Hello everyone or anyone. This is your friendly neighbourhood spiderman, Kyoshidude signing in here for the first Communal Review. First up EVER we have – in my opinion, yes, Omashu does rock quite a bit – and his new fanon .
Authors Plot: Only a naive fool would honestly believe that Ba Sing Se simply reinstalled Kuei as their leader and moved on peacefully. No, that would be possible in the most politically corrupt and morally bankrupt city in the world. Immediately after Ozai's defeat, cries for a change in government shot throughout the entire Earth Kingdom. While a few did favor Kuei to remain as ruler, most became addicted to the concept of holding a free Democratic election to determine who would become the President of the Earth Nation. Avatar Aang, believing it was not his role to use his influence to elect his preferred President, declared that candidates with similar ideas would form parties and a clear platform that the people could use to make their decision. Out the genuine belief that he was best for the position and nothing else, General How immediately declared his candidacy as part of the Liberal Party, joined by Lao Beifong and others. To Aang and How's dismay, General Fong and General Sung form the Military Party and vie for the nomination, vowing for a strong militaristic rule over the nation. To make matters much worse, Long Feng establishes the Communist Party, and began to run on a platform of "standing up for the people".
General How must deal with media scrutiny, violent protests, and the evil intentions of his main opponent while struggling to run his own family. He's about to find out what a tough contact sport campaigning for office really is.
Interest Level: Now obviously this section is purely subjective. For me, fanons about events just recently after the story from A:TLA don’t really grab me, and neither do fanons about adults (based on the fact that I am a teenager, and so cannot entirely relate to the central character(s)). Another aspect that lowered my interest level was the overarching theme of politics – of which I know nothing about, nor care much about. (6.7)
Flair/Creativity: A fanon that delves into the complexities of Earth Kingdom politics. From my time on here, it has never been done. So the fanon scores great here! (10)
Action: The first chapter had little action what so ever. There were crowds and small scale riots, which, in my eyes, is nice – especially for an opening chapter when you don’t want to go all out. However, there could have been more. (6.2)
Character Development: I can’t mark much on this seeing as there is only one chapter. However, Kuei’s change in leadership was an interesting development from the events of A:TLA (but also slightly awkward) and How seems to be evolving into the guy everyone’s rooting for so I’ giving this section a (6.9)
Believability: The happenings in this fanon are all mostly believable. There are some parts I was a bit iffy about i.e the sudden mood change of Kuei, Aang’s speech but overall I can definitely see this being the real aftermath of the Great War. (9.0)
Writing: The writing is good. Grammar is also very well done with little to no mistakes whatsoever. In some parts it can be rushed – scene changes and dialogue – but overall it effectively creates a picture in your mind that lasts. (9.0)
Total Score: 8.0
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What the author does: This fanon is very intellectual, and Omashu Rocks deserves praise for his knowledge and determination to translate real world politics into the Avatar World. The writing and grammar is done quite well too.
What the author needs to work on: Pace. Slow down. For me, descriptions of settings and more detail to the inner emotions of the characters helps to slow the pace and buy some time, but it also thickens your fanon and makes it a better story. Show, don’t tell.
Recommended audience: Anyone who loves politics will love this, or anyone who wants to get a grasp on the politics of the Avatar World. Non-specific readers, I think, will like it too, as I predict there will be upcoming suspense, drama and probably action.