This fanon story talks about Fire Nation Princess Ursa, and her view of the world. Daughter of Zuko and Mai, she is friends with Kya, daughter of Aang and Katara. Kya has a brother called Tenzin, Azula is in prison, she is still cruel and likes seeing people dying. Anyway, with supporting Kataang and Maiko (shippers of these ships must like the story), this story is great.
Usually, first chapters are the worst, they are more like a user's first try. In my case,is suffering a lack of everything in the first 7 chapters. While in Hannah's case, 6 chapters posted, only 6 chapters of them are much awesome. I will have to say, READ IT!!.
- Suspense : 8.8 - Chapters are short, but yet full of suspense. Really does keep you reading, I can't wait for chapter 7, or 77.
- Action : 7.3 - Only element that makes a significant lack in the story. Although first six chapters, there's a lack of action, but not bad for a beggining author.
- Description : 8.8 - I was amazed. Was Hannah a writer before coming here ? Is she related to J.K. Rowling ? Description is really well. Can't say much.
- Creativity : 8.2 - Since I have to review the whole story, not just one chapter, I'll go with saying just great. Azula's chapter showed that she's still the same, so that doesn't show creativity, although it's short.
- Development : 8.6 - You handle only three new characters. You are doing a perfect job. Getting into the Kataang, is also great.
- Final Touch : 9.8 - Reviewed by some users, and by Hannah. Good job.
Final Score : 51.5/60 - Average : 8.583333333333333
I'll have to say that making a chapter that short gives a smaller opportunity for all factors to appear. But also decreases the chances of mistakes happening. I don't know why, but I feel that if the chapters were longer, the review will be even better. Other than that, good job.
Why should you read Avatar: Daughter of Fire ? - Because I want you to. Not just that, Kataang and Maiko - check. Really amazing character development - check. Creative ideas - check. Point of view of many characters - check. It is a post-wat fanon like many, but it is surely unique and deserves the time you need to read it (although not a long time).
Any advice for Hannah230 ? - Keep doing what you're doing! It's a great job. I advise you to increase action as the story goes, it is currently your only lower than the others element. A fairly big percent of the community likes some action, try to use battles, small fights, and a smaaaaaaaall bit of violence to increase action. Some users (or at least me) think that a longer chapter is better. You can slightly increase the length of upcoming chapters, which in my opinion helps a little.
--17:19, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Cool signature, huh ? :P