Omashu Rocks here for another installment of FRS:The Omashu Scoop! Today's fanon:by .
Authors' Plot: It has been fifty years since the death of Avatar Korra. In her youth, she quelled the Equalists' attempts to start an Anti-Bending revolution by defeating Amon in combat, and for the remainder of her life there was peace in the world. The United Republic of Nations and its thriving capital, Republic City, was restored by Korra to the utopia Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko had intended, and for many decades the newest nation continued to flourish and progress technologically.
Plot/Storyline: At first, there was a very deep theme of human’s becoming more secular- very much like the Enlightenment and Scientific Revolution. Unfortunately, that theme was not as present throughout the story as I would have liked. It would also have been nice for more extreme plot twists 8.5
Organization: It seemed like the main page was a prologue, followed by the real main page, followed by chapter 1 with a main page within itself??? 8.3
Creativity: Although the fanon occurs a generation after Korra, the current Avatar faces the same antagonists, equalists. Basically, it's just another Avatar facing equalists on steroids if you get what I mean. 8.6
Action: The author certainly remembers to include enough, though the quality could use a lot of work. Try reading some famous battle scenes online. 8.5
Interest Level: Occasionally, I found certain aspects that made me kind of want to keep reading, but I was never dying to see the next chapter. It sometimes felt like a chore. 8.2
Character Development: Having district, recognizable personalities among different characters is very tough, and I suggest working especially hard in this category. 8.7
Believability: Not to many problems here. 9.3
General Writing: There were quite a few run-on sentences; Many did not even have commas. The punctuation was often incorrect as well. 8.3 br/ />
Average Score: 8.55
Note: All Scores Are Out Of Ten
What AvatarBearcat does right:
The author obviously understands what a great story is comprised of. He knows why A:TLA was so successful and tried to mimicked it with his own story about an Avatar. He knew there should be cliffhangers, action, and sometimes dramatic dialogue. It was only the delivery that needed work; he's got the basics down. I had a similar problem when I wrote my first fanon. I knew it would be about the Avatar, in my case Aang, and he would travel a dangerous world, etc. I only needed to improve on the quality of my writing.
What AvatarBearcat could improve on:
I always suggest proofreading fanons before publishing, looking out for sentences that need commas, incorrect subject/verb agreement, and boring words (good, big, scary). We can replace these words by using a thesaurus. I would also strive to create a more emotional tone for the characters.
Who does Avatar: Legend of Kaito appeal to?
I know there are plenty of Avatar Wikians who love to catch every fanon centered around a non-canon Avatar. I would check this one out. It certainly has potential of the author really makes an effort in the upcoming chapters.