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This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
This one-shot is based entirely on the assumption that the Northern and Southern Water Tribes engaged in a civil war during Chief Unalaq's rule. This may either be affirmed or negated by Book Two of The Legend of Korra.
"Chills" is a one-shot written by wiki newcomer Snoopy Meg, dealing with a harsh civil war between the Water Tribes during a period of attempted "peace-talks" between the two tribes in 144 AG. The story follows the perspective of Makwa, son of Tonraq, dealing with the tension of battle first hand, and his experience of the violent repercussions of the foregoing clash. In a twisted, depressing story that is ambiguous until the very end, Meg writes a tale that is both descriptively pleasing and emotionally touching.
One-shot in Review (Scores out of 5.0)
Writing - 4.6: For the author's first fanon, and more importantly, a one-shot, the writing was strong and fulfilling. The short plot was thought out and well-connected, as well as a thick and prevalent use of metaphors, similes, and other literary devices throughout. The main point I found myself concerned with was not the lack of action description, but rather the slight plainness in said descriptions. It was missing a sense of vitality in the writing, but not so much that it put a damper on the writing. The mechanics were ideal and I couldn't see any problems in word usage or such. Just try to add the pizzazz of sorts to the action scenes, rather then simply staying baseline in the description. I will say that I give partial credit where it is due, being that it is technically a G rate fanon, and you can't get too gritty with that rating. But if the author writes with harsher action sequences, I recommend bumping the rating up to PG or PG-13 where it applies.
Content - 4.4: In terms of content, the author links up the thoughts and actions present in a well-written, creative way. The story starts off well, but an issue I noticed was the repeated flashbacks, which can alter the reading flow if misused or overused, which wasn't necessarily the case here, but still - try to utilize this just as one would with other literary techniques; make sure to use them in moderation to maintain the attention of the reader. Other than that, the content was bound together fairly well.
Comprehension - 4.5 Like I referenced in the content portion, make sure to be weary of the flashbacks as to maintain the flow of the reading. There were only a few instances where the writing jumped and I had to take a moment to realize what happened. Other than that, the writing was entertaining and a great short story. The action sequences sometimes were less descriptive than I would've enjoyed, but in terms of a G rating, it was a very interesting read. Well done, especially for your first fanon!
Final Score - 4.5
The ambiguous factor (that I won't discuss too much due to spoilers and such) was a very interesting factor to include in the one-shot; it makes the ending all the more saddening!
The idea of a civil war between the Water Tribes was creative and interesting to read about.
Having the central character, Makwa, being the character in focus was a great plot element.
Advice for the Author
Not much to say here, as you're a great writer already! Though, what I can say is to have a balance of literary techniques and to try and give the action scenes more of a life-like feel to them, rather than simply describing what's happening. That's about it.
If you have some spare time, give this one-shot a read! It's an awesome fanon, especially it being the author's first on the wiki!