NOTICE: This review is inaccurate. The content of this fanon was taken largely from the works of , who should be given credit for the majority of praises in this blog. I commend TAD for her excellent writing and encourage any author reading this to refrain from plagiarism.
- Plot - 8.8: It's a very emotional and nicely crafted story, that's for sure. I would say that the plot moves a little too fast, though, and this begins to affect other areas of the writing (that will be discussed below). Also, I would advise Acer not to make certain elements too perfect/evil at times. What I mean is that there can be a victim and a wrongdoer, but the two sides become extreme. In the end, victims are still victims and evil people are still evil, but there's so much more to a person's life than just that. It's a little hard to explain, but in general the plot tends to revolve more around how right or wrong something is than it does actual events. This doesn't affect the overall greatness of the plot too much honestly, but it's still a notable area of improvement.
- Organization - 8.0: I had some trouble following each character's POV around the story (and there are many characters!) The scene shifts feel a little choppy, especially when they start jumping by years. I'd say that the author should slow things down a bit to make everything clearer in general, and make it more obvious when there's a drastic change in environment or time. It would really connect the chapters to each other better.
- Creativity – 9.5: I can't list another in-depth Freedom Fighter fanon off the top of my head. Acer's really taking a creative leap of faith by putting together a story that attempts to explain just how the group was formed and by letting us see everything from the very beginning. Impressive!
- Writing – 7.0 (x3): I'm not going to score my own grammar editing in this case. The last few chapters, however, are yet to be edited and still reflect how English is not Acer's main language. However, my priority of writing evaluation is the effect on the reader, and whatever causes a major effect may not necessarily be grammar. On his own, Acer writes well enough to present us a unique and interesting story that we can understand, and I applaud him for that. My deduction here comes from the patterns I see in descriptions and choppiness. Acer starts off every scene with breathtaking visuals of the setting, but there are times when they don't flow too well with the events. Many times there are characters speaking, and suddenly a lengthy description of the setting will appear in the middle of their conversation. I see a lack of combination between the characters' actions and the setting, in short. Instead of telling the readers more details of what the scene looks like, it's better to incorporate the characters into the actual scene instead so that the story keeps going. The settings almost interrupt the story the way they're presented currently. Incorporation can often include an add-on to a sentence describing a character. For instance, they could be "looking at the red setting sun" as they talk, or they could be training "in the pitch darkness of the damp, smelly cave." Just don't have them doing something at one point and then suddenly describe the scenery at the next. Also, I could use a little more clarity, or maybe a little introduction for each time shift to really let the reader know when and where things are happening currently. Just a little more elaboration on what's going on before jumping too quickly into dialogue would really help. All of these things would improve the overall flow of the story and contribute to a reader's understanding.
- Character Development - 6.5 (x2) The characters' actions are described a little more than their personalities. Outside of their dialogue, we don't know much about them. I'd like to see more attention to their inner emotions, and less of their outside reactions. In addition, each character has a very vague physical description, even omitted sometimes for minor characters. The major characters usually don't have much of the problems I just listed, though. Still, I haven't seen much growth in their character as of now or exactly how their tragedies have altered their personalities. Their interactions with each other are quite emotional though, and they lead very interesting lives for readers to follow!
- Action - 8.0: Bending in this fanon is usually started off with a character actually saying the command "(insert element)bend!" I think it'd be a lot better to just show the reader what they're doing, and having the character name it isn't necessary. Also, while they "bent a rock wall" or "threw a boulder," it's important to remember how that happened. What're they doing with their bodies to make the elements behave that way? Just stating that someone bent earth will produce endless possibilities that the reader has to figure out. So replacing the "bend" command with the action that actually causes the element to move will definitely visualize action scenes a lot more clearly and make things less confusing overall. But Acer certainly knows how to liven up a story with his action! Gripes aside, I quite enjoyed the fight scenes.
- Believability – 9.0: I could see the Freedom Fighters forming this way. Yup, pretty believable. The only thing I'd ask for here is that the actual formation (as in literal "Hey what should we call this group?") scenes be described a little more. There could be more elaboration on what inspired the characters to name their team what they did, or what led them to decide that destroying Fire Nation-occupied towns is okay. They just seem to pick up the whole Freedom Fighter idea a little too quickly and easily in my opinion.