MibuWolf signing on with the special "I-got-distracted-catching-up-on-Bleach-manga-chapters" review. Sorry for being a day late.
by follows the story of young Jong as he escapes confinement adventures throughout the world in a story occurring parallel to that of the original Team Avatar.
- Mistakes/Grammar: 9.5 For the most part, there are very few writing errors. With Azulazulazula's writing style, much of sentence structure rules can be ignored, however there are some punctuation errors, mostly awkward periods that would still have the write voice and flow as commas.
- General Writing: 9.0 I apologize ahead of time, but recently I've been kind of cranky as far as writing goes. I absolutely adore repetition, which Azulazulazula utilizes beautifully. However, as my English teacher might say, anything in excess is a bad thing. About half-way through the third chapter, Azulazulazula's wonderful repetition started to grind along. It wasn't that he had decreased in skill as a writer, rather it was simply that the repetition wasn't new anymore. Despite this, I thought that the mixture of short sentences and short chapters complimented each other very nicely, and for that reason the writing score was still fairly high.
Writing Score: 9.3... A
- Story: 8.7 The story was quite intriguing. Beyond my issues with the writing, I did find that I was truly interested in what would happen next. The reader gets to see a whole unseen side of the series, but not so that we know everything that is going to happen in the events of the fanon.
- Characters/Character Development: 6.8 I felt the character development was one of the most lacking aspects of the fanon. Mostly because it was all so rushed. With the shorter chapters, I felt developing characters and relationship should span over several chapters for each development, but rather there seemed to be a hurried advancement in every chapter. In addition, I never really felt a special connection to any of the characters. They were the run-of-the-mill hero with a tragic background who meets and bounds with the heroine.
- Genre (Adventure): 9.0 As an adventure should be, we literally travel throughout the world with the main character, journeying--though with no clear purpose--throughout life.
Content Score: 8.2... B-
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 7.7 It might be because my first fan fiction ever was of a similar plot, but at least in my opinion, following another character throughout the events of a particular series seems like a straight-forward choice for a fan fiction. The characters aren't all that special, and there's no real creative aspect that leaps out at me. However, I do like that Azulazulazula doesn't follow an obvious course of events for a story--had I written it, it would simply be a regurgitation of the heroic cycle, but Azulazulazula does take things into a new light.
- Believability: 7.2 In all honesty, there was very little that I truly believed. As mentioned above, the events and character developments seemed rushed. Also, I don't know if I'm missing something, but the rate at which he travels seems rather unbelievable.
Content Quality Score: 7.5... C
Overall Score: 8.3... B
My advice for Azulazulazula: Honestly, my problems with your writing is in your style, so I won't ask you to change that. However, I am going to put a major emphasis on character development. It may seem awkward while you're writing, but I'd recommend putting in several chapters of pure character development. Trust me, it will pay off once you're done.
What sort of person would enjoy Rebel? Anyone looking for a series showing what we didn't see in the original series. Or, for that matter, anyone who just wants to read a decent adventure or drama story.