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here on this fine Wednesday. Today was the PSAT, and thus I don't really have any homework and a couple extra hours. Fun!
First off, I'd like to start by saying that the less popular a fanon is, the more it warms my heart to review it--other than giving advice, I really believe that reviews are a wonderful device for less known fanfics. Maybe it's just because none of my fanons have ever really been popular, but I really feel a connection with the lesser-known ones.by follows the story of the splitting of the Water Tribe into the North and South and some other stuff.
- Mistakes/Grammar: 7.7 The grammar was pretty solid, but there were some deadly errors in there. I couldn't help but notice some problems with subject-verb agreement (to use my SAT language!), as well as a couple of other grammar hiccups. I can't tell if they're typos or not, but either way they are mistakes and grammar, and thus they must be acknowledged.
- General Writing: 6.5 Overall, I wasn't too much a fan of the writing. It did what it had to, but honestly it didn't do too much more than that for me. Most of the sentences were pretty simple, and there wasn't too much interesting vocabulary or anything of the sort which really caught my eye.
Writing Score: 7.1... C-
- Story: 8.3 As far as the story goes, I really enjoyed it. Writing and some other issues aside, I really feel like this is an interesting idea to dive into. Finn does a pretty good job of putting his thoughts and ideas into words--I can almost feel this playing out like a TV show despite my problems with the writing. However, there were a couple of problems I had with generic-ness in the plot, like some overused ideas here and there. But not too bad.
- Characters/Character Development: 7.3 I never really found myself growing attached to the characters. Like the writing, they did what they had to do for the story, but I never really felt that special connection with any of them. They fit well into the story and were decently developed, but I would have liked it if the characters were a bit less generic and a bit more human, if that makes sense.
- Genre (Adventure): 8.5 I really got the adventure-y vibe from this one. Following the Avatar as he goes about his business is always a good plot for adventure, and for the first time in a while I really do feel the author has accurately categorized his fanon. Some overall issues I had with the writing which carried over here caused a few point deductions, but overall I really enjoyed it.
Content Score: 8.0... B-
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 9.1 As far as I know, no one has ever really gone into this before. It's such an obvious thing to write about, but at the same time it's not since it's never been done before! It'd be a good addition to the canon, and is a good addition to the fanon portal here.
- Believability: 7.8 Events-wise, I think any of this could have happened. My biggest problem with believability is in the dialogue. Lots of it sounded forced, almost, which really detracted from the overall value. I just didn't think that the characters would realistically say what they did say most of the time.
Content Quality Score: 8.5... B
Overall Score: 7.9... C+
My advice for WaterMasterFinn: Be sure to edit closely. I saw that you're your own editor, so just really keep an eye out for subject-verb agreement. If this term is confusing, it's basically just when the subject (noun) and the verb go together, including tenses, plural, etc. Other than that, I'd say maybe take a step back to look at your characters a bit, maybe roll around some of their lines in your head to make sure that they really do seem like something that the character would say, instead of something that you want them to say. It might sound creepy, but characters really should have a mind of their own and take over a bit when you're writing. Trust me, if you give them the steering wheel a bit more, your fanon will improve exponentially.
What sort of person would enjoy The Water Tribes? It's a good little fanon--anyone who likes stories about past Avatars or anything really along those lines.