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MibuWolf signing on a lot later then normal. I'm really falling off the horse when it comes to my reviews these days.
The Chronicles of Avatar: The Freedom Fighters}} byfollows the story of several young adults whom we all know and love: the Freedom Fighters... but before they met the Avatar!
- Mistakes/Grammar: 5.0 There were a lot of very jarring mistakes. The grammar was pretty solid throughout, so I must give Acer Indonesia props. I did not notice a single grammar error. But there were a ton of typos. Several tense shifts--and not in the middle of paragraphs like most mistakes, but in the middle of sentences, even--among other typos. One mistake which stands out the most to me is in the second chapter when a character calls Mei Li (another character) "crap". Judging from the fact that Acer rated this fanon "PG", I'm assuming this was not an intentional mistake. Among that, there were some other awkward typos, several of which detracted from the whole meaning of the sentence/plot. Mistakes are worst when they hinder the reader from getting the full meaning. And that's how several of these mistakes were.
- General Writing: 7.4 I actually rather liked the writing as a whole. Though I'm not the biggest John Steinbeck fan, his style of setting up the nature and scenery before introducing the actual plot is always very good, and Acer does a good job of using a similar style at the beginning of each scene. Now, this might just be because my computer was randomly highlighting the words "sky", "cloud", and "air", but several phrases seemed like they were used repeatedly, but this didn't detract too much (my computer also was highlighting "old man" and "kitchen", but these were much more infrequent, haha). Other than that, sentences seemed to follow pretty redundant sentence structures, but this didn't detract too much from the overall effect. There are some very, very powerful descriptions in there which add a lot to the story.
Writing Score: 6.2... D-
- Story: 7.8 The whole story just seemed rather fast paced. I felt like I was rushed into the time jump, and never really given a chance to look at the characters and really connect with them at the pace the story was moving. Overall, I liked the story but I would have liked a chance to sit back a bit. One of the first story-lines with Lostri really reminded me of a part of Les Miserables, but at the pace the story moved I never really got a chance to appreciate it. Maybe it's just a taste I've acquired in literature, but I like books to pull back a bit and give readers a chance to connect to some characters and ideas before moving on to the next ones. All that said, though, I really do like the plot otherwise I wouldn't be so upset at it's pacing, haha. It really shows a side to the characters that we wouldn't have seen otherwise.
- Characters/Character Development: 6.9 Having the characters named after so many people in the Wiki community was rather distracting at times. Rather than envision the characters, I often found myself imagining the person in that position. Which in the case of Lostri and Annawan in particular was rather distracting. Further, save the main couple of characters the side characters weren't looked into too much. We didn't know why certain characters were doing what they were doing, it just kind of hurried along.
- Genre (Adventure): 8.6 I got a decent amount of adventure-vibes along the way. Not too much to say here: it was solid and not overly spectacular in any way or anything.
Content Score: 7.8... C+
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 8.3 Back-story fanfictions never seem like the most creative idea, and this is coming from someone who is writing one, haha. However, there are enough interesting plot turns that really pull this fanfiction out of the massive, never-ending mound of fanfictions and make it something that is really worth reading.
- Believability: 6.5 There's no way for me to sugarcoat this. I didn't buy it. First of all, the names are rather unbelievable in the Avatar Universe. Second, some tidbits seemed a bit unbelievable, particular how you cast Longshot in the series. I'm hoping he'll develop to his quite character sometime soon, but thus far he has not. Then, in the last chapter, with the presents... I didn't buy it.
Content Quality Score: 7.4... C
Overall Score: 7.2... C-
My advice for Acer Indonesia: So here's my advice for
Acer Indonesia Minnichi, Annawantimes, Suzon, Iceland77, and Henryjh98: actually read the fanon chapters. There's no way for me to be nice in saying this, but it seems very unlikely that writers of the skill level I know you all have would miss such obvious typos as I caught in my once-through for the review. And quite honestly, there is absolutely no reason a fanon with five editors should be getting a five out of ten in mistakes. Then, my advice for Acer is just to pull out a bit. Like, with Smellerbee you could have extended her joining of the Freedom Fighters over several chapters instead of rushing it in one. Just pull back a bit--I know one is always excited to get their thoughts on paper, but drawing things out a bit will really help.
What sort of person would enjoy The Chronicles of Avatar: The Freedom Fighters? It's a pretty good story for anyone who likes the Freedom Fighters we all know and love, anyone who likes back-stories, and pretty much anyone looking for a good story of adventure and camaraderie.