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Today's review is The Adventures of Omar, by.
It tells the story of a boy named Omar that lives in modern-day Earth. One fateful day, he is somehow teleported to the World of Avatar, and awakens in The Southern Water Tribe. He is rescued by Avatar Korra, who is learning Waterbending and has yet to learn the bending disciplines of earth, or fire. Omar travels with her as she learns the elements, and then, their adventure begins...
Script: Good for a new fanon, though there is room for improvement. One thing that always helps a script is good editing and grammar. 8.5/10
Story: Quite imaginative and original. Nothing to suggest here. 8.7/10
Keeps You Reading: The story is quite interesting. I would suggest breaking up the chapters into paragraphs for easier reading. 8.4/10
Creativity: A boy taken from Earth and thrust into the Avatar World as a bender? Nope, haven’t heard of that yet :) 9.3/10
Action: Very well described. I don’t really have anything to suggest here other than always push yourself, think of ways you can better the action. Well done though, keep it up. 8.9/10
Character Development: It felt a little rushed. I would suggest taking a little time to get to know the character. It felt like Omar just suddenly appeared. Your work on Korra is better in my opinion, keep up the good work. 8.2/10
General Writing: Good for a beginning story, but it could use a little work. I find that editing is key. Look for spelling errors, grammar, improper word use, etc. A good editor is very helpful, andis doing a great job. I also would suggest breaking up the chapter into paragraphs so it doesn’t look like one big mass of words. 8.3/10