signing on for another late review. I was going to get it done earlier today, but I kept getting distracted by files I found on my computer including some really good drawings I had forgotten about :O Schemes.
Today, I'm looking atby , a story following the Avatar after Korra in a war torn world...
- Mistakes/Grammar: 6.7 I noticed quite a few typos and grammar mistakes, many of which served to greatly detract from the overall effect of the writing of the work, which was generally pretty good. More than anything else, it looks like an editor was slipping up with missing pretty obvious typos and easy grammar mistakes.
- General Writing: 8.5 Kuir's writing is very, very descriptive, and this was one thing that I particularly enjoyed. However, as the writing got further and further into each chapter, I noticed the creativity in the writing slowly slack off until almost every sentence was starting with "he", "she", or a character's name and not shifting to many other sentence structures other than the simple "subject verb" set-up.
Writing Score: 7.6... C
- Story: 8.9 The plot caught my attention, but I had a bit of an iffy time holding my attention on the piece. It wasn't so much that it was dull as it was that I'd get lost in the clunky descriptions and find that everything had moved forward so much that I had a horrible time trying to figure out what had just happened. That aside, I really enjoyed reading; there were some spots in there that were... rushed/strange, but for the most part it worked out and worked out quite well.
- Characters/Character Development: 8.8 I really liked the characters in this fanon. I didn't feel like any were too Mary-Sue. Whether it's justified or not, I was a tad put off by a character with the same name as the writer, but c'est la vie. My only real complaint with characters was that I felt there were some introduced characters who weren't developed as much as I'd like... but other than than that the character development was steady with the pacing of the story.
- Genre (Adventure): 9.0 Yes... it is an adventure... I liked the traveling around, though I might have appreciated a bit more even of pacing between chapters--every now and again the rate of events proceeding seemed almost... limping, if that makes any sense at all.
Content Score: 8.9... B+
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 8.6 Fanons with a new war aren't the most common thing in the entire world, though I have seen a fair share. That aside, I really did feel like JoT brought something new to the table with its interesting and original cast of characters.
- Believability: 8.4 I'm just not sure if I totally believe that this would happen, though for the most part I felt that the character development and such was pretty believable.
Content Quality Score: 8.5... B
Overall Score: 8.3... B-
My advice for Kuir: My biggest advice would be in the writing. For the most part, I think the other issues will be worked out if you focus in on the writing. First of all, read closely or tell your editor to read closely for stupid mistakes. Second, make sure that you don't get lazy with your writing, no matter what. I'm guilty of it as well, but as you get further into a series or further into a chapter, your writing that began really well tends to sag a little. If you have to spend longer writing chapters, so be it, but I can tell you're a good writer and there's no reason to rush along with what you're doing to "get it done", if that makes sense.
What sort of person would enjoy Journey of Tala? Anyone looking for a pretty good adventure surrounding a new Avatar an' all that ^^