Hey there,here, reviewing by on behalf of the Fanon Review Squad.
I do apologize once again for my lack of progress on these reviews. Fortunately, I'm back in action and will work until I finish the reviews I'm behind on.
Three years have passed since Avatar Aang defeated the Fire Lord and ended the Hundred Year War. But the world is not at peace. One hundred years of brutal fighting has left the world scarred and damaged. Because of the Earth Kingdom's focus on defending themselves, they had little attention for regional conflicts. In the Si Wong Desert, the Sandbending tribes that have lived peacefully for centuries are at the brink of war. What will the future bring for these tribes, and with the world distracted, who will save the desert from war?
The idea here is unique, definitely expressing an unseen side of the Avatar mythos. However, the execution of this tale leaves much to be desired, mostly due to choppy writing and a plot that moves at lightning speed without taking proper account of everything else around it. Sand Dunes has some bright spots, but they are largely overshadowed by its problems.
Story – 5.0: Sand Dunes is a distinctive idea, but the pacing of the plot is far too fast with little to no exposition. To put it simply, events and characters are introduced at an alarming rate with no real context or weight behind them.
Action – 7.0: The action isn’t all that bad in Sand Dunes. However, I would’ve liked to have been able to get a better idea of what was happening. What I was offered in the narrative was relatively basic.
Writing – 3.0: This is another area that could use some serious improvement. Choppy sentences, misspelled words, and poor grammar are unfortunately commonplace in this story. Additionally, I don’t believe that it was a good idea for the author to go with a first person perspective, as those can be difficult to properly pull off. I would suggest finding an editor to help fix up the story and maybe a beta reader or two for any future chapters.
Creativity – 6.0: Sand Dunes is built on an incredibly creative concept, but the execution of everything from characters to the plot points is lacking.
Believability – 2.0: To be quite honest, I felt like the pacing of the story had a lot to do with this score. Because everything and everyone just jumped from one plot point to the next with no growth or development, I had a hard time believing what I was reading.
Character Development – 3.0: There are instances of growth for certain characters, but they are few. Once again, the pacing of this tale leaves little room for development.
Average Score/Final Verdict – 4.3: My advice to Siwong is this: slow things down. You don’t have to jump to each plot point; take time to get there. Explore your setting, story, and (most importantly) your characters. Do this, and your story will improve dramatically. You should also think about finding a good editor.
Who should read Sand Dunes? Anyone who loves Sandbending ought to give this one a try.