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Fanon Reviews: "Teru" and "Our Story"

Millennia2 November 24, 2011 User blog:Millennia2

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FRSimage
This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!

Avatar The Legend of Teru

Our two reviews today are Avatar: The Legend of Teru and Our Story. We'll start off this evening with Teru by former fanon admin Rassilon of Old

Overview: Ba Sing Se has been shocked by the recent and mysterious killings happening at night, to a point where the public sees it unsafe to go outside once night falls. One old woman, Mrs Hakiru, decides to ignore the advice of her peers, and remains within her resturant beyond the veil of night. The next day, her lifeless body is found in the foyer of her resturant, with a note scratched into the wooden floors reading. "Ba Sing Se will fall."

Script: 9.4/10

Story: Teru is thoughtful, ingenious, intriguing, entertaining. I'm slightly ashamed at myself for not reading it sooner. 9.5/10

Keeps You Reading: Though the chapters are a decent length and quite detailed, I had no problem continuing. Teru certainly has a degree of intrigue that keeps you curious and ready for more. 9.4/10

Character Development/Representation: Characters are extremely easy to imagine with their seperate personalities, appearances, voices, etc. Well done Rass. 9.4/10

Action: Well described and written. 9.3/10

General Writing: The writing was amazing from the beginning. Is there room to improve? I can tell you now I had trouble thinking of areas that could be better. It's sad that only two chapters are left. 9.5/10

Overall: 9.4/10

Hama's village

Now onto to Our Story, a collaborative writing project headed by Omashu Rocks and BlackMonkey and assisted by 15 other authors:

Overview: 1 AG Avatar Roku has been dead for twelve years. The next Avatar perished with the rest of the Air Nomads when Fire Lord Sozin destroyed each of the Air Temples by harnessing the energy of a powerful comet. Now, the Fire Nation military has begun drafting. Most of the men of the small village of Sakiya have been deployed to Earth Kingdom to fight in a war they do not believe in. The drafting has left the town without leadership, without hunters, and without protection. The town's elder, Munni, has stepped up to a leadership role. He tries to keep the peace of Sakiya in tact despite of new threats like the Thieves of the West. With Admiral Ji Qing constantly disrupting the tranquility of Sakiya, and Fire Lord Sozin engaging the world in the worst conflict in history, the small town finds itself in the middle of massive chaos.

Story The idea itself of a work put together by the general fanon community is clever. The story is unique and is well put together. 9.4/10

Script It is written well enough that there is no real lapse between the different writers, but then again I don't know how the chapters are created. There is room for improvement, like when it notes a letter sent from the admiral to the Fire Lord that sounds, well, not very official or professional. Parts of it sound more like a child's letter than a report about the unruly villagers and a request for their execution. 9.0/10

Keeps You Reading: It tends to slow down a bit in places. Cliffhangers are left at the end of the occasional chapter, but it could use a little something more to keep readers around. 9.1/10

Character Development/Representation This is pretty well done. It is easy to imagine the power maddened admiral or the frightened villagers. 9.2/10

Action Well described. Enough to make the reader understand what is being done. 9.2/10

General Writing To give a grade on 17 different author's seperate writing styles and talents is...well, difficult. I will say that the story is high quality and the story is well thought out. The script is good too, though it could be a little better in places. Characters are easy to imagine and well represented. Overall, it is a good story, though not at the full potential it could be. 9.4/10

Overall: 9.3/10

Next Review: The Adventures of Team Avatar

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