here for another review. I'd like to say that I actually had this review on time despite the late posting. My computer was fudging up, and so I read Angkara on my lovely Windows Phone and then typed the review... on my dad's manuel typewriter.
Anyway, I was really excited about readingby after being so pleasantly surprised by his other fanon I reviewed last. But... I don't know how to sugar coat this: Angkara was a real let-down for how good Political Animals was. And I'm going to tell you why.
- Mistakes/Grammar: 7.3 There were a lot of typos and grammatical mistakes. Lots of end punctuation mistakes, which is one of my ultimate pet peeves (i.e. having a period instead of a question mark). Then, there were some grammar mistakes and overall errors that just made the writing seem as if it were hastily done. I don't know if it was, but that was how the mistakes made it come off.
- General Writing: 7.9 The writing style was pretty repetitive, with lots of sentences just starting with pronouns, and though the descriptions seem really fancy with some excellent vocabulary, they all were--in their essence--the same in structure. Like I said, though, I adore OR's vocabulary here.
Writing Score: 7.6... C
- Story: 9.3 I like the story, though. It's engaging, thoughtful, original, everything I like in a fanon.
- Characters/Character Development: 8.2 I was not a fan of the characters here. Most of them seemed like stereotypical examples of a certain personality, and I didn't really get too much depth to any of them, besides what seems forced by the character type. Though OR does do a good job of having a balanced cast, and even if the individual characters aren't wonderful, they come together as a whole very nicely.
- Genre (Advent... Action): 9.5 As I mentioned in a review a little while ago, I review the genre I find most prevalent. I love, love, love OR's action writing. It's simple, and too the point, but not too underdescriptive that the scene doesn't make sense. Kudos, bro.
Content Score: 9.0... A-
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 9.0 I can't say I've ever seen this sort of a premise for a fanon. I like the mixture of the slightly overused rebel setting with the political undertone, it provides an extremely intriguing fanon which I look forward to seeing continue. My only complaint, however, is that a lot of the development and premise are a bit stereotypical/not entirely creative. For example, when Shen was dropped off I was kinda thinking Harry Potter and expecting Ohk to see a half-giant riding away on a flying motorcycle.
- Believability: 7.2 ... I thought that a lot of the fanon was too rushed. A lot of the progressing of events weren't very realistic, as it seemed to kind of tumble forward rather than develop in a way that makes sense. I was going to have this for a deduction of the story, but I felt that wasn't fair since so much else of the story was awesome. Further, I thought that some of the dialogue was kinda sketchy and not entirely believable, but that goes more into my problems with the characters.
Content Quality Score: 8.1
Overall Score: 8.2... B-
My advice for OmashuRocks: Get an editor, friend. That's my biggest advice. There were a lot of stupid typos, such as the end punctuation slips (of which there were quite a few), and that is what I think editors are for: picking up the tiny typos so you don't have to read through carefully (I hope my editor doesn't see this, haha). Then, I'd just say pull back a bit. I know you were planning this for a while, and from experience from having planned something I'm writing for a while, it's really hard to not rush forwards. But trust me, if you take about twice as long as you'd think you should to get from point A to point B, your fanon will seem a lot more thoughtful and a lot less hasty.
What sort of person would enjoy The House of Angkara? Anyone who is interested in a decent read, or someone looking for what I foresee as a long commitment to a fanon ^_^