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Fanon Review:Child of War and Avatar: The Legend of the Phoenix

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FRSimage
This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!

Omashu Rocks here with another installment of FRS:The Omashu Scoop! Today we have a double review of Child of the War by Annawantimes and Avatar: The Legend of the Phoenix by Saphira1001. First up, Child of the War:

Author's Plot: The series describes the life of a boy named Jenju who's life has been severely uprooted by the war of Avatar Aang's epoch. One day, his entire life is burned to the ground. He is unsure whether or not his parents survived the attacked, and he must go after the group of enemies. What dangers will he face along the way, and will devastation await him when he catches them?

I was particularly excited to test this fanon because, like most users on the wiki, I recognize and know Annawan for being an outstanding editor to canon pages, and I was eager to see how he would fare in the fanon namespace writing a story of his very own. Well, Child of War turned out to be a success.

SCORES:

Plot/Storyline: The author wastes no time getting to the meat of the plot. (which happens to be unique and interesting) This is a risky move but Annawan executes it nicely. 9.4
Organization: I don't think the author will be surprised to see that the chapters are extremely short. Yes, some are longer than others but I highly suggest expanding on each chapter to add more content. This could always boil down to a matter of preference, I suppose. 9.2
Creativity: A certain scene involving a shop and its shopkeeper is pretty interesting. There are unique thing here and there, but it is always best to introduce a major character/object/theme that is entirely unique. 9.0
Action: Battles are described excellently with great vocabulary/verb usage to help put the reader in the fight 9.4
Interest Level: This is one of those fanons where the first chapter (particularly the ending) hooks readers right away. Annawan includes plenty of suspenseful moments and cliffhangers. 9.4
Character Development: Jenju is coming to be one of my favorites on the wiki, and Sha Lu is quite the interesting fellow--readers' knowledge of him develops at a good pace. 9.4
Believability: Indeed, many children in the Earth Kingdom lost their families. I was a bit surprised, though, at how quickly Jenju seemed to get over his. There are other moments that may not be completely feasible either. I don't believe this should bother any reader too much. 9.0
General Writing: We all know that Annawan utilizes amazing grammar skills across the wiki, so it shouldn't be a surprise that the writing in his fanon was also top-knotch. That includes vocab and descriptions. 9.5

Average Score: 9.3
Note:All Scores Are Out Of Ten

What Annawan does right: This fanon has plenty of high-quality description, whether of fights, scenery, emotions, etc. I believe it's Annawan's colorful vocabulary and imaginative mind that help him depict certain moments of his story beautifully.

What Annawan could improve on: Like I said earlier, the author would greatly benefit from making chapters longer. That is a lesson I myself learned while writing my own fanon. My chapters used to be very short and somewhat lacking in content, but now that I'm comfortable with writing much longer pieces, I can include more of everything from fights to jokes. My other main suggestion would be to come up with something big and something new. This can be a unique kick-butt villain never-before-seen powers, a city built underwater, lightning that shoots from the ground, whatever.

Who does Child of the War appeal to? If you like tales of brave individuals whose lives have been uprooted by the Fire Nation, and enjoy stories not revolving around Team Avatar but taking place during their era, you will love this story. In fact, just about any reader should love this, because there truly is a bit of something for various types of readers.

Now for the second fanon, Avatar: The Legend of the Phoenix

Author's Plot: The Series follows the journey of Erica who is the newest Phoenix. The Phoenix is a girl who is able to master two of the four elements. Fire then another in the order of Air, Earth, then Water. It is the Phoenix duty to keep the Avatar in check and ensure he or she doesn't lose control and try and take over the world. However since there is no Avatar the icy valley where Erica learns waterbending Erica must choose what she will do with her life. Book One follows Erica heading to the North Pole to learn Waterbending while avoid General Hasma and the rest of the Fire Nation. Takes place around 97 AG.

As I was reading the plot, my train of thought was something like this: "Phoenix, eh? I wonder what that means… Controls two elements? That's pretty cool." And… it was pretty cool. I found this story to be a nice refresher from the typical types of fanons seen on the wiki, not that those aren't great too.

SCORES:

Plot/Storyline: The background of the how the Phoenix came to be left a few unanswered questions, but the rest of the storyline filled out nicely with Erica making her way in the world and such. 9.3
Organization: Saphira thought ahead, that much is clear. The fanon also has nice page-breakers to help with reading, pictures to help visualize scenes, and even a cool title sequence! 9.5
Creativity: I've never read a fanon about a world in which someone is chosen to keep the Avatar in check by bending two elements, however, it would have been nice to see a diversion from the standard path of traveling to the nation corresponding to the next element one must learn. 9.3
Action: The description of action is nice but it could stand to be longer and more much frequent. More action=more interest. 8.9
Interest Level: I liked the cliffhanger in A Friend; however, I've noticed that more chapters end happily with a feel-good tone to them rather than a suspenseful break in the story. I've found that more readers respond to the latter approach in sparking interest for the next chapter. I'll be honest, I wasn't always that excited to move on. This fanon needs more suspense. 8.3
Character Development: OK in this department, not only the the human characters develop nicely but I love Erica's pet, Natsu. He, in my opinion, has the best personality, and he's just plain awesome in some chapters. 9.3
Believability: Here's where the background comes in. It wouldn't have hurt to explain how exactly leaders of the four nations simply dumped their powers into one person, and how the Fire Sages obtained the ability to create Airbenders. Other than that, watch out for "No-Way" moments. 8.7
General Writing:FINALLY, someone who understands punctuation templates. This is the first fanon I've read in a while that's used conjunctive adverbs correctly. I would only suggest being cautious of repetitiveness and misusing the word "got". 9.3

Average Score: 9.0
Note:All Scores Are Out Of Ten

'What Saphira1001 does right: First of all, I love the font. On a serious note, the author is good at simulating the feel of the show in terms of happy moments and the friendships that can be developed among characters.

What Saphira1001 could improve on: Suspense! I understand that it may not be your style, but after reading many, many, many fanons on this wiki, I've found a helpful statistic: most popular fanons are very suspenseful.

Who does Avatar: The Legend of the Phoenix to? I feel strangely urged to say Katara fans here. I believe this may be because both Erica and Katara are young, strong individual women (who both happen to learn Waterbending in the North Pole). I also think that perhaps people who, for lack of a better word, "calmer" story will be drawn to this fanon.

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