to fight like hell to maybe get it back. For those who know me, it will come as no surprise that the story has some romance in it, but I try to balance the mushy stuff with action, drama, humor and seriousness.