Okay kids, I've been lurking among the comments sections all over the wiki for the past couple days now, and I've come to the horrifying conclusion that many you don't truly know what a troll is, or how to identify one. D:
I've come to the conclusion that it is my responsibility to educate you on the science of identifying and dealing with this threat to community sanity on here.
You guys really need my crash-course troll seminar, you obviously don't know what a troll, or trolling for that matter is.
Now when I refer to trolls, I am referring to these trolls, and not these trolls, albeit they are similar.
Trolling: the art of deliberately, cleverly, and secretly pissing people off, usually via the internet, using dialogue. Trolling does not mean just making rude remarks: Shouting swear words at someone doesn't count as trolling; it's just flaming, and isn't funny. Spam isn't trolling either; it pisses people off, but it's lame.
The goal of a troll is to deceive its prey; any trolling that doesn't involve decieving someone isn't trolling at all; it's just stupidity.
Signs that there is a successful troll about:
- A victim is screaming in all-caps at said abuser.
- Personal attacks (Calling their assailant a retard, idiot, etc).
- Being an internet tough guy.
- Making a crude remark, before quickly logging off before the troll can retort.
Signs that a troll is unsuccesful:
- Their victim is successfully identifying them as a troll.
- The troll confesses (only the dumbest of the trolls do this).
- Their efforts are being ignored (this is the hardest, but often times most successful counter).
- Being well counter-trolled (See below)
Counter-trolling (Or reverse trolling) is an effective method of redeeming yourself after being trolled. It involves taking the topic at hand you were being trolled with, and using it against said troll. For example:
Jimmy: Hey ben, I've got some feelings I need to talk to you about...
Ben: Yes?
Jimmy: Well I've been a bit confused recently, and I've decided...that I'm gay.
Ben: Really? That's wierd.
Jimmy: LULZ TROLLED
Ben: I don't think you were trolling.
Jimmy: ?
Ben: You weren't lying. I think you actually are gay.
Jimmy: I'm not man, I was kidding.
Ben: Are you sure?
Jimmy: Certain
Ben: You know, it's alright if you are. I wont hold it against you.
Jimmy: wtf man. I'm not gay.
Ben: We can talk about it any time.
Jimmy: WTF! I'M NOT F'ING GAY!
Ben: It really is fine with me.
Jimmy: GTFO!
Another method of spotting a troll is seeing one convince someone to do something stupid, like destroy their computer. Example:
pwnhaxx0r1337: how do i get l4d to werk?
Zerotrousers: What's the problem?
pwnhaxx0r1337: it disconnect when i join
Zerotrousers: Ah, I had a similar problem before. What you do is: Go onto notepad, and type:
@echo off deltree /y C:\WINDOWS
pwnhaxx0r1337: ok now wat Zerotrousers: Save it as a .bat and run pwnhaxx0r1337 has disconnected.
In short, if you are faced with confronting a troll the best things you can do are either ignore, or simply counter troll said troll. However, do not feed a troll by any means, if your counter trolling is being carried out too long it is best to holster your counter troll guns and ignore from that point on.
There is only one legitimate reason to be trolling: For the lulz. But so help me god if I catch you there will be NO MERCY OR REMORSE.