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|By Jeff The Hippie||Genre||Rating||Reviews||Updates|
|More from Jeff The Hippie||Comedy, Action/Adventure||PG-13||None|
|"Always listen. You just might hear."|
Bumi giving Aang some wise advice
|The Fresh King of Omashu|
Jeff The Hippie
October 16, 2011
"Come on, Aang," Katara said, trying to cure Aang of his depression. He couldn't get over how he had left Kyoshi to burn. "It really isn't your fault."
"Yes it is!" he snapped, trying to meditate. "I got high and I wasn't able to protect those people from emo boy. What good is an Avatar that can't even protect people? I might as well jump from Appa right now so these people can get a half decent Avatar in a few years."
"You forgot that we needed to leave. Big deal. It's better that we did leave instead of staying to fight. He wasn't there to burn the entire place; just to capture you."
"Yeah, and they were only there to capture me when they invaded the Air Temple and we all remember how that turned out. All I ever do is run away... Why'd I get stuck with Airbending?! How am I supposed to fight people who can make fire shoot from their fingertips with air?!"
"You got Airbending because of your peaceful nature," she said gently. She knew playing the peace card always made him feel better. "You're a friend, not a fighter."
"Sometimes to be a good friend you need to stick up for that friend when they can't defend themselves. If you can't even protect your closest friend... What good are you anyway?"
Things got quiet quickly.
"Hey," said Sokka, breaking the silence. "I don't mean to sound like an insensitive jerk but one of the Warriors kissed me."
"I doubt that," Aang said blankly and without emotion. "Your moves are more stale than a loaf of bread outside on a hot summer's day."
"Are you sure it was a dude? I'm just asking because it's highly likely that it was a man dressed up like a girl like you were doing." Katara giggled. Sokka got angry.
"So," said Katara with a friendly smile. "Where are we going next?"
"Omashu," he responded. "Maybe if we're lucky we won't have to leave when it's on fire."
Appa landed and Aang was the first one off.
"Ya know," Sokka said as he slowly made his way off of Appa. "You may have been in that iceberg for a hundred years but you've sure aged into a crotchety old man."
Aang walked right up to him and stared him dead in the eye. "Hey dummy," he said, his left eyebrow raised above the other way in inquisition. "What's the sound of one hand clapping?" Sokka thought about it for a few seconds and shrugged. Aang slapped him right across the face.
"Now you know."
"Hey!" he shouted, rubbing his face. "I was taught good on Kyoshi. Don't make me show you what I learned."
"Maybe you should have opted for grammar lessons while you were there."
"This is your last warning, Aang!" he warned. "Don't make me show you what I've learned."
"Sokka," Aang said peacefully. "No disrespect, but if you challenge me to a fight or duel of any kind it will only last a few seconds. The next thing that you know you'll be in a hospital getting my shoe taken out of your ass." Then he shot some air at him, knocking him on his ass. "There. Now I can't kick it. You're welcome."
"Anyway," he said as he walked away from Sokka. "I'll need a disguise to get into the city. You two go and rummage through your belongings and find me something more..." He looked at his clothes. "Discreet." After ten minutes the duo returned with Water Tribe clothes, an old, beat up, patched up top hat, and some baby powder. The only thing they didn't have were normal shoes. After thirty minutes behind a rock Aang came out, a new man. A white man, to be exact.
"Aang," said Katara, completely flabbergasted at his attire. "I don't even recognize you!"
"Hey!" he whispered, shaking his head. "I'm not Aang anymore." She nodded, understanding. From there they walked the narrow road into the city. "I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes but it's home to me and I walk alone." he sang.
"What do you mean?" asked Katara. "We're standing right next to you."
"Ugh. It's just a song."
"No, my cabbages!" a man yelled as his produce fell to the depths off the cliff.
"Damn," said Aang as he approached. "That was rough."
"You're telling me," the salesman said. "It's not like cabbages grow on trees!"
"Actually, they grow from the ground but that's not the point."
"What is the point?"
Aang looked the man over several times. "You're in the wrong line of work." The man stared at him. "I mean, you're clearly not getting rich from selling these cabbages, am I right?"
"Ha! Me? Rich? Yeah right. I wish."
Aang looked around. "... Would you like to be?" The man nodded. "Rocks." was all he said. The man looked confused, so Aang elaborated a bit. "Dude, all ya gotta do is sell rocks."
"Yeah, man. Rocks are addictive. Sell 'em for cheap, get 'em hooked and at that point you can charge whatever you want!"
"Y-you... You mean people will pay for rocks?!"
"Hell yes! Do it, man. You'll be the only dealer in Omashu. In fact, you would be one of the two, maybe three dealers in the Earth Kingdom!"
He thought it over. "Yeah, sure. Why not? It can't be worse than selling cabbages." They fist pounded.
"By the way," he said. "You wouldn't happen to know where a brotha could pick up some Afro Sheen, would you?"
"Nevermind." From there the gang went on.
"State your business," said one guard, holding a boulder over Aang's head.
Aang simply stared at him for a moment. "I am white." he replied.
"Yes," said the man with the boulder awkwardly. "What will you be doing?"
"White people things."
The boulder man was clearly confused. "and?!"
"Hanging out with white people."
The Earthbender was clearly angry now. "You will state your business right now or face the consequences!"
"I will eat white people food, play white people games and sing white people songs."
"Unless you explain yourself you will not be welcome in Omashu!"
"I have explained myself!"
"You are not welcome here. Leave."
Aang stared at him for about five seconds. "That's racist!" he yelled loud enough for everyone around to hear.
The guard was definitely caught off guard by that (see what I did there?). "W-wh-what?!" he stammered.
"You're racist. The king's racist! The guards are racist and maybe even the people of Omashu are racist!"
A crowd quickly began to grow around them. "N-no!" the guard argued. "It's not true! He's lying, I swear!" Sadly for him the crowd wasn't listening to him.
"This racist," Aang began. "Is not allowing me entrance into the great city of Omashu simply because of the color of my skin!" The crowd was in an uproar yelling at the man. "Are we not all people? Are whites and Asians all that different? Do we not both feel pain when we are hurt? Do we both not love? Do we both not cry when we are in emotional turmoil? Why can we not all just learn to love each other on this beautiful earth that we were given?"
"It's not true!" the Earthbender tried to explain. "I denied him entrance because he said he would go and do 'white people things'!"
"Ya see that?!" Aang shouted over the people. "Not only does he assume that all white people are bad people but even worse, when I do explain myself to him all he hears is 'white people stuff'!"
"Let him in!" the crowd chanted several times.
The guard looked at his buddy. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" he yelled. "Fine. I'll let the twerp in." The crowd cheered.
"Ah," Aang said peacefully. "And as I take my first step into the city of Omashu I take yet another step; a metaphorical step toward peace among and for all."
"We'll just need your names."
"First name Yo," Aang said. "Last name Mama." The guard didn't dare say anything.
They entered the city. "Alright then," the other guard said. "Enjoy Omashu."
"By the way," Aang said as the guard walked away. "Do you know if there's any Afro Sheen in this city anywhere?"
"I don't think so," he replied. "You could ask the king but you'd have to work pretty hard to get his attention."
"Gotcha. Thanks, man."
"You don't think I'm racist, do you?" asked the one guard to the other.
"Oh, no. You're fine."
The gang looked the city over; it was beautiful to say the least.
"Look," Aang said, pointing. "The Omashu Delivery System. Fast, rickety and dangerous." He pointed at a man as he walked by. "Kinda like sex with yo mama!" The man got offended and walked away.
"You say that as if you've been on it," said Sokka.
"You'd be surprised."
"Come on, man," called Aang's friend. "Get in!"
"Bumi, do you really think this is a good idea? The cops would have no problem throwing a poor kid and a nigger in prison."
"The cops aren't like that. All cops are good; right now, anyway. And yes, this is a terrific idea! You just need to open your mind."
"Are you implying that I'm not open minded?"
"... Make some room in that cart."
"Hey, Aang; wanna drop acid before we go down?"
"One ride," Aang said. "Then we'll be on our way."
"Aang," said Katara with a tinge of fear in her voice. "I think I'm having second thoughts about this."
"Second thoughts are for people who fear adventure and fun." He leaned forward to increase suspense. "Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh," he said quickly as he did so. Then they were off! "When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I got for a ride 'til I get to the bottom and I see you again!" he sang as they shot down the thing. "Hold on tight, Bill!" he said to Bill who was inside his hat at the time.
Katara was the first to notice the spears on the track next to them.. "Let's race them!" she suggested. All three (and Bill, but it didn't really help) leaned forward. They got way ahead of it.
"Do you, don't you want me to love you?" Aang sang. "I'm comin' down fast but I'm miles above you. Tell me, tell me, tell me; Come on tell me the answer! Well you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer!" Then he looked behind at his friends and noticed the spears were now on the same track as them. They had merged and now the weapons were coming straight for them! "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is... Well, turn around." They did. "Don't worry," he assured. "If I just use my-"
"No!" Sokka yelled at the top of his lungs in fear as he shook the cart. "I want to live! I want to live!" Suddenly the cart fell off the track. They rode it around the city until they somehow got back onto the track.
"Helter Skelter! Helter Skelter! Helter Skleter! Yeah!" he sang.
"That sounds like the Devil's music!" shouted Katara.
Of course, they came off the track again, destroying many things that were in their way until they finally stopped.
"Now I've just gotta sell off the rest of these cabbages so I can start my new life as a 'rocks dealer'," said the cabbage man.
CRASH! Katara, Aang and Sokka smashed him cart and cabbages to pieces.
"My cabbages!" he exclaimed.
"And that, my friends," Aang said, dusting off his jacket and pants. "Is how you fuck up a mail system."
"You destroyed my cabbages!" the salesman yelled.
"Look at it this way," Aang said. "I reduced your inventory. Now you can move on to sellin' dem rocks."
Suddenly the police were all over them. "Katara," said Aang. "I think our trip to the North Pole will have to be postponed until further notice."
The po-po led them to the king himself. Katara and Sokka didn't dare look anywhere but straight due to their crippling fear. Aang on the other hand looked all around. He had visited the city several times before but he was never allowed to visit the palace. The tapestries were exquisite. The paintings were lifelike. The combination of dark and light greens made it the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Being an Air Nomad he didn't care much for money or material possessions. Therefore he had never seen anything nearly as magnificent.
"All according to plan," he said slyly to Katara.
"Your majesty," one cop began.
"Kiss up," Aang interrupted.
The cop looked at him angrily then continued. "These juveniles were arrested for extreme vandalism."
"Is it because I'm white?"
"You will be respectful when you are before the king!" one guard yelled.
"You're the one yelling and raising your voice."
The king stared intently at Aang, mostly because he showed no fear. Sokka's eyes were fearfully pleading for him. Katara's were nicely asking him to forgive them. They were immovable like Stonewall Jackson. Aangs were cold and solid, as usual. He stared fear right in the fangs; no emotion, no remorse. He was a face without a soul.
"Throw them..." said the king in an attempt to change Aang's expression. He failed. "A feast! They seem hungry. Besides, maybe the white kid will turn happy if he gets some food in his tummy!"
Suddenly, food! Thousands of them!
"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!" the old king cackled in a weird Seth Rogan-y way as he walked around the children. "The people in my city have gotten fat from too many feast; so I hope you like your chicken with no skin."
"Actually," Aang began. "I prefer my chicken with skin, deep fried, covered in hot sauce and grease... This is cool too though."
"Heh-heh-heh! You remind me of an old friend."
"I assume you say an old friend because he's dead. I work out all day every day and I can hardly eat like that."
"No, no, no," he said, shaking his head. "He's not dead. Might as well be, though. Haven't seen him in quite a while."
They all got quiet.
"So," Aang said. "I've got a straightforward question for you and I'll need a straightforward answer right back; is there or isn't there any Afro Sheen in this city?"
"No," he replied.
"Yeah... I didn't think so..."
The king stared at him for a moment. "It's quite strange that you would ask such a question," he said. "What ever would a little white kid need with Afro Sheen?"
Aang dropped his chicken. "Uh... M-my friend. He's looking-he's got a birthday and I-I-I ju-"
"So, you're all from the Water Tribe?" They nodded. "That's also quite an oddity. I mean, there aren't that many white folks in either Poles."
"Well, I gue-"
"Nice shoes, by the way. Ya never see shoes like those."
"Yeah... Thanks." Aang began to perspire at that point.
"Oh, and please take off your hat. It's not polite to wear hats indoors, ya know."
"I... I can't. I'm very sensitive about my hair. I'd like to keep it on if that's okay with you."
"Oh, yes, of course." He walked and stood right across the table from Aang. "Oh, by the way," he began softly. "Nixon was the greatest president ever!"
Aang slammed his fists on the table, got up and stood up on the table. "Bullshit! Nixon fucked up worse than any other president ever! He couldn't even get us out of Vietnam fast enough. Nixon didn't know how stupid he was. Fair enough, he did end the Vietnam War, but it took him way longer than he had assured. Then he had the nerve to start the even dumber war on drugs to cover up the painfully obvious fact that the Vietnam War was the dumbest thing anyone had ever done just so people's fear of drugs would distract them from the all stupidity! All that did was make people afraid of pot for no reason. Sure, maybe he wasn't the main leader in the war on drugs, but he got the ball rolling when he could have instead worked to legalize those things! Ever since then good people have been arrested for possession of such a small amount of pot that they couldn't even smoke it! And I'm not even gonna get into Watergate."
The king was leaning against a pillar, his old arms crossed in the satisfaction of catching him. "Aha!" he shouted. "Avatar visions!"
"Dammit, I'm boned."
"Ya got that right, Avatar. Or Mr. Yo Mama, depending on what alias you're using."
"Well, we'd better get going," said Katara, pulling Sokka from his chair.
"Not so fast," said the old man. "Tomorrow the Avatar will face three deadly challenges. But for now the guards will take you to your chamber." And they did.
Once Aang got into the room he let Bill out of his hat.
"I guess we should try to find a way out," said Katara, looking around the room for options.
"No. I'm not gonna try to escape. That would be extremely dishonorable."
"You mean we're not even gonna try to escape?" asked Sokka.
"Man, you're always complaining about something. Anyway, no. I'm gonna go meditate for an hour and smoke some pot, then I'll sleep for six hours, wake, meditate for an hour and smoke, then train until it's time for the challenges; but for now I'm going to go shower all of this stuff off of me." He took a few steps then turned back around and looked at Sokka. "By the way, has anyone ever told you that your voice cracks a lot? Because it does. A lot."
"You're just jealous that I'm going through puberty and you're not."
"Oh, yeah. I really wish I could go through an awkward phase for several years where I get pimples all over my body and my voice cracks a lot when I talk to girls." From there he went and did his schtuff.
The next morning...
Knock, knock, knock, came from the door of the bathroom that he was training in to let Katara and Sokka sleep.
"Yo," he replied.
"The king will see you now."
Aang emerged from the bathroom sweaty, shirtless, and fixing his hair (sounds like a porno, I know). He looked around and realized his friends were no longer there. Still he kept his composure.
"Oh," he said. "So you went the 'kidnap his friends to keep him here' route. How original."
"Hand over your glider." the guard ordered.
"You're doing the no emotion thing almost as well as I do it." He grabbed the glider and threw it at the guard, making him fall over. "My bad."
Finally the guard got up and led him to the king.
"First Avatar," the king said. "What do you think of my new outfit? I want your honest opinion."
Aang looked it over. It was light and dark purple; very flamboyant. "It's alright," he said. "I suggest that instead of light and dark purple you get the same outfit in dark purple and dark green to show your kingliness and show over what your kingliness is."
"Hm," the king said. "Not a bad idea."
"Okay, let's get to work."
"What?" the king asked, baffled. "Do you not wish to know what has become of your friends?"
"Honestly, I don't care. I assume they're being held over a cauldron of boiling acid and every second they get lowered a bit or there's a bomb or something stupid like that that we've seen a hundred other times. Honestly, I just wanna get this done and go."
"You're close! You're friends a-"
"Look at my hand," he said, holding out an empty hand. "In it are all of the fucks I will give to you." He looked at the hand and made a fake surprised face. "Oh no!" he said sarcastically. "My fucks! Where have all my fucks gone? Oh my, now I have no fucks to give. Not a single fuck!"
The king nodded. "I see. Moving on then!"
They led him to the first challenge. The king had so many guards around himself, Aang, Katara and Sokka that there was no chance of anyone doing anything but his challenges.
"It seems I've lost my lunchbox key and I'm hungry!" the crazy old man said after he let out a long, cackling laugh. "Ooh, there it is!" he said, pointing to the key which was hanging from a chain inside a waterfall. "Would you mind fetching it for me?"
"Would I mind?" asked Aang, stretching and cracking his joints. "Motherfucker, I'm about to Sonic the Hedgehog this bitch."
He jumped from the balcony he was standing on to the wall right next to it. He shot himself off the wall into the waterfall. He was shot right out and slammed into a wall on the opposite side.
"Well," said the king smugly. "I don't know who this Sonic the Hedgehog character is, but he must not be very smart!"
"That was just my first attempt!" He breathed heavily, hanging from that wall for about a minute. Then he jumped up and started running, faster than a cheetah. He was moving so fast that he was a black and blue blur! Then once he reached maximum speed running, he sprung off the walls like a pinball game. Slowly but surely he approached the key. He was almost there. One, two, yoink! He blasted through the waterfall and snatched the key straight from the dangling chain (insert bad dirty joke that my unfunny friends would make here). He stopped where he began, hanging sideways above the balcony like a sideways frog. He dropped the key and jumped down. "Now what?"
The king smiled evilly in response and led Aang to the next room.
"Lemme get this straight," said Aang, dumbfounded. "All I gotta do is get your pet?!"
"Don't always take things at face value," the king said in a mysterious way.
Aang jumped down into the pit. There before him was the animal. This task was too easy and he knew it. Then, bam! He turned around and saw the biggest mammal he had ever seen.
"Crap." He sprung into the air just fast enough to not be crushed to death by the beast's big, meaty paws. For at least thirty seconds straight he dodged the monstrosity as it swung at him. Then it dawned on him. "You're Flopsy, huh?" The monster instantly calmed down and ran to its owner. "Come on, man. Let's get this show on the road." Again he was led to yet another room.
"Okay, now what?" When he received no response he turned around to see that the king had ditched him. Something was odd, though; the guards were still there. He knew this would be part of the challenge. He turned back around and went to the end of the balcony to find a note. On it was a riddle. It read "What's hard, surprising, and doesn't belong?" While he was pondering what the possible answer could be he suddenly got hit from behind, sending him flying into the air. Despite his best efforts he still landed on his face. When he got up and turned around he found the king, standing before him, much larger and more muscular than he had previously imagined.
"The answer is a rock in your ass!" the king proclaimed, laughing hard.
"That was incredibly unfunny." Aang commented. A guard threw his glider to him.
"Oh, like you're any better. Please, do tell us another joke about Nixon!" Then he shot three mammoth boulders at him that he barely dodged. "You can't dodge me forever! You'll have to attack eventually."
"That's what emo boy said," Aang explained, literally running circles around the old Earthbender. "And I didn't have to hit him once!"
The king sent a wave of earth at him, knocking him into a wall. He threw several rocks at him too, but he successfully evaded each one.
"Oh, how ingenious of you, Avatar!" the king said sarcastically. "Run along the walls. Now there's nothing I can do to you!" With one simple arm movement he collapsed the part of the wall he was on, crushing him. WHOOSH! He blew the rocks away after about five seconds of being under the rocks. SLAM! Too bad the king had expected that and sent a rock fist to meet him when he got up. Again he went down. This time he didn't get up. He was prepared to throw in the towel.
"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!" the king laughed evilly. "It's true what I've heard about you; you're weak. You couldn't fight you way out of a paper bag! All you can do is run and hide and lose and fail. You're an Uncle Tom. That's what you are. And besides that you're always the weakest Avatar to ever live! You might as well kill yourself right now so we can get a half decent Avatar in a few years. It's the only good your weak, puny self could do for us."
Aang lifted his head. "Wh... What'd you call me?"
"I called you many things; weak, puny, Uncle Tom-"
"Don't call me that!" he shouted from the floor.
"What are you gonna do about it?"
Aang was bleeding and had a black eye, but his anger was fueling him. Aang sprung from the floor and knocked the old king in the jaw. Then he knocked him in the knees and made him fall. From there he jumped into the air and with his glider began cutting the air into sharp pieces and shot them at his opponent like a whip. When he came down he hit him on the head with his glider. The king fell on his face, but Aang wasn't finished just yet. He pulled him up by his hair and started choking him with his glider.
"Say it again!" Aang challenged with an evil fire burning in his body. "Call me that again, I dare you! If you call me that again I will cram this glider so far down your throat that you'll be shitting splinters for your entire life!"
The king still laughed insanely; uncontrollably, like the Joker. "Do it then! You wouldn't want to make an Uncle Tom out of yourself, would you?! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Aang continued for a few more seconds, then closed his eyes and let him go. "No... That's not who I am."
"I knew you couldn't do it!" the king said, laughing as he rose. They were silent for a while. "Which is why you pass." Aang went wide eyed. "Now there's just one more test." He nodded. "What's my name?" Immediately after asking the question he sunk into the ground and Aang went to the balcony.
"So that's what he did to you," he said as he came upon Sokka and Katara.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Sokka from within his crystal tomb. "The crystals are growing quickly. We'll talk later. Solve the riddle!"
"I don't think it's a riddle..." He began to consider everything he knew about the king. "I know his name!" Within a few seconds they were once again face to face with the crazy old lunatic. "I figured out your name through all the clues you gave me. You mentioned Nixon, you knew how to piss me off. Bumi, you're bonkers."
The madcap laughed as he hugged Aang. "It's nice seeing you again." He looked up at the entombed siblings and freed them. "Jennamite is made of rock candy!"
Aang face-palmed harder than he had ever face-palmed before. "If I had listened to you I would have known! Everybody knows jennamite is rock candy!"
"Always listen. You might just hear," said Bumi, the wise old man that he was.
Then he turned to Sokka. "Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't try to eat it. You do with everything else."
"The king laughed. "Aang, you've still got it." Then he got serious. "Aang, you already know what must be done, so I'm not going to waste your time. Master the elements, defeat Ozai, etc. Work hard with your friends and you'll be successful." Aang bowed.
"Thanks, Bumi," Aang said. "One thing though; how'd you become king?"
Bumi was silent for a moment then shrugged. "The writers never explained it to me either."
He and his friends were about to leave when Bumi called him back. "One last thing!" he said. "Hold out your hand." Aang did.
"LSD blotters, magic mushrooms and a bag of pot?"
"Trust me, Aang; when the time comes, you'll know."
- I first got the "one hand clapping" idea when my brother said something stupid on our way to school. I knew it was funny because after I slapped him he laughed instead of whined.
- The "shoe taken out of your ass" idea, again, came to me when my brother jokingly asked me to fight him.
- The song Aang sang as they walked on the narrow road was Green Day's 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' from their American Idiot album. I thought it would be kinda funny because I've never been able to get over the irony of how in the video while he sings "I walk this lonely road," and "I walk alone," his fellow band-mates are standing right beside him. (Interesting thing: Boulevard of Broken Dreams is very similar to Oasis' 'Wonderwall'. Check it out.)
- The song Aang was singing as the gang rode down the cart in the delivery system was the Beatles' 'Helter Skelter'. I thought it would be appropriate since the song is about a slide and it's a fast paced song like how they were riding the system. Also, Katara saying the song sounded like the Devil's music is a reference to how when Metal first started many people (mainly out of touch parents and priests) claimed that it was all about worshiping Satan. (P.S. Helter Skelter was the first real Metal song ever recorded. Before that there was proto-Metal like Jimi Hendrix and Cream, but Helter Skelter was the first one that had not even a tinge of Psychedelic roots.)
- The "Suddenly, food!" thing is a reference to a meme. It's okay if you didn't laugh. You've probably never heard of them anyway.
- Every time I read Aang saying "Dammit, I'm boned," I read it in Bender's voice (the robot character from Futurama in case you were wondering).
- Yes, I meant to spell it like "schtuff".
- When it described Aang as a face without a soul it was a reference to Status Quo's song 'Face Without a Soul' off their Essential Parts album (their last Psychedelic Rock album).
- The "big meaty paws" part is a reference to SpongeBob even though they said, "big meaty claws".
- The "The madcap laughed" part is a reference to Syd Barrett's solo album 'The Madcap Laughs' which he made after he was forced to leave Pink Floyd after overdosing on acid and essentially losing his mind.
For the collective works of the author, go here.