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The main thing that I want to say is that, when I'm reviewing your fanon, any friendship I have with you is irrelevant. I'm an honest reviewer. And it will not make a difference if I've known you forever, or have never met you before. Also, my reviews may seem a bit harsh. I don't just give away points. If I think something is average, it will get a 6 or 7. If something really sucked, it'll get something very low, like a 2 or 3. I will not spoonfeed you criticism by flattering you with high scores. You earn them. As far as I'm concerned, you start with a 10. It's yours to keep or lose.
One last note: One thing that will make this review different from reviews of any kind, be they FRS or not, is that the scores will be weighted. If a story has a bad idea, you won't be able to rely on some minor element to save you. This ensures: 1) That the more important elements of a story will effect the story more, and 2) That a person will have to work equally as hard on all elements of a story.
I'm not picky. I won't just give you a 7 because I don't want to. But you will have to earn your score. Here's the deal: I give credit where credit is due. End of discussion.
And in Darksome Knights, credit is, indeed, due.
Now, onto the real review.
So what's this story about, anyways? Darksome Knights is a story unique from other fanons. This story is not just any regular Avatar fanon. In fact, it's not a true Avatar fanon at all. It's a multiverse fanon, with elements of Avatar, including the old Gaang. Elements from Star Wars, Harry Potter, Pokemon, and a few other franchises are compiled into one fanon. I know, it sounds messy, and like "just another one of those stories."
Plot (x4): 8.2 (x4) = 32.8. The idea of crossing over such different universes is very creative. And it's done in a very good way. The things that happen are very good, and it's got some good twists and turns. However, those are weakened by rushed events and, in a non-contradictory manner, slow-moving plot. Honestly, an Avatar episode could have fit everything that's happened so far, in thirty chapters, could have been fit into four or five episodes.
General Writing (x4): 9.5 (x4) = 38. Writing can make or break a fanon; it makes this one. Lightningthief's descriptive, solemn tone and perfect word order make for a very compelling read. The only downside is, as I mentioned before, the rushed plot and dialogue (which, IMO, falls under writing).
Creativity (x3): 10 (x3) = 30. There have been crossovers before. But I've never seen one in the fanon portal (though I'm sure there've been some), and bringing all of those universes together, and still managing to pull it off is quite impressive.
Action (x2): 7.2 (x2) = 14.4. Yeah, this one is sorta average. The rarely-seen action is good. Very descriptive, and nicely done. The problem is, it's rarely-seen. The first, like 8 chapters have none, leaving the first real battle to take place in the book one finale (correct me if I'm wrong). Honestly, for the most part, the only chapters to include any action are the finales.
Character Development (x2): 4.5 (x2) = 9. I'm speaking honestly, not rudely, when I say that I saw very, very little character development. Of course, developing so many characters, including ATLA characters, in chapters as short as Darksome Knights has, is very difficult, so the focus here would be, naturally, on the five pillars. But aside from one major issue (and it was VERY good; this part's saving grace), there was none from them either.
Realism (x2): 8.0 (x2) = 16. Ok, let's be honest. A story where six different universes join together isn't going to be the most realistic thing in the world. But, considering the plot is unrealistic, you kind of have to determine whether what goes on in the story would actually be something believable if this fantasy came to life; and they would. For the most part, the conversations were very real. The only major flaw that I saw was how easily TA covinced the leaders to join them.
Engrossment (x2): 10 (x2) = 20. Each chapter left me staring at my computer screen, almost forgetting to scroll down the page. One word for this: brilliant.
Grammar, Spelling, etc. (x1): 7. While reading the chapters, I found 4-5 spelling/punctuation errors per chapter, as well as the occasional typo. The punctuation and typos could be fixed by reading through the chapters again. The spelling, on the other hand, is far more difficult. My advice: if you are unsure about a word, got to dictionary.com, and see if that's how it's spelled. If you really just can't figure out how to spell something, the only option left is to guess. Who knows? It'll probably turn out fine.
Total: 157.2/200. Averages to 7.86/10
What does Darksome Knights have? Excellent storyline, great general writing from a great author, an incredibly creative plot, and a certain ability to make your mouth drop to the floor without you even knowing it.
What does Darksome Knights lack, and how can Lightningthief improve it? Character development and action are some issues, and the occasional error in grammar can snap you out of that feeling of engrossment. My advice: Use the pillars. Each is a new, underexplored character, who obviously has a history. Learning it is the exciting part. As for the action, making the chapters a bit longer, to include a bit more, could definitely make the currently rare action seem more common, simply because it would be less spaced out. Also, dropping an occasional battle when appropriate in places besides the book finales would be helpful. Otherwise, just read over your fanon; those mistakes do take away from it. Make sure to read over each chapter, and catch the errors.
Who does Darksome Knights appeal to? Anybody who likes a fanon with short, exciting, and fun chapters. Being a Star Wars/Harry Potter fan doesn't hurt either, though I'm not a fan of any of the series, and I understood DK pretty well.
Do I like this fanon, and would I reccomend it? Absolutely, I love it. And if I didn't reccomend it, I'd be depriving people of something great.
Tee 02:55, February 22, 2012 (UTC)