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Fanon Review: The House of Angkara by Omashu Rocks

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FRSimage
This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!

Hey there, Mageddon725 here, reviewing The House of Angkara by Omashu Rocks on behalf of the Fanon Review Squad.

Shen doesn't know who her parents are or where she came from, but she is certain of her purpose. For too long she has witnessed the people of Kisah be oppressed by the Angkara family. Now 15, she decides to leave her home and Ohk, whom she views as a father, to fulfill her destiny to rid the city of the tyrannical Angkara's. While she is not a bender, her skills with knives make her a deadly foe. She joins the Iluna Rebels, a team of orphans with one thing in common: they are all determined to free Kisah once and for all.

The House of Angkara is quite an interesting fanon, dealing with a city, Kisah, in a very interesting fashion. The action is fairly balanced, but the characters aren’t very relatable and the plot moves incredibly fast, making it hard for the reader to connect with what is going on.

Scores:

Story – 8.3: The plot revolves around the Angkara Family and their stranglehold on Kisah, and the rebel group, who just initiated their newest member—Shen. The plot, unfortunately, is not given much time to develop or explain anything, which can be detrimental.

Action – 8.5: The action sequences are pretty good, although I find it hard to get pumped up when they come simply because I don’t feel connected to the story.

Writing – 7.9: Omashu Rocks is a fairly active fanon writer, among other things, so it came as a surprise to find quite a few blatant spelling and grammar errors in each chapter. Another issue stemmed from the apparent lack of focus in the writing itself; events are just sort of pieced together loosely.

Creativity – 9.4: I will say this, OR has got himself an original idea here, but the execution could use some work.

Believability – 6.0: With four chapters out, Shen has gone from sheltered monastery girl to seasoned rebel in an inordinate, at least to my mind, amount of time. Another point of contention was the fact that Shen spent very little time outside of the monastery before being sucked into the central conflict of the story. One last thing: Why is there an Air Temple on a Fire Nation island?

Character Development – 6.0: I see only the most basic backstory-telling here, and none of it sheds new light on the characters’ personalities or anything. Relationships, specifically in the romantic sense, are beginning to develop four chapters in with no prior indication that it was happening.

Average Score: 7.7

Note: All scores are out of ten


Advice for Omashu Rocks: I cut you a bit of slack in the Story category because there are only four chapters, but you need to slow things down a bit, or at least build a believable situation in which things would occur quickly. A big thing that the story is missing is connection to the reader. I felt absolutely nothing when (SPOILER!!!) Sakura was revealed to have been executed, and that was because of this: if you’re going to kill off a character, make us care as readers about said character. Other than that, you should double and triple-check your work before posting it, because it had far more spelling/grammar errors than I expected.

Who should read The House of Angkara? In the mood for something completely new, rife with rebellion and intrigue? Then you should check this one out.

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