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Fanon Review: Cosmic Energy by Snivystorm

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FRSimage
This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!

Hey there, Mageddon725 here, reviewing Avatar: Cosmic Energy by Snivystorm on behalf of the Fanon Review Squad. This is the beginning of my final review run for the FRS. It's been fun, but I can no longer handle the scheduling.

Two years have passed since the return of Sozin's Comet, the fall of Ozai and the Avatar and the new Fire Lord began restoring balance. But while peace may be restored, a dark evil lurks in the mist, people who want to end this era of peace and wreak havoc on the world. The people who believe the Avatar didn't deserve to be the hero, as he abandoned them 100 years ago, an act which resulted in the genocide of the Air Nomads. They feel a mongrel coward like him does not deserve such praise and plan to end him permanently. They are.....the Energybenders!!!

This fanon joins the cadre of stories before it, another entry into the after-the-war/Energybending line of writing. Does it make something new and exciting, or does it travel the trodden road like many before it? Unfortunately, the writing and characters don’t quite match up to the standards set by some of the earlier examples of the after-the-war genre.

Scores:

Story – 5.0: Regrettably, this story squanders its potential by focusing so much on the plot that the character development is given a complete pass in order to advance the story. Characters that are plot significant appear right at the moment where it’s convenient without any pretext, and situations occur that seem out of place for the Avatar world.

Action – 7.0: The action scenes are often jerky and repetitive, with the same words being used again and again to describe entire scenes. There isn’t any real flow or rhythm to these fight scenes, either; they’re just sort of there.

Writing – 7.0: Grammatically and syntactically, there isn’t much “wrong” with this piece. However, the style is very basic and lacks polish, and a major point-of-view shift in the beginning is pretty jarring.

Creativity – 2.0: Unfortunately, I can’t really say this hasn’t been done before. This piece lacks its own style, its own flare. It needs something that no other story on the wiki has to truly score well here.

Believability – 5.0: The Energybenders strike without clear motives or even a coherent backstory, and many of the events in this piece had me scratching my head. Yet another instance where I outright could not believe something was when Toph was being tossed around (more on that later).

Character Development – 3.0: Okay, Aang’s character was decent, but he had no growth or development. Katara and Sokka were stale (and Sokka was devoid of humor). But Toph’s arc takes the cake. When we find the Blind Bandit, she’s back under her parents’ thumb again, and she is thrust into an almost high school setting where she gets bullied. The Blind Bandit, who took out some of the best Earthbenders at once, single-handedly, was getting tossed around by a schoolyard bully. That scene makes no sense and only serves to bring in a character who apparently knows Toph (but the readers don’t know who the heck she is or where she came from).


Average Score/Final Verdict – 4.8: This story has a jumping off point, to be sure, but it needs to rely on the characters to bring it to life as opposed to following the rigid guidelines that the plot demands. It also wouldn’t hurt to find something that can make this story into a unique piece, as opposed to a cookie cutter like so many before it. I’m sure that if the author takes time and puts effort into this, the new product can be vastly superior. I did try not to sound harsh, and if I did I apologize (it's almost five in the morning where I live). This story has potential, but it needs a lot of work to reach it.

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