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Omashu Rocks here for another installment of FRS:The Omashu Scoop! Today's fanon:by .
Authors' Plot: Disharmony in the Fire Nation may cause a civil war. Assassins lurk in the temples, waiting to kill. Avatar Gatton, through tragedy, has overcame everything in his path. With the help of his grandchildren, they shall uncover a great plan. Conspiracies are normal in this chapter; key to the plot of the next book they shall be.
Plot/Storyline: The idea for the story is ok, but the plot moves too quickly. One moment, Gatton learns he’s the Avatar, then he can perform Airbending moves, then it’s twenty-five years later. The jumping around made it seem a bit confusing. Sometimes authors need to step back and ask “Could I follow this if I wasn’t the author?” The chapters are also quite short 8.4
Organization: Like I said, the plot could be confusing at times. 8.5
Creativity: There are many tales about the next Avatar, or the one after him, and so on. At least this one has a few cool twists here and there that make it more enjoyable. 9.0
Action: There was action in the first chapter- not everyone can pull that off. Unfortunately, action later on in the fanon was often brief and lacking substance. 8.8
Interest Level: Honestly, I was never too bored when reading this. 9.2
Character Development: There is room for more emotions, though I love the character of Gatton’s grandma! 9.0
Believability: Just about everything checks out. 9.3
General Writing: Some gramatical errors, such as incorrect subject/verb agreement and out of place words, were way too common. I would occasionally have to read some sentences two or three times. This can only be fixed by proofreading, as I believe the author would recognize the mistakes if he did so. 8.0
Average Score: 8.7
Note: All Scores Are Out Of Ten
What Kuzonkid7 does right:
The author has a nice sense of humor, and some parts were pretty funny. I'm pretty sure I actually chuckled out loud in the first chapter. Also, the idea in his head seems like it has potential. All of the parts are there, they just need to be put together with hard work and concentration.
What Kuzonkid7 could improve on:
It's very clear which moments the author meant to be suspenseful and full of action. They could have been if the writing had been more clear. The only way to improve this is reading over the entire chapter at least one time before publishing. You can also use a thesaurus to add some colorful vocabulary in fight scenes, etc.
Who does The Lost Air Temple appeal to?
If you've watched a series about the Air Avatar, Aang, are watching one about Korra, and have read/ are not interested in one about an Earth Avatar, and are looking for one about the Fire Avatar, check this out.