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|My Days on Ember Island|
Chapter 7: The Worst Play of My Life
Today, I was with Sokka in town and we were just passing a billboard when I saw a poster. And it wasn't just any poster! It advertised a PLAY about us! Sokka and I got so excited. I ripped the poster off the billboard and went back to the beach house.
"You guys are not going to believe this. There's a play about us!" Sokka said excitedly.
"We were just in town and we saw this poster!" I said as Sokka showed the poster.
"What? How's that possible?" Katara asked.
"Listen to this... 'The Boy in the Iceberg' is a new production from the acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scattered the globe gathering information about the Avatar, from the icy south pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage," Sokka read.
"Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players," I added.
"Ugh! My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered "Love Amongst the Dragons" every year," Zuko said in disgust.
"Sokka, do you really think it's a good idea to see a play about ourselves?" Katara asked.
"Come on, a day at the theater? This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense I've been missing!" Sokka said. We decided to attend the production.
That night, we arrived at the theater and took up an entire balcony section of seats. I sat beside Sokka. Then the lights dimmed as the curtains rose. The spotlight shined on an actress dressed as Katara and an actor dressed as Sokka. Katara and Sokka looked very thrilled to see themselves.
"Sokka, my only brother. We constantly roam these icy seas, and yet never do we find anything fulfilling," Katara's actress said in an overly dramatic tone.
"All I want is a full feeling in my stomach. I'm starving!" Sokka's actor said in a comedic tone. Right then, the audience laughed. I stifled a giggle.
"Is food the only thing on your mind?" Katara's actress asked.
"Well, I'm trying to get it out of my mind, and into my mouth! I'm starving!" Sokka's actor said. The audience laughed again. Sokka looked outraged.
"This is pathetic! My jokes are way funnier than this!" Sokka whispered angrily. Toph laughed.
"I think he's got you pegged!" she said laughing.
"Everyday, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears! Still, we can not give up hope! For hope, it is all we have! And we must never relinquish it! Even to our dying breath!" the actress cried. Sokka and I snickered. It was quite exaggerated but funny.
Then, the scene in which Aang emerges from the iceberg came. Aang looked excited at first, but his excitement turned to shock when he saw that a WOMAN had his part! In the play, Aang is also shown as a happy prankster. Aang looked even more outraged than Sokka.
The scene changed and an actor of Zuko and an actor of Iroh appeared. Iroh was shown as too fat and appears to like cake instead of tea! In my opinion, the actor of Zuko was quite accurate. Zuko hated his portrayal, however.
The scene in which I was in finally appeared. My makeup was accurate, but my hairstyle, headdress and dress were exaggerated.
"Does this dress make my butt look fat?" Sokka's actor asked. The audience laughed. I couldn't help it but I too laughed. It was quite funny.
Long, badly-acted scenes were passing and finally, the scene changed to the Northern Water Tribe. Sokka's actor was saying goodbye to an actress playing Princess Yue.
"Don't go Yue! You're the only woman who has taken my mind off food!" Sokka's actor said. Then, he and 'Yue' kissed. I looked a bit surprised to see that Sokka had kissed the Moon Spirit.
"Wait, did you have pickled fish for dinner?" 'Sokka' asked.
"Goodbye Sokka. I have important moon duties to tend. And yes, I did have pickled fish!" 'Yue' had said tearfully.
"You never told me you made out with the Moon Spirit," I said surprised to a teary eyed Sokka.
"Sshhh, I'm trying to watch!" Sokka said on the verge of tears. I looked a bit offended.
Finally... FINALLY... Act I ended. We were outside the theater during intermission. We were all commenting on how awful the play is. NO ONE was happy with the extremely inaccurate portrayals. More than anything, I was shocked at how awful the acting is, the cheesy dialogue and the special effects. Only some actors, like the actor of Zuko, put in an effort. If they were trying to entertain us, then they are doing a horrible job. This is nothing but Fire Nation propaganda!
We went back inside for Act II. It showed the group looking for an Earthbending teacher for 'Aang'. Then, 'Toph' appeared. Sokka, Katara, Aang and I snickered. Zuko dropped the program looking shocked that a really buff MAN was playing Toph! However, Toph looked happy that a buff dude was playing her and not a bald flying lady. According to the play, 'Toph' sees not by feeling vibrations, but by screaming in faces. And yes, this was actually done. The actor screamed so loud that every member of the audience was covering their ears. We all cringed except Toph.
The scene shifted to 'Zuko' and 'Iroh' splitting up. Then, the scene shifted to the group cornering an actress playing Azula. In fact, the actress made her exit through a stage door right in front of us! The scene then shifted to Ba Sing Se when a drill was drilling through the wall and 'Aang' trying to stop 'Azula'. That was the most boring scene ever. I could feel myself falling asleep. The scene shifted to when 'Jet' was brainwashed and killed (which was really unclear). The scene then shifted to the Crystal Catacombs of Old Ba Sing Se. It showed 'Katara' flirting with 'Zuko' and them embracing. At this, I saw Aang leave.
The scene then shifted to 'Zuko' being confused as to which side he should pick. He had chosen 'Azula's' side and I think Zuko looked regretful. The scene shifted to the Coup of Ba Sing Se. 'Mai' and 'Ty Lee' had just 'defeated' the Earth King's guards. Their portrayals were also inaccurate. 'Aang' is then shown going into 'Avatar State' and getting struck by the 'lightning' of 'Azula'. The curtains then closed and the audience applauded. We all gave each other disgusted looks.
We went outside into the hallway for the second intermission. Sokka then asked me if I could take him backstage. We went backstage where all the actors, actresses and stagehands were talking. Sokka then appeared in front of his actor and gave him some tips. The actor liked those tips. Well, that's a relief!
We went back in the theater for Act III. The curtains had opened to 'Aang' getting better, 'Katara' as the Painted Lady and 'Sokka' getting a sword. Aang came back just in time for the Invasion scene. Sure enough, after 'Aang' flew away, 'Sokka' began using the jokes. The audience howled with laughter. Then, the scene showed 'Zuko' joining the group. The final scene came, but it ended with 'Zuko' getting killed by 'Azula' and 'Aang' getting killed by 'Ozai' on the day of Sozin's Comet. The audience gave it a standing ovation. The group and I, however, looked horrified.
"That... wasn't a good play," Zuko commented.
"I'll say," Aang agreed.
"No kidding," Katara agreed.
"Horrible," I added. That was an entire night of my life wasted.
"You said it," Toph finally said.
"But the effects were decent," Sokka commented. I hoped I could forget all about that HORRIBLE play soon!
I didn't want to put the entire play. Besides, I wanted Suki to comment on the play.
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