Like the comic says, I've come to the realization that (at least at this moment) I'm creatively incapable of exerting the momentum and effort required to continue writing BW. So I'm forced to momentarily put the series on hiatus; this will give me time to look things over, breath, and rehabilitate myself creatively. Something just happened in the months between finishing "Bathe With the Dogs" and trying to start on "Into Here I Am"; I feel terrible for it, but in that time, I came to lose any personal attachment to the project. I felt like I was doing this just to get it over with. Fan fiction is supposed to be something I do for myself, to act as a fun outlet for my creativity. But I fell into a rut. I was looking back, and realizing that perhaps my series was a bit overrated. It's perhaps just the writer's classic burden: my work is never good enough. I was losing the tonal weight of my story; the clean and polished prose (a story like mine with so many typos nearly screams that I was just trying to finish it as soon as possible); the dialogue; in-character moments and realistic maturing; all these things I was feeling were being deprived from my story, and perhaps weren't even there to begin with.
I'm being hard on myself, yes; but perhaps that's what needs to be done. I open up the word document for "Into Here I Am" sometimes, and it remains opened and untouched for days until I merely ex out of it. I've lost the creative drive to continue, and until I relapse and reequip myself with the necessary amount of effort and attachment, I need to put the series on hiatus. The pause button needs to be pushed. Better World, I feel, has the potential to be my authorial masterpiece, and to some it is, but to me, I need to improve it. I need to figure out just what I need to do with it. This is fan fiction, and from normal literature viewpoints, it's nothing. But in fan fiction viewpoints, BW can be a stand-out production. I just need to find my footing. I need to breath. The same applies to Five; I lost the joy and flow of the project. I need to stop and reexamine it from a tonal point of view to see just what I need to do to keep it consistent, polished, and genuinely good.
I don't know how much I'm actually gonna be doing comics like these. They take a lot of work, so maybe if I do do them on a regular basis and not just as a special, once-in-a-while type deal, I'll do less panels. My friend and colleague Topher assisted me throughout this, advising me on the technical workings of bitch-slapping GIMP to do what I want, and eventually adding in the dialouge for me. In a way, if Mini-Clash Comics materializes as a regularly-scheduled production, it will represent my way of relaxing while still minimally exerting my creativity. For it to be that, though, I need to not have to put so much work into completing it. It's a blow-off thing, a fun way of entertaining and expressing, like fan fiction is meant to be and what BW will become once I can shape it to be so. I hope I did Nero justice here, Twilitlink; it's my first time drawing him. If any authors of stories that regularly participate in Clashes wanna contribute to this with their writings, feel free. Collaboration is fun and a nice creative stretch.
Maybe I'm just being lazy, like Lee says. But if so, then laziness is the necessity for me at this moment. Writing BW is exhaustive, and the work I'm putting out isn't sufficient enough in my opinion. I need to breath and rehash; for my readers. For the people who actually give a shit about my fan fic that I feel needs work to be great. BW can be great, and with this hiatus, I hope it will be great.