Hey there,here, reviewing by on behalf of the Fanon Review Squad.
This story encompasses the events that transpired to the Northern Tribe separating and eventually leading to the migration to the South. Along the way, the Waterbenders face the dangers in the North and South, as well as witness the Darkest Day in Fire Nation History while traveling the oceans. The Avatar must assist the new Water Tribe, at the risk of the Avatar's own life.
This fanon has serious potential, with a unique story and setting that allow for an original tale. However, it lacks the proper plot structure and character development to truly carry its weight. WaterMasterFinn has a prospective fanon, but it does need definite fine-tuning.
Story – 7.0: The story of Avatar Jong-Mu and the splitting of the Water Tribes is certainly ripe for exploration. Unfortunately, the plot moves quickly and jumps around between its insanely large cast of characters, making it hard to follow.
Action – 6.5: There is plenty of action present in this story, from one-on-one duels to massive battles that encompass entire cities. The problem lies in the lackluster description and choppy nature of these fights. They often fall into a repetitive rut and could definitely use some polish.
Writing – 8.5: The spelling and grammar are quite good, but the way Finn decides to structure sentences and paragraphs make it seem jerky overall.
Creativity – 9.0: The idea behind the plot is incredibly unique, touching on an area of Avatar lore that has not, to my knowledge, been explored in such detail. Unfortunately, the characters lack a certain spark in this department.
Believability – 6.0: My biggest complaint with this fanon was how the reader is thrown into the thick of things without really getting any clues as to the ‘why’ and ‘how’. Allow me to explain: when I read it, things (such as plot points or characters) would be introduced rapidly and without much exposition, and no further exposition would really come. There isn’t really much of a reason for the split beyond what little we know from the series, and that does not necessarily make for an interesting narrative in and of itself.
Character Development – 7.0: I give Finn credit where credit is due; he does a fairly decent job of growing many of the characters that populate this fanon. Unfortunately, there are so many that take center stage a different times that he loses excellent chances for development of a select few instead. Another problem is the fact that Jong-Mu, the Avatar, receives little to no growth during the entire run. I understand that he’s a fully-realized Avatar by this point, but he should still have moments of development as a character.
Average Score/Final Verdict – 7.3: WaterMasterFinn, you have a piece filled with potential here; you just need to iron it out. Don’t sacrifice clarity in the narrative or spots of character development to move a story along quicker (something I am guilty of at times, as well). If you strengthen those areas, as well as polish your action scenes a bit, this has great potential as a fanon.
Who should read The Water Tribes? Want to know what happened to split this once great nation? Check this original piece out.