| Avatar Wiki Chronicles: On Bad Internet Connections With Bad Timing|
Minnichi - Editor
As a quick recap of my previous intro to this, I thought it was fitting to have an occasional mini-series to go with the other crazy things in the White Lotus Sentinel. The only thing left that our fanon-obsessed newsletter is missing...is a fanon! Though I honestly wouldn't count this one seriously, considering the formality xD
Anyway, here's the next account of daily life at Avatar Wiki, presented story-style by your rambling, Dai Li-neighborhood-crazy-pal-slash-author, Minnichi.
A.W. Chronicles #2
An unnamed girl stalks through her university, yawning with eyes like a zombie panda. She has long black hair and brown irises, and she wants sleep. However, her determined expression seems to indicate that there is something left to do, something that will never quite be finished...and she checks her school's Wi-Fi connection.
As soon as she types in her student ID and passcode for access, the world transforms. Thunder and dramatic lightning breaks apart the sky, and it's replaced by an endless, cloudy haze of beige. The girl observes the change that warps everything around her into an breathtaking array of asian architecture-inspired towers, forming a bizarre world collectively known as "Avatar Wiki"...
And oh, that girl has a name now: Minnichi.
Today, it's really tempting for Minnichi to lay down somewhere and take a nap. She's had about 2 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours - not that anyone in the world of Avatar Wiki can tell, of course. For some reason, it's almost like they only consider her actual words and their meaning whenever she talks. She could be standing there half-dead with a black eye for all they know, but alas, only words contribute to your existence and reputation on Avatar Wiki.
But the girl in dark green robes knows that she can't be disappearing randomly from the Wiki. Not today. If she falls asleep, after all, she'll find herself mysteriously teleported out of this world faster than the blink of an eye. (Again, words = existence. Lack of words does the opposite.) Today, she's been called to work on the newest issue of the Ba Sing Se Times newsletter - well either that, or the editor-in-chief just wants to share a few cackles with the staff over his newest monopoly plan. Whatever it is, Minnichi knows that he prefers punctual deputy editors.
...The only problem is that the internet connection seems unstable today.
Minnichi can tell that the Wi-Fi's no good from the way the beige sky flickers dangerously, with lots of static and strobe-like patterns that look like they could induce a seizure if observed for too long. And of course...it's kind of hard to miss the effects it has on Minnichi herself. She tries to avoid gazing down at her arms, which flash in and out of existence just like the sky. Every once in a while she can actually see straight through herself, like a faint transparent green. The girl begins to panic as she runs as fast as she can towards the BSST office. In the distance, it's a three-part building separated according to the duties of the three staff members, the center of which clearly showing off KMP's liking for shadowy watch towers.
What she dreads most happens right as she makes out the blurry shape of her fellow deputy editor, WaterbenderTaikai, cheerfully waving at her in greeting. With a loud, fizzy sound similar to that of a malfunctioning electrical circuit, Avatar Wiki flashes before her eyes like a broken TV screen - and then it's gone.
Gasping, the unnamed student comes to with a jolt inside of her university. She snaps her head about as if to confirm that she's back in her drab science environment, then furiously clicks at the internet configuration settings in her laptop. As usual, there was no identifiable cause for the interruption; the Wi-Fi just sucks. Taikai's probably standing back at the wiki, his hand still raised in mid-greeting as he raises a brow at the empty space she just occupied. Brilliant... So much for being on time for the newsletter staff meeting!
However, this isn't even the worst of it.
For the only thing worse than an unstable internet connection...is one that lands you back on a completely random page. This is especially true for university internet services, which seem to have an inability to preserve your previous location after spamming you with their 'Welcome to this totally awesome school' pages when you connect. This very thing happens to Minnichi, and though it's not the first bad connection she's experienced, the Wiki location she ends up in upon her return still changes every time.
Of course, the internet reconnects right as the sleep-deprived girl has decided to give up, call it a day, and go buy junk food. She's reaching into her backpack for her wallet as the laptop page suddenly begins to refresh, the white screen glowing ominously. Minnichi's still counting her cash when she's suddenly yanked forward by what seems like an invisible force. She falls onto her face as her body flops, the impact sending ripples through the dark fabric of her green robe. The girl instantly realizes what happened, grumpily peering into the beige-colored sky before straightening up her pointed hat. Luckily she's landed somewhere soft this time; the cushioned green ground beneath her turns out to be a layer of finely-trimmed grass, and she's thankful for it.
Wait...grass. That's definitely not your typical Avatar Wiki scenery. The endless beige surroundings practically scream at the foreign color to begone. And anything that's unusual in a world like Avatar Wiki is always a bad thing, because it takes certain people to cause notably unusual things. Supernatural things. Dangerous, run-for-your-life supernatural things, saved especially for trolls.
Crap - it's an administrator.
Minnichi knows even before the rumbling begins to shake the ground beneath her like an earthquake. The sound is so frightening that she doesn't even bother to remember that she's supposed to be an Earthbender when she jumps to her feet and makes a run for it - not that any Wiki bender of elements can survive the crossfire between an admin and a troll-in-blocking, anyhow. Everyone knows that you should avoid getting involved in these kinds of threads at all costs, once the troll's fate has already been sealed. But the poor girl is suffering a bad internet connection, and something unfathomable activated upon its return that landed her here.
The separate parts of the terrifying scene flash around crazily like a horror movie as she sprints desperately for safety. There's the troll, standing like a defiant little midget only a few feet away from her. He hardly notices her though, because his increasingly frightened eyes are staring straight ahead at Avatar Wiki's most dedicated activity stalker: PSUAvatar14. Said activity stalker is charging with unnatural speed across the long, rectangular field, his freshly-polished football helmet glinting beneath the beige skylight, his massive shoulder pads and gear extremely menacing. In a bizarre way, the golden, rectangular Y of a goalpost actually makes kind of a nice frame behind the little troll. PSU's golden cloud - the magical ones that admins use to float around the Wiki - seems to have stretched and warped to make the metal post, along with his blinding football padding.
Well, not that any of this really matters to the girl in the Dai Li robes, who's going to be trampled flat. You just don't get into the crossfire between an admin and a troll... Which only says more about this girl's luck. She's having a hard time running away, too, since the ground keeps shaking violently and causing her to fall over every few seconds.
PSU sees her scrambling desperately to get out of his path when he's only about three meters away from her, the earth flying up in massive chunks around his charging feet. "HEADS UP, MINN!" he screams, clearly alarmed and horrified at the unexpected sight.
It seems too late by now, with the blocking process having begun and the terrified girl still too close for any hope of avoiding scarring damage. However, what caused this disaster suddenly becomes its savior; right as Minnichi trips and falls again, waiting for her doom, the world flashes crazily with loud static that drowns out every other noise. The failing internet has reduced the girl to a faint, intangible being, and she blinks as PSU charges straight through her ghost-like body. Soon the rest of Avatar Wiki flickers away when her connection severs completely, but not before she catches a glimpse of the troll's departure. The administrator was quick to snap back into things, and Minnichi watches as he throws up the thrashing, defiant user into the air before landing a sharp kick right at the gut. Of course, the punt sends the troll sailing high across the sky, his last terrified yells of rage fading away as he soars perfectly between the two golden arms of the massive goalpost. The scene finally disappears completely from sight after the troll vanishes with a little flash like a twinkling star, and as a scoreboard simultaneously appears in the sky that beeps loudly when the number beneath the admin's symbol, "KFB," jumps up in value.
The unnamed student hits her head on the wall she was leaning against this time, as she jolts back into her own world. She's not too eager to return to the Wiki now, after that traumatizing series of events. She's just beginning to close her laptop to seek a location with better Wi-Fi...but of course, the internet never decides to connect when you want it to.
Minnichi rubs her eyes for a moment and peers around at her surroundings, lifting her hat to see better. She's extremely cautious and skeptical of everything now, as her feet slowly explore the new location. The fuzzy, electrically humming edges of the scene indicate that the internet connection is already starting to weaken again. She doesn't expect to be here long, but she's still careful. However, she relaxes upon seeing the familiar sight of a White Lotus tile, its symbol painted elegantly upon the wall behind the polished desk that she's examining. Upon closer look at the desk, the girl begins to make out the notes on a few scraps of paper, something about an 'Issue 11' and fanon news...
It turns out she should've kept her guard up this whole time.
"I KNEW IT!!!" The tall figure in an expensive black suit is leaping down at her practically ninja-style, his red tie flapping through the air as both his arms swing down with his long, narrow sword.
The girl in emerald robes suddenly whips out her own sword like lightning from somewhere inside her huge sleeves, and the two blades clash and scrape with an impact that sends off blinding sparks. Because, despite everything, Minnichi is always prepared to strike down Omashu Rocks in the White Lotus Sentinel Line War. "Already waiting to ambush me, are you?" she snaps through gritted teeth, her arms shaking to uphold the tension that's preventing his metal blade from killing her.
Mr. Rocks looks like he's straining to get the upper hand as well, the way his usually neat politician-hair is sticking about messily in random streaks of blonde. "I knew you'd try it," he growls back, giving a push of his sword that causes the two blades to screech unpleasantly as they shift across each other. "Sneaking into the office to change everything in the issue to dashed lines right when I told you I'd be gone for two hours? Real clever, Minn."
"I didn't even know you told me that you'd be gone!" Minnichi yells defiantly, pushing back with her own sword. "I've had a crappy internet connection, geez!"
"LIES!" screams the politician, giving a whip of his arms that causes his sword blade to hook beneath hers and fly up with such force that she loses her grip on the handle. Usually this phase of the war lasts much longer, endless if anything; it's really unfortunate that the girl only had 2 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours.
Omashu Rocks points the tip of his blade at her neck with a smug grin, huffing as he speaks. "Solid. Lines."
But Minnichi simply won't have those cheap, fanon scene-separater line codes in the WLS newsletter. Oh, and she's also a Dai Li agent. Which is actually completely relevant when she shoots a hand towards the ground, because the stone shape of her fingers grabs back onto her sword before Mr. Rocks realizes what's happening. He turns his head just in time to see her blade headed straight for his back, the rocky hand guiding it through the air as it prepares to stab. "HEY, that's cheating!" he begins to yell, though it's clearly too late.
Giving a maniacal sound resembling a cackle, Minnichi gives the final thrust of her arm, her hand appearing to be grabbing onto nothing and swinging through empty air. It's the earthen hand and the sword blade that mimics her movements perfectly as the metal tip drives itself straight through Omashu Rocks' body.
As Mr. Rocks gives a horrified yell, what the girl in the Dai Li robes doesn't realize is that the world has already begun to fizz up with static again. Lots of it. It's been building up for a while, actually... But it's not until now that the internet connection becomes lame enough for Minnichi's transparent sword to pass uselessly through its target without making a single mark.
Of course, Omashu Rocks also realizes what's happened by now. He suddenly stands upright, lowers his sword to the ground, and takes a long look at his co-editor's hovering blade in the air, which has begun to flicker in and out of existence. Then he starts laughing hysterically. It's like he's trying to say something, but he's just so overcome with laughter that he simply clutches his abdomen as he hunches over with choking sounds.
Minnichi is enraged as she charges forward, swinging a fist that flies uselessly through his head. "Why, you - DANGIT! AGHHH! Stupid - useless - kill - lines - hate..." At first it seems like she's too angry to speak normally, but upon closer inspection it's actually the horrible internet connection garbling up her words.
Mr. Rocks can plainly see this too, as he amusedly watches her fading body distort and crackle with static. "Huh, what's that?" he calls purposely loud, lifting his hands around his mouth as if to yell to someone a hundred feet away. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, Minn! Guess I'll just have to take care of the issue this time!" The girl looks like she's flailing wildly to attack him, though she's barely visible by now. She catches one last glance at him holding up the draft of the new WLS issue, waving it cheerfully in front of her as he points to its solid lines.
As she jolts back up in the midst of her cursed university, the unnamed student gives a horrible scowl as she slams her laptop shut. No more of this. Stupid connection! She stands back up and tosses her backpack over her shoulder, trudging her way towards the school's parking lot to begin journeying to a place with better Wi-Fi.
Of course, she secretly knows that there are much worse things that can come out of Avatar Wiki... But for now, she just needs to find a freaking stable internet connection. She decides it's best just to focus on that. For now.