Hello, this is BlackMonkey, signing in (late) to reviewby .
The spirit world was created after gods on earth felt too mortal... They brought half of the people (or beings) to this new World (The Spirit World) those of more power or stronger ones were those to become spirits while weaker ones were mortals. Whole family's were split apart and not all spirits liked it, a spirit war ensued where amazing strategist Hánano who is a teenager leader of the rebels after being blessed by the Spirit of the World and becoming the first Avatar. It's actually frustrating now. This is the third story Random has asked me to review many weeks in advance, and, just like the others, it only had one chapter. So, all these grades are based on one chapter. And unlike the other stories of Random's which I have reviewed, this wasn't a very good chapter. So readers, prepare for some cold-hearted stats.
- Story - 8.3: The story of the first chapter, not so good. The planned story seems awesome (although I have no idea why he gave away that Hánano was going to become the avatar in the first chapter of history, that would have been an awesome climax).
- Action - 5.0: There was no action in the first chapter.
- Writing - 7.5: Not bad, but not very good either.
- Creativity - 8.8: The first chapter was pretty boring, but the general jist of the fanon was very creative.
- Believability - 6.1: - So Hánano randomly bumps into this kid, and the kid responds by saying "Why are we fighting this war?". This is followed by a chapter long monologue. I don't know about you, but the conversations I have with small children I've never met before don't usually go like that.
- Character Development - 6.5: There was one short chapter to expand two characters, only the boy seemed to develop, aspiring to become a Sentōki like Hánano.
Average Score: 7.0
Note: All scores are out of ten
Advice for RandomPerson...o 0: This fanon's ideas are amazing! If it was expanded it would be a legend! I mean it! I helped plan it months ago and when I thought it would become a legend. Please, please, stop creating fanon stories and just write a chapter of one of your current ones! They all have potential!
What kind of users should read Spirit War? Everyone should, at least, once another chapter is posted.