Still, the Gaang does run into a nasty little surprise just as they’re finding their way to a suitable location to start the episode’s shenanigans.
Figure 2
Ah, classification. There are no many fun things that can be done with its wonders. I mean, come on! You can classify stuff, and sort things, and even . . . all right, nobody likes classification. But that doesn’t mean we can’t classify anyway. For instance, take a look at the image above. Ugly? Check. Messy? Check. Slobbering all over everything? And checkity check [and check and check and checkity check]. Utter disregard for canon? That we don’t know, strictly speaking, but based off of the other qualifications, I’m pretty sure we’ve got that down, too.
So Aang and Katara end up in a horror movie. You know the golden rules of horror movies, don’t you? The monster eats one purpose. The couple decides to do it in the woods or wherever the horror movie is set. Then the fun begins.
Aang: “Avatar is a horror movie? Obligatoryse—”
Aang!Abridged: “Don’t steal my makeup line.”
Aang: [reveals the monster to be Sokka] “Le gasp!”
Sokka: “And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids. And that lemur.”
Quick, someone copyright this stuff! It’s pure gold! What’s-her-face from the Rumpelstiltskin legend got nothing on this!
So, while a pair of comically incompetent guards shows up—har har har, let’s make a whole bunch of jokes about the stupidity of security, as if that hasn’t been done before—Aang is shown to be the Pocahontas of Avatar. Well, no, more like Aqualad, thanking his aquatic friends for the day being saved. This might not be Townsville, but for some reason I can’t get the thought of Aang as Aqualad out of my mind. Thanks television. Thanks.
Getting Aang out of Atlantis for the sake of the rest of you who hasn’t seen Teen Titans, enter the two incompetent guards. Thought process time:
“So here are these three weird kids. Two of them are clearly from the Water Tribe, with their blue clothing, blue eyes, and dark skin, but whatever, I’m sure that they’re just dressing for Halloween or something, no need to worry. Then there’s that last kid with blue arrows on his hands and a turban on his head. Huh. Blue arrows? That sounds familiar. Where’ve I heard that before . . . ? Wasn’t he some great evildoer or something that would destroy the Fire Nation if he got out? Oh, yeah, the Avatar! But what was I supposed to do with him? Wait, pentapox? When I was a little kid my older cousin disappeared one day! I bet she died of pentapox and didn’t like all the rest of the family said. Gotta run, don’t want to catch the pentapox!”
Hey, hey TAD, you forgot to cite me, Monkeyfeathers, for the above but you won’t see this since you never proofread your own work. I could write anything . . . I’m gone mad with power mad with power mad with power mad with poer mad with power
Still, don’t want to abuse, hey msword stop with the autocorrect bull, so imma – lol corrected that to imam, don’t even know what that is - hop off and disappear something. Wonder if she’ll see it probably wont heh
To Monkeyfeathers: Yes, I did see it, but I decided I’d leave it in here as a testament of your stupidity. Really? Okay. Moving right along, then, to your regularly scheduled programming. And Monkeyfeathers? Use your grammar. Really.
Figure 3
A roundive applause to BlueDagger now, for coming up with that piece of awesome. Someday, BlueDart shall avenge thee, and shall write a fanon called . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Scottish Jigging Shadows. It will be amazing, and it will have Scottish jigs in it.
Wauw, you’re supposed to capitalize Scottish? Thanks MicroSoft Word, I didn’t know that! You must be some kind of genius program to do that for me as if I’m a three-year-old!
Yung isn’t young at all. In fact, he’s rather old. Now this guy right here is a general of some sort whose leading an underground resistance.
Literally.
Ha, ha, ha, puns. [wipes imaginary tear with eye] Excuse me while I practice for my upcoming pun-off.
At some point in time, Mai and co. arrived in Omashu. Mai, the face of a thousand Zutarian nightmares, is the only person in the entire world to whom the phrase “shot daggers from her eyes” could apply, as I’m pretty sure she has knives in her eyeballs at well. With enough hidden firepower to get the TSA a-groping, not that that would require much at all, she is the daughter of the governor of New Ozai, and her parent believe strongly that children should be seen, not heard, which is why they don’t realize the fact that their fifteen-year-old leaves without a trace.
Monkeyfeathers and I have been pushing a few theories about this, and we’ve come to the conclusion that they assumed she was in the bathroom all that time. I’m sure they were extremely concerned for her once they realized she was actually missing. Oh wait, they didn’t.
A bit of warning: The following demote can be considered a tad offensive, especially to Zutarians. You’ve been warned . . . or something. See you on the other side. [turns into a llama]
Figure 4
[is shot] Yes, I went there. Now can you kill me after I do the demote? Danku. That’s TADdish for “that’s wasn’t a question/request; it was an order”.
Please note that while no animals were harmed in the making of this demote, I did test out Mai’s knife throwing a few times, and I can’t say that no big sisters were harmed in the makings of this demote. Still, who cares about them? Tom-Tom and the New Ozai governing family certainly don’t.
Mai goes ahead and kicks the rear end of each member of Team Avatar and nails them to a wall before Aang is able to stop her, but not before the amazingly magical advances of Avatar technology, here to bring up something so amazing and so magical . . .
Figure 5
. . . as an animé background. Yes, they actually decided to put one in there. Actually, Mai uses a whole bisonload of animé backgrounds, also known as stock footage, which was initially a bit frightening until I realized this is the only episode in which they decided to do something like this. I wonder why, though? It’s not like they always have the backgrounds painted beforehand—in many cases, it’s the opposite way around. Why stock footage specifically for Mai, of all people? Oh well. I’m glad they experimented just once with this and then dropped.
What’s that, Monkeyfeathers? You wanted to say something?
“Yeah, actually, I did want to say something, right over here. Tadpole, I don’t care what you say, but I [expletive removed] Okay, that was my wrong or whatever. I won’t cuss again, I swear on my life or some crap like that. So the idiots of Avatar decided to snag something new in Legend of Korra.”
Time-out, Monkeyfeathers, no spoilers, all right? No spoilers, or I’ll be kicked from here to kingdom come.
“Whatever. So the animation is so retarded now, it was great Avatar, now it sucks a lot, well boo hoo hoo.”
How is it retarded? I think it’s beautiful. It’s so crisp, like Sozin’s Comet.
“No, Sozin’s Comet and the rest of banana bread Avatar had cinnamon softness around their outlines! They can’t tomato do this to us!”
What did I say about the cursing?
“Why banana bread? Fine whatever godieinahole. Look at that beautiful beauty of Avatar! Look at the soft softness!”
Now you’re stealing my lines.
“Korra is so sharp it makes my eyes bleed! And the backgrounds look like crap Pokémon extravaganza! Seriously, did they just steal the backgrounds from Best Wishes or what?”
Pokémon . . . about what are you blabbering, Monkeyfeathers? The backgrounds are fine.
“No they’re hideous, look at that, it’s making my eyes squirt blood all over the screen it’s that awful.”
Can we try to keep it below PG-13? You have one more sentence, Monkeyfeathers, because I don’t have time or this.
“One sentence is all I’ll get question mark; okay, fine I’ll deal with that; so as I was screaming into your ears before you decided to be all rude and crap on me, the backgrounds don’t look at all like Avatar; Avatar had these very fine, very soft, very whispered backgrounds, very organic, even in the super technological city like the Fire Nation or whatever, even the airships were very soft, very nice, but these look so postmodern or postpostpostpostpostpostpostpostpostmodern on top of that that I don’t know what the strawberry shortcake to make of them; I’m at a loss; is this Avatar, or is this Korra slapped onto some animé backgrounds?!”
. . .
. . .
. . .
Two things.
(1) You will never be allowed to use semicolons again.
(2) That’s not what kind of animé background to which I was referring, but sure, go ahead, just jump in rudely like you’re in the only person who does the demotes.
“Will do, pupil tadpole.”
And don’t call me that!
Figure 6
And now we introduce another one of Ozai’s Aangels, the famous acrobat known as fanservice Ty Lee, whose aura has never been pinker! Really, fellas, she actually went around documenting her aura at all times and is certain that her aura at that exact moment was the most pinkest in her entire life, grammar be skewered to a wall and stuffed full of rotten dinosaur zombies. Either that or robot pirates. I’ve never really been able to tell the difference, but who has?
Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula are quite . . . infamous, to say the least, as the most strangely shipped love triangle in all of Avatar. Tyzula, Maizula, Ty Lai—all three of them have been shipped, sometimes . . . in conjunction.
[put on a doctor’s coat] Have you been scarred for life? Yes, no, maybe, lobster? Lobster? Good, excellent then.
So Mai is the ##tokengoth and Ty Lee is the ##tokencheerleader, both of which every good high school needs to succeed. Which means, of course, that the number of “Avatar Academy” fanfictions has exploded, and why Saving the World—Except for Maths Homework is on a stop for now.
Strangely, Ty Lee is oddly hyperactive and is actually able to say no for once, something she never does again.
“Hey, if she can’t say no, all the better for me. Hey, hey fanservice!”
I’m going to ignore you now Monkeyfeathers. And so the day was saved, thanks to me, not the PPG [hey, look, it rhymed].
But trust me, guys, Ty Lee can be compared to a glacier, because beneath Ty Lee’s seemingly idiotic and beautiful exterior is a very intelligent hamster on a wheel. Why so intelligent? It knows that no one will notice if it doesn’t run.
Figure 7
Indeed, Momo has all of his priorities straight. While the rest of Omashu mysteriously comes down with a mysterious disease, because clearly no guard at all was watching while the entire freaking population handed around a bunch of pinkish purple blobs and attached them to its faces. I mean, out of all of the multitudes of guards guarding everything, there wasn’t a single one who turned his mug down and saw the interesting masses? What, do they have a First Amendment guaranteeing the right of assembly over there? I didn’t think so. What in the world?
Cha, I’m just sitting there stupefied, to the where I honestly can’t spell the word, and unable to comprehend what was going on over there. All right, remember that guard protocol from 113?
(1) Make sure to take your post first thing in the morning, even if Chan’s party last night was killer.
(2) Keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual. Don’t pick your toes with your sword, then sniff it.
(3) If you notice something, send three (3) messenger hawks, or send one of your guards with the message at well. Actually, go ahead and do both.
(4) If you notice that the streets are deserted . . . do the same thing.
(5) If a plague of zombies come out of nowhere, don’t assume they are zombies, but make sure you have a medical expert on hand, which certainly every single occupation of a foreign city of a country with whom one is at war should. What’s that? You don’t have anything like that and you don’t even know what kind of gibberish I’m speaking?
Side note: If a plague of zombies comes out of nowhere, do not—I repeat—do not do anything exotic in the woods, unless you want to die.
However, feel free to pull on your friend’s lips and beg for what we can assume to be feeding.
The gutter . . . it beckons . . . and Monkeyfeathers?”
“What?”
Don’t. Say. A. Word.
[waggles eyebrows]
Figure 8
Those are bacui berries right? I’m afraid I’m not exactly a botany master. I’m a Pokémon Master, and I’m learning to be an Airbending Master, and I’m most definitely a Shipbending Master, but botany? Nope, nope, I don’t have that in me. So I’m just going to presume I got my 50% chance right. You can’t have a fair but better chance than that, unless you know the answer ahead of time, but let’s face—then it wouldn’t be fair. Ooh, so tattle to the teacher. Or sue me. Whichever one your age group prefers.
As many of the lemur’s admirers know, Momo shows up inside of the big palace looking thing in the middle of New Ozai—what did they rename Ba Sing Se? New Azula?—and sees these delectable substitutes for shrooms. Gulping down one pawful of lemur-meth after another, he suddenly finds himself hallucinating a monster trying to eat his tail. Was it worth it?
(AP) Gaoling, Earth Kingdom—After months of rehab, Momo, the well-known hero of the show Avatar: The Last Airbender and the loved philanthropist and donator to charity, has whipped up yet another bestseller. The three-year-old lemur met with our reporter outside of his home in Gaoling. He seemed to be worse for the wear, but a crowd of fans attempted to see him off anyway, crying his favorite phrases of [ch-chitter] and [chittery chit]. With his normally fluffed-up and beautiful coat now gray and lifeless due to his addiction, the former star explained, “Chit rrrrr chittery ch-chit t’t’t’chirrup chit’ry chirrup rrrrrrrr ch-chirr chittery t’t’chit.”
Still, he is very popular now amongst the crowd, as many find his story inspiring and energizing. “Rrrr t’chitt’ry chirr chirrup chit’ry t’t’ch-chit chittery ch-chit,” he continued, referring to the bestselling status of his latest book, Chirrup t’chit rr Ch-chitt’ry, which details how he finally managed to snap out of his continued drug use and abuse A chilling tale, it describes every moment of this life experience in horrifying precision. Sample sentence: “T’t’chirrup ch-chit t’t’t’t’t’chit’ry rrrrrrrr chirr chirr t’chirr t’t’ch-chittery chit chit rrrrr chitt’ry ch-chit t’chirp chittery chit rrrrrrrr ch-chirrup chittery t’t’t’chit.” As strange as it may sound, his thousands of admirers have swarmed the shelves, and one Barnes and Noble representative confided, “If it weren’t for him, we’d have gone out of business a few years ago.”
Figure 9
As one might think, if one were intelligent, one should never leave a baby alone. Just picture all of the Saturday morning cartoons of yonder times, a lá Tom and Jerry, which amid their violent and often silly humor did simultaneously accomplish something: They told us never to leave a baby on its own, or it would wander into construction yard after construction yard after construction yard, and no one wanted that, trust me.
So who left this poor infant all by himself? Did his parents just think, eh, he’s only our sole child [it’s not that they remembered Mai existed or anything] and only the spawn of the governors of New Ozai, who are by the way hated by almost everyone within the city, so let’s simply leave him on this nice table full of lemur food and go do something . . . other there? Because, naturally, we can’t say hi to another one of the guards and ask them kindly to show up here and keep watch over dear Tom-Tom for just a few minutes. No, no, we certainly can’t do that.
Well, since he has no one to care for him, and we don’t want to be inconvenienced, we should leave him here. After all, it’s either that or a dumpster.
And as for little get sick the plague montage?
Let’s get down to business, to come down with plague . . .
Figure 10
While the two dragons slack off and carry on little conversations—but is that the dragons talking or their neurotic handlers?—Ty Lee, who looks like a character straight out of Yu-Gi-Oh, is busily hanging on for her life and/or trying not to die as Azula unleashes the horrors of bestiality unto them all. With snorts, roars, grumbles, glubs, twitters, and the sound of vigorous scratching, the tent is overrun with the largest collection of chimeras in the entire world, as the animals appear out of magic hammerspace . . . magically.
Cha, and look! Ty Lee agrees to go with Azula after the latter gives her black flowers! And then—of course—of course—she tells Mai that “Azula called a little louder”. Say it with me all! It must be shipping! It must be shipping! It . . . must . . . be . . . shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Figure 11
Now the parents have returned from their vacation and are sitting around horrified at the loss of their precious son, because they realized that he is a male, not a Mai. “Where could he be?!” they panic, their hands tapping their arms nervously, their eyes darting around as if in a horror movie and terrified the zombies will be able to smell the vaguely seafood-ish scent. “Surely he doesn’t the plague? We love him so much! It’s not as if we would have abandoned him! This is so surprising! Why, we had five guards stationed around him. Before we left, we made sure ten of them knew that they were doing. Why didn’t one of the twenty guards we stationed notice he was leaving?”
Mai: “. . . fire flakes, Dad?”
You know, I’m starting to think that Mai and Koh would go together excellently. Next time Avatar Aang needs knowledge of some kind, he’s sending Mai in.
Figure 12
But yes, Tom-Tom ends up with the crowd, Katara ends up with someone to coo over, and I end up with nightmares of her precious cooing voice. Spirits, take that voice away from me . . . I’m going to be sick all over everything in a second. Take it away from me, now.
[shudders]
So while Katara relishes the thought of having a child and Aang relishes the thought of having a child with Katara, Ozai’s Angels talk amongst themselves about what they can possibly do to save the day . . . or at least their own skins. And that, of course, means sacrificing Tom-Tom. Because who cares about Tom-Tom?
Figure 13
While Aang turns blue and begins to suffer from short term memory loss, let’s pause for a moment and consider something else.
Azula shows up out of nowhere. Yes, she’s the Crown Princess. But why did Ozai task her with hunting down the Avatar in the first place? Though it is true that the Avatar more or less gave them a one-up during the attempted to genocide of the Northern Water Tribe . . . no, wait, point taken. But that not my true point: Where is her army of trained assassins? Why in the world did Fire Lord Ozai decide to allow her to pick up a pair of friends from a circus and some palace? Mai at least I can understand, with her being a noblewoman, but Ty Lee? Of all the things that someone could have . . . shouldn’t Ty Lee, who left her own family and is therefore self-disowned, be the one obsessed with honor? Except it’s self-leaving, I get you, and that’s why Ozai allowed it. Because screw horse sense, we’ve got acrobatics and chi blocking. And people throwing knives. And lightning.
Still, what if there was a crack team composed of Junes?
[shudders]
Cha, I think I’m going to have nightmares now. For the rest of my life. And they will involve paralysis. And death. Mostly death.
Figure 14
Here, Turtle Girl the raging fangirl, take the wheel.
“And ohmagawd Ty Lee and Mai are like sooooooooooooo cute together dont u think? bc ofc they r so sweet n stuff i gotta ask tho y do they look funny in tht pic watvr so—”
[arches eyebrows] Er, proper grammar please. Otherwise I have no bloody ideas what you’re saying. Sorry.
“I think that Ty Lee and Mai are totally shippers, look at the boiling rock, they ship, you can see it everywhere, they’re so sweet shipping, too.”
Right, right, right, so let ask you a question. Why in the world are you shipping them? Do you ship just them, or what else do you ship?
“I like Maaaaaaaiko and Tyzuuuuuuuula too, and Ty Lokka, but really I ship Sokkla, bc ofc they are *toooo cuteeeeeee*.”
Huh. Well, I’m sorry that I had to delete the rest of the rambling three thousand word rant about absolutely nothing.
[squints]
Canon shipping, please.
Now, here’s another question, not to the raging fangirl up there—yes, I picked that participle ever so precisely—but who authorized giving Bumi up for Tom-Tom? Where’s the army behind Azula? What if Aang went Avatar State? Who’s going to let three fourteen to fifteen year olds—Azula is fourteen?! What the . . . can we say never ending mindscrew?—just show up and do some good old fashioned political bargaining? I repeat: Where is the army? Where? Show me the army that Ozai surely sent with his prized daughter and last descendant of his lineage, lest the throne be turned over to some cousin or something hanging off the family tree like a bush desperately needed some weeding? Wouldn’t Ozai give two monkeyfeathers about protecting his own control of the throne?
[raises an eyebrow] Unless he secretly wants for Azula to die, as he’s certain that she will attempt to overthrow him at some point in the future.
What if she asked him for an army, and he refused?
What if that was why she was forced to Mai and Ty Lee, who could still help her with this?
What if this explains everything?! “You keep your throne if you come home with Zuko or the Avatar.”
Of course, she would never tell anyone, lest she succumb to the way of Zuko. This explains why following her initial failure at capturing Zuko, she decided to capture the Avatar instead, because she’s lost her ship and her army and was now resorting to drastic measures. Yes, she later has the train and the drill, but this was after showing her father that she was competent enough. Furthermore, after the failure of the drill, she’s alone with Ty Lee and Mai again and once more has no one beside her except for her two friends, neither of whom know the truth.
Oh my . . . oh my . . . I understand, Bryke. I understand your genius! I understand your—
[is shot]
[A mysterious man appears.]
“She knows too much. We can’t let her pass.”
[A long puff of smoke.]
“Get her out of here, boys, and replace her with that prototype.”
[A pause.]
“The one with the ASC.”
[Another man.]
“The . . . rear end, sir?”
[The sound of a knife hitting flesh and a body falling to the ground.]
“No. The Anti-Spoiler Chip.”
[A third.]
“Yessir. And the body?”
[Beat.]
“Leave it.”
[But suddenly from the depths of the shot body comes a voice.]
What the . . . who are you people? Out of my house.
“She’s awake!”
“Kill her!”
You idiots. I’m anonymous. I’m immortal on the Internet. Besides, I have a +12 in reincarnation.
[They stare.]
Leave before I use the Holy Powers of Narration upon thee.
And then the men left the house, and all of them forget their names and were promptly eaten by a sharkgator the instant they turned innocent.
Ha, ha, ha, the Holy Powers of Narration. Don’t you just adore them?
15
Oh, that’s why. Makes sense. Before we start talking about fanservicing, though, having I got a question to the animators. What is up with Ty Lee’s waist? It looks like an hourglass. An aangular hourglass. I’m not even sure that anatomically possible. I mean look at that. If you check the next screenshot, her waist seems to be smaller than her head, and her eyes look more like Derpy Hooves from MLP than Ty Lee. So some animator evidently fell asleep sometime during this scene, and Bryke didn’t even bat an eye while it was going on. What . . . in the world . . . okay, okay, okay, I won’t laugh at the animators. But come on. Really? Okay.
Figure 16
Aang and co. show up with baby cradled under arm, because that’s just what they do, and Azula smiles patiently at them and decides, “Eh, let’s kill them anyway. Hooray.”
And then they were killed anyway. How mean. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
We all know everything about things like that now, don’t we? We’re all aware of how stupid some people are, and is, naturally, no exception. Nope, why did Team Avatar think that it could trade Bumi for some little kid? And by the way, how did they even know that Tom-Tom was born to the governor of New Ozai? How do they know these things? What do they do, read the script?
But here’s another question: Did the Gaang actually think that they would just turn over Bumi? And why didn’t they bring an army of rebels?
And spirits, where is Azula’s army?!
Figure 17
And in a massive giant worldslide of I don’t even know what, Aang evidently has a seizure of some sort. To tell you the truth, this is one of the few episodes that I really haven’t seen often enough to know from where that screenshot is, and I have no idea what’s with the animé background.
But still, for the lulz, Zutara Rule 34 is the rule of the Avatar shipping dumb . . . there must be Zutara on all sites, in some degree, and they must all include Rule 34.
Figure 18
Like everyone else in this demote, Mai goes on the Internet, and when she discovered Katara artwork everywhere, she became . . . slightly less bored than usual. I’ll put it that way. It certainly gave her something to do while bored to imaginary tears—it’s like she would actually cry or something, as that would totally not be like her, not at all, no, never—
All right, pregunta. What’s with the “Sokka comes out of nowhere on Appa and smashes into Ozai’s Angels” thing? Did no one see him coming? Because, you know, sky bison are secretly ninjas and therefore the laws of light reflection don’t apply to them, and they’re invisible, so you can’t get out of the way until they decide to turn themselves visible. You know, this one time, my mum was trying to back a car out of the driveway, and neither of us could because we realized that there was an invisible sky bison blocking the path like some sort of huge Snorlax, only with an arrow, and I didn’t have a Pokéflute on my person. Well, at least I had a good excuse for not going to school that day. Right, Mrs. B? Exactly.
This explains why Aang was so angry during 211. It’s not as if Appa was actually missing; he was just invisible and didn’t know how to turn back, hence the Avatar’s extreme anger. Then Appa got lost and wandered away, and that is what caused Aang to go Avatar State. Aanger management classes, yip yip!
It all makes perfect sense. Next time Appa mysteriously disappears for an episode, we know he’s still there. He’s just being a ninja.
Figure 19
Note: I love how Aang uses the ice breath thing twice in this episode, but I wish he could have used it more. I can recall only one other time anyone in the entire show used ice breath, which is a shame, because I sure as Spirit World know Korra won’t use, hot-headed as she is. You could probably roast a turkey off of her recklessness, and it would taste fine.
Aang and Bumi successfully commandeer the latter’s own coffin and enter in a Mario Kart race with Azula, who is plainly cheating. At least no one is throwing bananas, though, which is a bit of a plus . . . I think. Finally, team Big Baang is the winner, when Bumi gets the Earthbending Master power-up and spontaneously flings them across the last little bit.
In the meantime, Azula, who is just like that, has obviously stopped and is currently having tea with Fire Lord Ozai, explaining that she couldn’t possibly continue to race against the Avatar, as he had clearly won and gotten himself across the finish, the whole shebaang [snickers and finds herself transported to the gutter . . . monkeyfeathers].
Ozai: “This tea is strange, Azula. Did you put something in it?”
Azula: “My, no, dear, there was nothing in the tea. It was in the brownies.”
In the meantime, Aang and Bumi are having a similar conversation.
Bumi: “Blah blah blah random spiritual nonsense about fighting the fans have never heard before.”
Aang: “Yadda yadda yadda unlike in 219, I actually know about jings, so the viewer can just sit there and do whatever he wants except understand.”
Bumi: “Wah wah wah you will find a good Earthbending teacher who won’t be the creepy old man in the group but who will in fact be a suitable addition to a team made of small children.”
Aang: “Oh, good. Who gets to ship with her?”
Bumi: “I didn’t say it would be a her.”
Aang: “But it has to be a her, or Katara will be the token female, and Avatar can’t have that.”
Bumi: “Hnnah, uh, stop reading the script.”
Aang: [pulls out a paintbrush dripping with red paint] “Read it? I fix it!”
Bumi: “. . .”
Aang: “Just because Katara and I don’t ship until the finale doesn’t mean we can’t have a few extra kisses on the way. I’m sure she won’t mind the, mm, additions.”
Bumi: “I’m leaving now. Remember to wait for a tough girl who listens, then strikes. Also, we need to check off a few demographic check-boxes, and in animation it always easier to do blind people instead of deaf people or mute people, which are difficult. But blind people? Nah, you just have to show her staring off into space, which is easier to do than focusing her gaze, and remember to reference her blindness in the script, especially on episodes revolving around her. See how easy it is?”
Aang: “I . . . I never really thought about that like that . . . but now that you mention it . . .”
Figure 20
While the rest of the world goes, “Is the episode over?” the faangirls are screaming d’awwwwww.
Originally, I gave this episode a 1. It’s okay, but in terms of rewatchability? I don’t think so.
I’m still working on that redone episode listing, like I promised. I made that list before I joined the Wiki. My views have changed much—very much.
See you next time!
~The Avatar Demotivator
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