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|By Agent Slash||Genre||Rating||Reviews||Updates|
|More from Agent Slash||Comedy||PG||None||None|
| || And this is Katara, my flying sister.
This article is considered humorous and should not be treated too seriously.
|The Search For Amon's Identity|
It was a fine day in Republic City. On Air Temple Island, Bolin sat lazily in the yard; watching Pabu run around. Mako and Asami were taking a stroll around the island, with Mako comforting Asami about the fact that her father was a no-good Equalist. Korra and Tenzin were having an Airbending training session when, suddenly, Korra became distracted. Tenzin noticed this and stopped the session. "Korra is something wrong?" he asked.
"Uh, no, Tenzin; everything is fine," Korra answered.
"You seem distracted. Is it because of Masami?" Tenzin questioned.
Korra looked puzzled at her Airbending teacher's statement. "What?" she asked.
"You know, Mako and Asami going out," Tenzin explained.
"Ugh! I do not like Mako!" Korra exclaimed. Her face was becoming red with embarrassment.
"Oh, please," Tenzin scoffed. "I've seen Naga drool less over blubbered seal jerky."
"Please, let's just change the subject," Korra pleaded. "Look, something has really been bugging me lately."
"What is it, Korra? You know you can tell me anything," Tenzin assured his pupil.
"Well, I've just been dying to find out who Amon really is. I feel like I have to know who is behind his mask and it's driving me crazy."
"I bet it's the Cabbage Merchant! He's Amon! I just know it!" Tenzin shouted out.
Korra glared, quizzically at her Airbending mentor. "But, Tenzin, he died a long time ago. And he's obviously not Amon."
"Sorry, I just thought it sounded realistic," the Airbender said in his defense.
"I say we get Mako and Bolin and go on a search around Republic City," Korra suggested.
"That sounds like a marvelous idea, Korra," Tenzin agreed. "And maybe Asami would like to tag along?" he added.
"No, I think it's best if she stays here," Korra argued.
"Oh, sure, you aren't jealous at all."
"I JUST THINK SHE MIGHT GET IN THE WAY!!" Korra screamed.
"Alright, alright, if you say so," Tenzin said, taken aback by Korra's outburst.
Mako and Asami had returned from their walk and were sitting with Bolin on the steps outside Bolin's quarters. The three colleagues saw Korra and Tenzin approaching them and wondered what was up. "Hey, guys, how was Airbending practice?" Bolin asked.
"Never mind that, Bolin; we are going identity hunting!" Korra announced.
"What, did you lose yourself during practice?" Mako joked.
"Ha, ha, very funny, team captain," Korra said, dripping with sarcasm.
"Anyway, don't expect our help. Asami needs some time to feel better and I need to be here for her." Mako said, assertively.
"Either you come with us, or your girlfriend here finds out about a little secret you have been keeping from her," Korra threatened.
"What secret? I haven't kept any secrets from Asami," Mako protested.
"What about what went down a couple of weeks ago at the Pro-Bending arena? You know, when Bolin came to give me flowers."
Mako's face suddenly turned bright red. "Alright, we will help you out," he agreed.
"Yeah, I thought so," Korra said with a smirk.
"Amon," the Lieutenant called out his boss' name.
"What is it, Ju?" Amon asked.
"I have told you a hundred times not to call me that!" the Lieutenant screamed.
Amon let out a heavy sigh before saying anything else. "What is it, 'Lieutenant'?"
"Our spies have provided us with photos of the Avatar and her friends wandering around the city."
"Hmmm, we must take action," Amon decided. "Keep a close eye on her."
"Why can't you just go scare her, or something?" the Lieutenant asked.
"Because, I'm busy watching last week's episode. I was busy giving a rally the other day and I forgot to set my DVR." The Lieutenant sighed as he prepared to exit the room. Suddenly, Amon let out a hearty laugh. "Ha! I love the part where you were taken down by a little girl!" Amon taunted as he continued laughing.
The Lieutenant gritted his teeth. "First of all, she is like, 19, or something. Second of all, she had a freaking electrified glove!" the Lieutenant slammed the door as his boss continued laughing.
The New Team Avatar was groovin' through the city, and everything was just funkalicious.
"What is this, the seventies?!" Korra yelled.
Oh sorry. Here, let me make it better. The Krew was walkin' through the hood and everything was all good.
"No, that's even worse!" Mako complained.
Ugh! Jeez, I just can't make you people happy! Korra and her friends had been walking through Republic City for at least an hour.
"That's better," Bolin said, thankfully.
Sadly, they had found no trace of Amon's identity. "This is going nowhere. We need to come up with a strategy," Tenzin said. "We cannot just keep wandering around Republic City all day."
"I agree, but where do we start?" Asami asked.
"Alright, gaang, let's split up and look for clues," Mako said. Everyone looked upon Mako with pity and Bolin face palmed himself. "I'll go south with Asami. Bolin and Pabu, you go north. Korra and Tenzin, you take Naga and head further into the downtown area," Mako directed.
Asami and Mako had strayed from their path and had gone to Republic City Park. "Look, Mako, you don't have to take me here," Asami insisted. "I know finding Amon's identity is important."
"Look, it's alright to admit when you are upset," Mako said with sympathy in his voice.
A group of what appeared to be a group of traveling musicians approached the couple. "Hey-hey, guys. Why all the doom and gloom?" "Look, it's none of your business; now scram," said Mako.
"Whoa, scarf man. We just wanted to sing a song to cheer your girlfriend up. Our parents were nomads and they passed down their love of music to us," the leader of the group said.
"Let them sing, Mako. I'm kind of in the mood for a nice song," Asami requested.
"Alright," Mako agreed.
"So, what are you upset about?" the leader asked.
"Well, it all started when the Agni Kai Triad killed my mother," Asami explained. She told the group about her father's revenge, how he sponsored the Fire Ferrets, about the factory below the Sato Mansion and how it turned out Hiroshi had been working for the Equalists.
"Alright, I think we have a song," the leader announced.
Two people, a father and a daughter
A triad murders a loved one
A hatred divides them apart
Built weird gloves to scare all benders
And make them die
"Aw, man. That was awful," Mako complained. "Thanks goodness it's ov-"
SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!
UNDER THE MANSION!
SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, TUNNEEEEEELLLLL! Yeah!
Mako and Asami looked at each other in disgust. "Let's get back to searching," Asami said, hurriedly. Mako was already three feet in front of her by the time the musicians started exchanging confused glances.
Korra and Tenzin had been strolling through the city and Korra was about to murder Tenzin. "It's the foaming mouth guy, I tell you! The foaming mouth guy is definitely Amon! It makes perfect sense!"
"WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR AIR HOLE!?!?" Korra shouted a bright red face and steam coming out of her ears.
Tenzin did not speak for a good twelve minutes before saying something else. "I'm sorry, Korra," he apologized.
"It's alright, Tenzin. You just need to accept the fact that every crazy theory you have come up with so far is completely insane," Korra responded. "So, where are we going first?"
"To the only person in the whole city who has enough evidence to give us a hint," Tenzin responded.
"Amon?" Korra asked.
"That lieutenant with the kali sticks?"
"No one else knows more about his identity than-"
"Oh, just come on!" Tenzin barked.
The two trekked through the city until they came to a house. "Who lives here?" Korra inquired.
Tenzin opened the door and the two immediately heard the sound of weeping. The room was completely dark and all of the blinds were closed. Huddled on the couch in the back of the room, was Lin Beifong. "Go away," the former police chief mumbled.
"Come on, Lin. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back out there," Tenzin urged.
Lin continued to moan. "It's all my fault. My Metalbenders have been captured and I'm a horrible police chief," she mumbled.
"Wow, I've never seen her like this," Korra stated.
"Lin, please, you have to tell us about any evidence you found about Amon," Tenzin tried to help her up so he could see her face.
"Let go of me, you big bully," Lin slurred. She weakly punched Tenzin's chest before he let go of her. Lin continued to weep under her covers. "This isn't looking good," Korra said. "Maybe we should just go."
"Lin, I am going to count to three!" Tenzin raised his voice. "One... two... don't make me count to three!"
Lin pulled the covers further over her head. "THAT'S IT!" Tenzin yanked the blanket off of Lin.
"Tenzin, what was it you were teaching me during Airbending practice? Wasn't it something about patience?" Korra reminded the Air Nomad.
"You are right," Tenzin cleared his throat before speaking again. "Lin, if you would be kind enough to tell us where the evidence is, we will gladly leave you be."
"It's back at the police headquarters," Lin mumbled.
"Then that is our next stop," Korra stated.
"It doesn't matter. You can't get to it; it's locked away," Lin pointed out.
"Monkeyfeathers!" Korra spat.
"Well, then we will just have to meet up with the others and see what they have found," Tenzin decided. "Thank you for your cooperation, Lin." The Metalbender pulled the covers back over her head and with that, Korra and Tenzin left.
Bolin and Pabu were eating at Kwong's Cuisine and were having a ball. As Bolin received his twentieth order of noodles, he checked under the bowl and then stared at the noodles. "No sign of Amon's identity here," he said before wolfing down the noodles. "How about you Pabu; have you found anything?"
Pabu raised his head out of his noodle bowl and shook his head 'no'.
"Oh, well," Bolin said.
The waiter approached the table with the bill in his right hand. "Your bill, sir," he said, setting it down on the table. "Thanks," Bolin said with a mouth full of noodles. The waiter rolled his eyes as he walked away.
"Now to pay the-" Bolin screamed when he saw the number he had to pay. "Well, Pabu, I don't know how this day could get any worse."
As soon as the words left his lips, a man wielding electrified kali sticks entered the restaurant. "If anyone in here is a bender, then pay attention, because I'm about to electrify one of your bending heroes!" the Lieutenant declared. He ran over to Bolin's table and prepared to zap him.
"Hey, it's you, what's your face!" Bolin greeted his enemy. "So how have you been?" The Lieutenant swung his sticks at the Earthbender who ducked out of the way. "Okay, look, I'm a little short on cash and I know you have some dough," Bolin explained.
"You're kidding, right? Why should I help you pay your bill?" The Equalist asked in disbelief.
"Because we both know I could kick your butt right now of I wanted to. And, I know you want to give a good report to your boss, so just hand over the cash and I'll say you took me down but I just barely escaped," Bolin elaborated.
"You think I actually brought my wallet with me? I had no idea this would happen!" the Lieutenant was awestruck at the situation happening at the moment.
Bolin pondered this for a few seconds. "Hey, waiter, could you please come here for a second?" he called out.
The terrified waiter came over to the two of them. "Y-yes, Mister Bolin?" he asked.
"He is a bender; quick, zap him with your sticks," Bolin whispered.
The Lieutenant's sticks lit up and electrocuted the waiter within seconds. "Well, that was pretty satisfying," the Lieutenant admitted.
"There, now you got to zap a bender and I get to leave without paying. Bye!" Bolin grabbed Pabu and bolted out of the restaurant.
"Stupid kid," The Lieutenant scoffed before exiting the establishment.
Back on Air Temple Island, Mako and Asami sat where they had been earlier that day. "Ah! I still have it in my head!" Mako complained.
"I know, me too," said Asami.
Korra and Tenzin were walking up from the bottom of the island to where Mako and Asami were. The couple could hear their conversation. "Okay, so in theory, since Ty Lee was a chi blocker, Amon is definitely her son and therefore, Amon's true identity is Ty Lee's son, without question," Tenzin explained.
"Yes, but there were other chi blockers out there, Tenzin," Korra was once again irritated with Tenzin's crack theories. "Besides, Ty Lee was sweet and nice. She never would have taught her son to do that."
"Whatever you say; I am tired of listening to your negative attitude," Tenzin said.
"WELL, I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOUR NONSENSE!!!" Korra yelled.
"Must you always yell at me like that? I can't believe my kind-hearted father was re-incarnated into a hot-headed loud-mouth!" "So, I'm guessing you guys didn't find anything out either?" Asami questioned, trying to end their conversation.
"No, and it sounds like you guys had the same amount of luck," Korra responded.
Just then, Bolin came running to them. "Sorry guys, Pabu and I searched as hard as I could, but we couldn't find any information," he said, faking as if he were out of breath.
"Sure you were, bro," Mako said, sarcastically. "Asami and I went to Kwong's while you and Pabu were stuffing your faces." "We left, because it was really disgusting," Asami added. Bolin's cheeks turned pink.
"Well, I guess all we can do now is wait for whichever episode reveals Amon's identity," Tenzin stated. "Although, I'm still betting he's definitely Ozai's son who hates benders for taking his father's bending away."
"Yeah, so I guess we just blew a whole day for nothing," Bolin said, glumly. "But, hey, look on the bright side! At least it's a nice evening!" At that moment, rain started pouring down from the sky.
"You had to jinx us, didn't you, Bo?" Mako said, getting in one last sarcastic remark.
- I know that we all know Amon's identity is Noatak, but this was written before the book one season finale.
For the collective works of the author, go here.