This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
The Avatar has always been a force for balance within the world, but, as of late, it seems as if the Spirit World has been encroaching on the human world in ways that could have disastrous implications if left unchecked. Now, Avatar Argho, along with his allies, must face some of the most powerful and ancient spirits that have ever existed, spirits that have been vying for power since time immemorial. Can they face down the darkness, or will the world crumble?
In his action-packed finale, Mageddon creates a hectic world in which the fully realized Avatar -- Avatar Argho -- deals with an ever-changing and twisting reality that is coerced by powerful spirits targeting humanity. Will they be able to stop the super natural opposition? Or rather, can they?
Plot - 8.3: I like the story, I did, it was entertaining and gripping; but I have to say, the plot was fairly mediocre and normal. I enjoyed certain aspects of the story, but when things like villainous battles occurred, or climatic events in general happened, I couldn't help but feel they were cliche. This is a good story, but I feel like the premise of the plot is a bit bland to make it great.
Character Development - 7.6: One key part of every story is it's characters. They each need a solid purpose, a drive. My favorite aspect of the characters was the bonds between Moro and Shen; the author did a brilliant job crafting it. Although, I can't say the same for Argho. In general, his mannerisms seem pretty repetitive, and I mean this in the sense that his reaction to things such as Spirits of Tempests, the major villain of book one, were the same: he beat them senseless, basically. I think that a change to the point that this repetitiveness dies down would be positive.
Organization - 9.1: For the most part, the story flows pretty clearly. Rough dialogue in various places and confusing time jumps blurred the story for me, but overall, it was a very comprehensive layout.
Creativity - 8.4: For this story, I'm being a bit harsh on the creativity aspect. Mainly, the idea behind the story is typical. There's a villain doing bad things, the main character has to take him down: that's what I get from it. That being said, I've read multiple stories with this central notion, and I simply feel that more original plots make stories better in general.
Mechanics - 9.5: Mage is an experienced author who knows how to write, and he does so very well. Besides a few errors in usage, a little punctuation, or word choice, there's not much to say here!
General Writing - 9.2: In general, the writing was nice and solid, as expected. In certain areas of the story, the dialogue would get choppy or bland, and the scenes would become very rushy, which is the reason there's a deduction. Other than that, I enjoyed it. The action scenes were exquisite, for lack of a better word!
Style - 8.6: Stemming from the deductions in the general writing subcategory, the writing was a bit rushy and choppy in places, which is something I look at when judging style. Overall, the style attributed to the writing well, but in some places, it didn't really connect with the words.
Captivation - 8.8: Like I said, I thoroughly enjoyed the story. It had heart-pounding action scenes and generally well written chapters. In certain parts of the story, it got repetitive, or the blandness in the writing began to cause me to lose attentiveness. It's something that re-reading chapters and changing up wording and choppy dialogue could easily fix.
Emotion - 7.9: Other than the awesome action scenes, I couldn't feel the emotion. Maybe it was Argho's repetitive way of dealing with issues, or maybe the cliche plot, but the feeling just wasn't there as I read. Every now and again, I could see it in the writing, but I just could feel it.
Believability - 8.0 The story is logically sensible. It links together and makes sense, in that respect. But there were things I had problems with. For instance, the Air Nomads. I can't see them being violent. They're a peaceful people, not striking back unless their lives are at stake in the very moment. That's one of my big problems. Another part of it were Argho's decisions. They honestly didn't make sense sometimes. When he decides to leave something he started, I need a reason, not just the plain fact that he simply did it on a whim. Those connections, and those like it, weren't there for me.
Final Score - 8.54
The action scenes were freakin' sick, Mage!
The story was well-written.
Loved the relationship between Moro and Shen!
Advice for the Author
Mage, you're an experienced author on the wiki, and I'm still a newcomer, so to speak. That being said, I hope you take my advice into consideration. Your general writing is awesome, except there were those pesky bland sections and then choppy dialogue pieces that bog it down. Really make sure to put the effort into the entire story that you put into the action scenes; it will make the story go from good to great. Focus on how you want the story to progress, and write it with all you can.
If you like action, check this story out: action's abound!