I took too many KPop breaks, butfinally here with a sketchily late review. On my pride as a Quincy, I vowed to finish this one before September 5th when I will review Journey to Realization and that's also in an hour, by my clock.
by follows the story of Aang from before Sozin's comet and the A:TLA we know. Backstories are cool, right?
- Mistakes/Grammar: 6.4 This category made me sad. The biggest grammar errors I saw--other than tense switches--were commas. RotB seemed to switch off between using too many commas and too few. I wish I could just take the excessive commas out and put them where sentences needed commas, but that's not how grammar works... Other than that, there were some run-ons and random tense switches, but a lot less of those than comma hiccups.
- General Writing: 7.0 Now then, I could tell what RotB was trying to say most of the time. The thoughts were very good, but sometimes they were just kind of awkwardly worded and/or put together. Most of the awkwardness I think also stems from commas, curse those blasted little things. Other than that, the sentence structures were just rather repetitive, going back to my "starting sentences with subjects" problem. And whenever there was some good variation... commas... Oh, and I don't really like onomatopoeias used in excess, but that's a personal preference.
Writing Score: 6.7... D+
- Story: 7.9 The story premise is very interesting. Most don't think of anything really happening in this gap that RotB has created, but it fits just enough and is just creative enough to be really interesting. However, there were times when the story seemed to rush along, like RotB was trying to fit events in for the sake of having them rather than for the sake of fitting in with the story.
- Characters/Character Development: 6.8 I didn't really feel like there was much character development at all. Most of the time it felt... scripted. I know that it was, but it just kind of sounded forced rather than what the character would actually say, if that makes sense. However, there are some good characters here with whom I smell potential.
- Genre (Drama): 8.1 For the most part, I really liked the drama. I've been watching "The Young and the Restless" all summer, and I know what drama looks like *nods knowingly*. Aang: Story of an Airbender has just the right amount of skipping around and relationship development to feel like a drama without focusing on one aspect too much to get confusing. BUT, in the case of drama, points do get knocked off for rushing and for a lack of character development, both of which I felt throughout this fanon. Even so, there were some really good moments in there.
Content Score: 7.6... C
Content Quality Categories
- Creativity: 7.7 Okay, I was really stuck in grading this one. It's hard to put a number on it, but I really, really like some of the plot choices. At the time... backstories aren't the most creative. It just sort of fills in the blanks with what is known rather than really coming up with totally original content, as happens with fanons that aren't bound by canon events.
- Believability: 7.5 The rushing... A lot of time, events rushed along and that made them less believable. I don't know how else to put it, but I feel like more character development would believably happen.
Content Quality Score: 7.6... C
Overall Score: 7.3... C-
My Advice for RotB97: Okay, so I'm going to go back to the commas for a bit of writing advice. Generally speaking, if you have more than two commas in a sentence, it's good to go back and read the sentence aloud, pausing at the commas. If you did so for the sentence I just wrote, you'd find that it kind of sounded awkward. On the other hand, I could word it much simpler and with less commas to be less awkwawrd: "Generally speaking, it's good to go back and read a sentence aloud if you have more than two commas and to pause at the commas while reading." See? It's still kind of awkward (but that's just because I'm an awkward writer), but it's easier to follow. So all I have to say about that is to read anything you're even remotely unsure about aloud. As for plot and actually substance of your fanon, I'm going to say that you should take your time a bit more. Go for a walk in the park rather than a sprint. I would have liked more than just two Bumi chapters, for example. It seems to me like all the big problems I saw in the fanon would be fixed this way. You're covering a chunk of time, and you shouldn't feel any sort of hurry to get it done. Sit back and relax a bit!
What sort of person would enjoy Story of an Airbender? Well, fans of backstory fanons obviously, but anyone looking for a light fanon will probably find something to enjoy here.