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Fanon Review: The Avatar Rhythm by BlackMonkey - Acenglished!

AcerEvan October 16, 2012 User blog:AcerEvan

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Hey, fanon-folks. Welcome to my first weekly fanon review; The Acenglished Review! I know this is out-of-rule about the FRS review, so I ask you to read the title: Not a FRS review. Please notice that although this is not a FRS review, this is also accurate and advice-included. Thank you.

Going through my weekly review, you can read 'em once a week, I will reviewing as or not as FRS member. And if I accepted on FRS, this will not counted as a FRS review, so you can ask once again if your fanon has reviewed by me, so don't worry! Scores may be change. *Bleh, a lot of grammatical errors. >.<*

Avatar_Rhythm_Large_.jpg

Okay, let's go through the review.

The Avatar Rhythm is BlackMonkey's current fanon. It tells the story of a teenage boy named Shirou who is born 224 years after Avatar: The Last Airbender, when the war ends. After Shirou runs away from his saddening life of royalty in the Northern Water Tribe, everything around him starts taking some mysterious turns as he tries to find and kill the Avatar, destined on getting revenge after the last Avatar accidentally killed his grandfather in war. Corrupted and lost, he befriends the young daughter of a Fire Nation governor who has a similar goal as his, and he settles down in the Capital. Although as soon as his peaceful life begins, Shirou is thrown into a tangle of conspiracies, curses, tax collectors and bands of rebels, leaving only a few wise souls left that can shape his true destiny. Prepare for huge mysteries, unbearable secrets, and an epic tale that will teach balance and peace in the most complex way. This is more than a story. This is The Avatar Rhythm.

A nice overview, describe the story beautifully. At first sight, you'll excited to read this because the format of the main page. Using advanced code on main page will increase your interest-level. Nicely done.

Writing Categories

  • Grammar - 9.0 (x2): I can't find any grammatical errors throughout the chapters, and most of them are unique and colorful. I know there were some mistakes here and there, but they're not annoying me to read the chapters, as they are... hard to notice and not a "ton of typos". Overall, I know that BM is a good writer, so no doubt in here.
  • General Writing - 7.8 (x3): Have I said that BM is a good writer? Yeah! I love the descriptions that formed on the chapters, but I felt "hard to read" when I notice that BM used <br /> instead of a space. Nothing to say here, I beg you to praise BM on description. But, as the time passed, I see a progress on TAR. I see a lot of improvements.

So, it is... 8.28 (B)

Content Categories

  • Story - 8.2 (x2): A story, speaking about a boy that really ambitious to kill the Avatar, but the Avatar itself is his friend. Afterward, they broke up from their friendship, and start to kill one-another. Flowing through the chapters, day by day, I see a great plot grows on TAR. But sometimes, I felt like Hotaru has a same past with Roku; speaking about how both of them know that they're the Avatar. And also, on the first chapter on Book 2, I feel that Akata’s mother is… kind of strange as she let him to kill someone. Which is opposite of Air Nomad-culture. But still, a complex, really, I love it. All hail BM!
  • Character Development – 8.9 (x3): A strong, a really strong character’s growing here. A lot of twists stick on TAR and a frequent development was placed well. Just a note, maybe you can develop the characters more deeply by giving some “shippings” and love-story, perhaps in one chapter. But thus far I didn’t see any pointless development yet.
  • Genre – 9.8 (x1): Adventure. Nearly perfect, I love the adventure on TAR. Plenty new locations, new weapons, and new adventuring stories were placed uniquely where BM wrote the chapters well. A little note: You must join the writing contest; this story is adventuring, I have no doubt you'll win!

So, it is... 8.82 (B+)

Content Quality Categories

  • Creativity – 8.9 (x1): Obviously I believe you didn’t find any stories like this one yet, although I feel one of BM’s friend’s story is nearly similar; but actually different.
  • Believability – 10.0 (x1): Nothing to say, nothing is doubtful and everything is believable.
  • Interest-level – 7.0 (x2): I can’t say only because the coding-expert on the main page will attracts you to read the story. I felt some of the chapters are chore to read, and mostly because the low-spacing. I hate to say this, but I dislike “br” code for a story. Perhaps you can add some cliffhanger and remove the “br” code with another one.

So, it is... 8.225 (B)

Overall Scores... 8.44! (B)

All scores are Out of Ten.

What are BlackMonkey's advantages? Mostly in description and action. I amazed and flattered by your works, really, BM, and the story is intriguing. You're pretty active on fanon portal, so people will automatically check your fanon often. You are not excessive on the story, and all of them are believable.

What BlackMonkey could improves on? The action was well-packed, the story are mostly believable. I think by the continuation on Book 4, I can’t suggest any writing-advice as I see you’re better than me, just the spacing. I felt chore to read only because the space. And sometime, you can add more cliffhanger, which make readers want to read the next chapter! That’s it, but nicely done on Book One – Three.

So, if you say so, who will definitely enjoy to read TAR? I can’t say no one will enjoy it; everybody will. I judge you, all action-lover, to read and subscribe The Avatar Rhythm! That’s the most brightest shining-star on TAR!

* : If I don't auditioned on the FRS, I will continue this weekly. But if I joined, I will update this whenever I have time.

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