Omashu Rocks here for another installment of FRS:The Omashu Scoop! Today's fanon isby .
Official Plot: Set six hundred fifty years before Aang's awakening. The Earth Kingdom's Avatar Ku Tei's, time has passed, an era of both war and peace during Ku Tei's time. The cycle continues on, and the Avatar Spirit reincarnates into a child within the Fire Nation. The new Avatar Rong Yan, the Fire Nation Avatar prior Avatar Roku learns of his status at the age of sixteen, and starts his Avatar journey to master the other three elements in order Air, Water, and Earth.
Somewhere within the Earth Kingdom an ex-general now criminal had escaped prison within the walls of Ba Sing Se, the media of the city believes that the general while spending his years in prison mastered a sub type of earthbending rumored to be rare and extremely unique called metalbending. Rong Yan later learns that an escaped prisoner from Ba Sing Se has a personal vendetta on him and that he wants to eliminate him.
The ex-general learns that the Avatar is looking for him as well, going in two completely different ways Rong Yan and Senlin eventually meet up at a Fire Nation unnamed isle with non-extinct volcanoes and have the final showdown. Rong Yan must master all four elements to annihilate a very powerful earthbender, or perish.
Plot/Storyline: When I started my fanon following an Earth Kingdom Avatar who travels the world and learns the elements in order to stop some gigantic threat, it just barely got by as being "kinda unoriginal." Unfortunately, August 2012 is probably way too late for a fanon of this nature to make news. It would be like someone trying to write a successful post-war Energybending fanon now. I also found that some parts of the story could be painfully slow. 7.8
Creativity: Again, I must dock points for the common plot. I'm sad to say that the author doesn't include enough unique aspects to make up for it. 8.0
Action: It's not the amount of action that's the problem; it's the quality. This is where I come in and shout "Use a thesaurus!!!" When an author is reviewing his/her chapters before publishing, they should read over their battle scenes two or three more times than the rest and pretend that they're a reader. Does the battle flow? Can I imagine the fight in my head? 8.4
Interest Level: 8.6
Character Development: It pains me to say that I really don't feel for any of the characters. None of them have very distinct personalities. 7.5
Believability: I said earlier that some parts move to slow. Well, these are the parts that aren't very important. The parts that should be a bit longer are very rushed and I find some of it pretty incredulous. 7.5
General Writing: Sometimes commas were where they shouldn't, but that wasn't too big of a deal. My biggest complaint is that there was no flavor to the sentences. The descriptions were rather bland. 8.4
Average Score: 8.03
Note: All Scores Are Out Of Ten
What King Bumis Heir does right/can improve on:
He has a great idea in his head; it's the delivery that needs work. Rong Yan's whole adventure is pretty interesting, but there needs to be an increase in description quality and character development for this fanon to attract readers.