Hey everyone, this is Minnichi signing in her first official review! I’m very glad that this was the first fanon I would review, too, because it was a very enjoyable experience ^^ Here’s my commentary on Sons and Daughters by Mageddon725
Sons and Daughters is a pre-LoK fanon chronicling the adventures of the children of Team Avatar in Republic City. It will feature the rise of the Equalists and the Pro Bending Circuit. Set over two decades after AaBE, it is a bridge between that fanon and the highly anticipated Legend of Korra.
Mage has produced an engaging and action-packed fanon, and I feel that it’s an almost perfect sequel to the original Gaang’s adventures. There are tons of characters here and a very impressive and believable grasp of them all. I was glued to the fanon and have viewed it from an apartment on the other side of the world, bus stops, train stops, zoos, and finally on an overseas flight back home (Kindle is an amazing app!) Point being, even while on vacation I still found it worthwhile to stick around and read constantly. It’s a pretty darn good fanon!
- Plot - 9.0: Any deduction here is mostly because much of the story is based on a plot that already exists (Equalist terrorism), but that really can’t be helped in this case. Mage incorporated the children of the Gaang into the Republic City setting very nicely. I do have to point out that I spotted a number of predictable moments, though, but plot overall is still pretty solid.
- Organization - 9.5: Anyone can tell that this wasn’t a fanon written on a whim, or that chapters are created just for the heck of it. This author clearly knows what’s going to happen for many chapters to come, most likely to the end of the fanon itself, and I like that. This type of planning makes a very smooth flow of events, which is always a great thing. My only gripe is the slight choppiness that occurs when jumping back and forth between different POVs.
- Creativity – 8.7: As I said, this story relies heavily on the plot that already exists in the canon series, though Mage does a wonderful job of adding his own twist to many things. So the idea itself might not be very original, but the incorporation of extra elements (such as the Spirit World crisis) is pure genius.
- Writing – 8.2 (x3): Mage has very little grammar mistakes, but the few that are present consistently appear in every chapter. What I noticed most, though, was a lack of dialogue description. Maybe it’s my personal preference, but I wanted to see those specific words of speech (e.g. “said, scoffed, yelled, cried, laughed, etc etc”), and there are virtually none whenever someone’s talking. Mage writes well enough so that you can already tell how the person sounds as they’re speaking, but it’s that extra description that really kicks in the visuals of the conversion. On that note, visuals also seemed to be lacking whenever it came to character descriptions and setting. There are so many characters, and I forgot how they looked like after the first. So overall, what I’d like to see most is a clearer image of everything. Just to make things livelier. That said, however, I’m still very impressed by the level of writing in this fanon. Mage has talent!
- Character Development - 8.8 (x2) There certainly is character development in this story, but I feel like it can be a little simple at times, or not much change in growth. This is probably due to the overwhelming number of OCs that Mage has to keep up with, but looking only at the main cast I’d say maybe explore their personalities deeper. We have a great idea of their traits, no doubt, but I noticed that the information is usually passed only through dialogue. We don’t really get a glimpse of the personality first-hand that often, as in the characters’ separate POVs, and I think that also deters their development. That aside, I still love the OCs and their separate quirks. They have very colorful personalities that react differently to every situation, and it’s always interesting to read.
- Action - 9.3: There’s action in just about every chapter, and it’s a very powerful and exciting wake-me-up for any reader. However, I would beware of the repetition in many of the fight scenes. I usually don’t think too much on it if a word appears twice in a scene, but in this case many were repeated in two sentences right next to each other and sometimes even in the same sentence. I’d say find synonyms for words of action so that it stays fresh (e.g. particularly “beeline” and “fire blast”) Another thing that I believe would help is if the weapons used are described from time to time. I had to look up “shikkar” and “shotos” at some point because I was having trouble visualizing them. The reader will identify most weapons easily, but adding extra commentary on their appearance will both reduce repetition and add more clarity.
- Believability – 9.8: Pretty darn believable. Not much to say here. Maybe once or twice I thought Aang got upset too easily, but overall I could really see this all happening. Great story development in this area!
Overall Score: 8.85
My advice for Mageddon725: Basically just add to any image-related descriptions and keep repeating words on the low, and you’re good to go! Great job on the fanon otherwise.
Who should read Sons and Daughters? Honestly I think anyone who likes the show should just go ahead and read this. It’s really believable and still features our favorite Gaang. You won’t regret it!