back, on her pride as a Quincy getting these reviews done. So in between this review and the last one, I watched U-KISS's new music video about half a dozen times. Why is this relevant? It's not. Anyway, I found myself leaning forward, and forward, and forward... and then I fell out of my chair, smacked my face on the edge of my desk and got the wind knocked out of me. Hope I didn't split a lip... In case you haven't guessed, I'm not getting much sleep of late.
by is about love... in a parallel universe where the Kyoshi Warriors and Freedom Fighters meet and shipping.
- Mistakes/Grammar: 6.2 There were a fair amount of typos in there. In the first chapter alone, I counted three different spelling of Smellerbee: the correct one, Smelerbee, and Snellerbee. At least for me, I had a hard time focusing on the grammar of the fan fiction considering the sheer amount of typos that were prevalent throughout. And they weren't even "good" typos (by this I mean mistakes that are a misunderstanding of spelling or grammar, don't know why they're "good"), most of them were just hand slips. It just seems like it was all written in a bit of a hurry.
- General Writing: 6.8 The writing was really dialogue and thought heavy, with not a whole lot of action description. I'm not sure if that is a thing with romance writing or anything, but I found it a bit hard to follow. Eventually I caught on to what was happening, but I would have preferred a writing style with less dialogue and more descriptions. All of the descriptors that were there were pretty simple, with the basic "subject action" sentence structure that kinda drives me crazy (which only has one Z despite what my hands want to type).
Writing Score: 6.5... D
- Story: 6.6 I didn't get much of a story, other than the basics. I guess the shipping was good, but there wasn't too much of an interesting storyline above the shipping.
- Characters/Character Development: 7.2 The character development was there, but I felt like it was really sporadic and not really detailed or developing enough to be development. I don't know if that makes any sense. It probably doesn't. I make more sense before midnight. Anyway, it seemed like too many characters developed based upon what was convenient for the writer rather than what would realistically happen. Not sure if that makes sense, again.
- Genre (Romance): 6.7 I don't really like the lovey dovey stuff. It's why I don't go on fanfiction.net very much. You can have shipping with a plot other than shipping, despite all the Hetalia yaoi fanfictions which might convince you otherwise. Also, this might just be because my friends have ruined my innocence, but was there some implied G.O.G.A. (Girl-on-Girl-Action) in there??? I don't really like that sort of thing, so it was a bit distracting to me... For all these reasons described, it was incredibly difficult for me to review this category with an unbiased view. I guess the relationships were kinda realistic, though most romances feel so unrealistic and romanticized (for lack of a better word). Romance is not easy, not always mutual, and definitely not fast AND deep--most romance fanfics ignore this. Wow, I really sound like a grump xD (it's probably because I'm wearing my grumpy sweater)
Content Score: 6.8... D+
Content Quality CategoriesEdit
- Creativity: 7.0 I don't think shipping fanons are very creative... I guess these aren't the most common ships, and there are some OCs, but... yeah.
- Believability: 7.0 It's an AU, which defies laws of believability. For this reason, I just kind of gave it the same score as above, which is decent for the believability. Other than my problems with the realism, or more accurately lack thereof, of shipping fanons, I guess this all could be pretty believable.
Content Quality Score: 7.0
Overall Score: 6.8... D+Edit
My Advice for Snip101: As you can probably tell, shipping fan fictions aren't my favorite xD It was hard to give an accurate review and go beyond my personal views, so besides the writing I wouldn't take too much of it to heart, haha. But with the writing, I think it would benefit from taking a bit more time with everything, with more descriptions and stuff. And then just re-read everything. I always write, read, have someone edit, and then reread again before submitting/publishing, because sometimes mistakes pop up anywhere during those steps. Doing these things will just give your fanon less of a "hurried" vibe which I kind of got from reading it and more of a "professional" vibe, or rather just a class that isn't obtained from writing a whole bunch of chapters as fast as you can.
What sort of person would enjoy Love in a Parallel Universe? Shippers, or people looking for a quick story for some pairs they might like.
- Please note that I do not ever mean to use the term "shippers" or "shipping" derogatorily. When I use the word "shipping" I refer to the simple act of pairing two characters together or "shippers" as people who like multiple pairings, not like the rabid ones most people know. Or sometimes I use these terms when referring to UPS, USPS, or any of their employees.