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Hello, Avatar Wiki. This is Bahjy1, Coming to do my first-in-a-while Sunday review, this time reviewingby .
Love Will Find A Way, is an adventure-romance fanon with lots of action. The fanon itself is much unique, written in a nice way, and enjoys a very skilled author.The story (not looking at writing, suspense, idea, or action) is much good, and it has a perfect number of protagonists and antagonists and a perfect mix of obstacles and assistances. Anyway, the relatively new author still needs some work on suspense.
At the very start of the story, it is hurried. Well, yes - It is a prologue, But it is still too much hurried. Anyway, the Earth prince, Moku, and his family have a visit from the Northern Water Tribe royal family, Moku falls in love with Kyla, the Water princess, and share a kiss. The next day, they go on a date to Ba Sing Se zoo and, heartbreakingly, the zoo is attacked by a group of Waterbenders, Firebenders, and Airbenders and they kidnap the princess. Furthermore, the prince goes secretly looking for his love, as do her family. When he's gone, the Earth King starts looking for him. And then.. the story begins. For a relatively-new author, this story is not great. It is GREAT! Scores :
- Suspense : 8.7 - Unfortunately, this element came first. It is the weakest point of LWFAW. Still good, but needs improvement. Will help you out in the advice section, AlaskaBender.
- Action : 9.8 - The story is too action-packed. I don't like that very much, but the action is well-done, so this story gets a high score.
- Description : 9.7 - Well described. I have nothing more to say for the lack of terms in my head right now. By the way, it has some refferences to some things that occured with Team Avatar in A:TLA - I like that.
- Creativity : 9.5 - A unique, well-thought out fanon. Nothing that I expected, this story excels in its ideas. The creativity flows in the author's head a chapter after another. Not just another Avatar and his friends copying the same of A:TLA - Not just another after the war fanon - But just a really good fanon.
- Development : 9.2 - As I said before, much good. Perfect number of protagonists and antagonists and a perfect mix of obstacles and assistances.
- Final Touch : 9.7 - This is the editing part. You still did not review your chapters - You missed a quotation mark here, a misspell there, etc... Here is my advice for you : Make a reviewing schedule, some thing similar to what I've made here. Take a quick look at the chapters and correct the mistakes.
Final Score : 56.6/60 which averages as 9.43/10.
Any advice for AlaskaBender ? - Yes. Your story is good and I am sure it will get better with more chapters. It does have a potential. So I want it to be perfect. The one thing lacking is suspense. You need to give your readers the will to read more. Make them want to know what happens next - need to know what happens next. The easiest way forthat is to use cliffhangers, something like : "And with that, Moku heard a scream. He rushed to the screaming source and found what really shocked him." at the end of a chapter.
Who should really read Love Will Find A Way ? - Any person who wants a romantic story with much struggles while on the other hand, many adventures.
And with that,signs out! --16:51, January 8, 2012 (UTC)