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|Shine On You Crazy Diamond|
March 15, 2011
Shine On You Crazy Diamond is the fifth chapter in the fanon story. It will deal with Azula going through even more mental turmoil as the Dai Li hunt her down.
RunThe only thing Azula could do at her current situation was run. She was running from Long Feng, running from Zuko if he was ever able to discover her survival, from her fears, from her past, all she could do was run. The only problem was that she had no specific place to run. She certainly couldn't go back to the Fire Nation, she couldn't go behind the wall of Ba Sing Se, and she couldn't stay in one spot for too long. For nearly three weeks, all she did was run.
During the time she spent barely evading the Dai Li, she didn't have enough time to beg in any towns in order to get a bearable amount of money for food, her new diet consisted of roots and nuts. Day after day, she got skinnier and skinnier and as she did, she got weaker and weaker as she continued to evade the Dai Li. She also was too afraid that an agent would slit her throat if she fell asleep, so she lost many nights of rest. Every now and then, a pair of agents would find her and get into a brief skirmish. She would be able to fend them off, but they noticed her growing weakness and frailty from her lack of food and sleep. Nevertheless, Long Feng remained persistent.
Azula was thinking of a spot where she might be able to evade the Dai Li for a while. She couldn't go north or south, that was covered in forest and the Di Li were sure to look there. The east was both in the direction of Ba Sing Se and had a large range of mountains. Westward would bring her to the shoreline, where she would be easy to spot. The only direction she could go was in southwest, in the direction of the Si Wong Desert, a good place for her to go because the Dai Li weren't likely to look there, and finding a fugitive in the Si Wong Desert is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. So she persisted to head southwest.
Caught in the Middle
Last night Azula was able to get a few hours of much-needed sleep, and she woke up laying against a spindly tree. The hotter climate and the rough terrain suggested that she was near the Si Wong Desert, and water was getting more and more scarce for her. She looked around and saw a small, clear pond. It looked promising, so she scurried over to the pond and took a few sips of water from it. When she looked down into the pond after the water settled, her reflection showed a skinny, dirty, unkempt young woman who was once beautiful and clean. Disgusted by the reflection's image, Azula yelled out and shot fire into the pond, distorting the image, and started to cry.
"You do not look that bad," the voice of a woman said to Azula.
Azula looked back into the pond and saw none other than her mother, Ursa. "What do you care," Azula responded in a harsh voice while wiping away her tears. "You never loved me, nobody ever truly loved me."
"That is what you forced yourself to believe," the Ursa's hallucination responded, "I loved you and Zuko with all of my heart."
"Then why did you leave me," Azula roared back.
"Her words are false, undoubtedly," responded a voice of a man. Azula looked back into the pond and saw the face of none other than her father, Ozai. "You really believe her lies of love and compassion if she didn't even give a damn about you? If she left you to suffer with me, why would she love you?"
"This does not concern you, Devil," Ursa barked, "you will corrupt her no further!"
"Guardian, you have no sense of intelligence," The Ozai hallucination answered, "If she had any good in her, she would have been cleared up by now, she is clearly voided of good."
"No, she is not."
"Stop this," Azula demanded, "who are you two?"
"We are the representation of the conflict and turmoil that is going on inside of you," the Guardian answered, "I guard you and try to prevent you from being further corrupted. I took this form because I thought it would be more appealing to you."
"Then that means you are my puppet when it comes to getting it my way," the Devil responded, "the further you stray towards evil, the stronger I grow, and for nearly your whole life you made me nearly invincible, but you are straying back to the Guardian, it is slightly getting more powerful, but not a match for me."
"If she continues choosing the right path, the path to redemption," roared the Guardian, "I will grow strong enough to destroy you once and for all!"
As the good spirit roared this out, all of a sudden Azula was engulfed by darkness and there was nothing in sight but her and the pond. Then out of the pond rose the Devil and the Guardian, but now the good spirit took the form of Avatar Roku, and the evil spirit took the form of Fire Lord Sozin. Azula realized that their rivalry represented her inner battle, and that the black void represented the emptiness of her own psyche, and how others had to fill it in order for her to have a true personality.The two spirits then faced each other and started to hurdle massive waves of fire at each other. The Devil blasted out blinding blue fire while the Guardian blasted out strong red fire. As the two blasts collided, they were equal in power, but then the Devil's fire began to grow larger. Eventually the Devil's fire surpassed the Guardian's and it was blasted backwards. The Guardian stood up and took the form of a red dragon, and the Devil took the form of a blue dragon.
They both flew up and began blasting fire at each other in mid air. When they both stopped blasting fire they flew at each other and began taking a more physical level and began clawing and gnashing at each other. They stopped in mid air, both bleeding and slightly burned, and further blasted fire and drove each other's teeth into the other. For what seemed like hours they shifted from form to form and battled each other for domination of her mind. It seemed never ending.
"Will you two ever stop fighting?" Azula asked loudly, still observing the duel.
They both stopped and looked down at her. The Guardian said to her still in its dragon form, "we can only decide a victor when you end your turmoil and become pure of heart, whether it is of pure good or evil. We are proof enough that you are turbulent within, but we both sense that our battle is near completion, and that you will decide your own future."
"If you gain a heart of pure evil, I will finally be able to destroy the other one," The Devil responded. "If you gain a heart of pure good, I will become powerless to the other one."
"I don't want to deal with this any more," Azula roared out, "I have no idea what to do, where to turn, or even what to do if I have the slightest knowledge of what is good or bad, I am confused, I have no idea what to do. If I don't find any sort of guidance, I feel that I will go even more insane than I am at the moment." She then looked up and started to cry and scream. "WILL THIS SUFFERING EVER END!"
When she was screaming out and throwing a fit, Azula left the representation of her mind and her turmoil. She was right back at the pond where she had her hallucination. But it was more than a simple hallucination, it was more of a vision, to show her what she had become and what is going on deep inside her psyche. It was unbearable to somebody with a frail mind like hers.
As she continued to sob from her traumatic experience, she pulled out a small knife that she found while she was traveling for five years. She put it against her wrist, wishing to end it all right there and then, but she couldn't muster up enough courage and willpower to do so. She instead grabbed a tuft of her own hair, and used the knife to cut it off. Now she held onto another tuft and cut that off, too. She continued this until her hair was only about an inch or two long, she looked back into the pond, satisfied with her new appearance.
She then walked off, with tear stains on her cheeks and her new, much shorter hair and headed off further away from the spot she was at. Hoping to put this behind her, she thought this was the last time she would have a traumatic experience like this one. But not for the first time, she was wrong.
- The name of the good spirit within Azula is of pure coincidence similar to the popular fanon story, "Guardian".
- This chapter was meant to drill deeper into Azula's psyche, as Kilo99 felt he wasn't doing this very well with the first four chapters.
- This chapter's title is reminiscent of the nine part Pink Floyd song of the same name from the album Wish You Were Here, as this song was a tribute to former band member Syd Barrett, who went mentally insane.
- When Azula cut her hair short was reminiscent of Syd Barrett, who when he lost his sanity, shaved all of his hair (including his eyebrows).
For the collective works of the author, go here.
|Corruption and Redemption Chapters|
|Book 1: Struggles|
|- - - - - - - - - - Ultamatum part 1, The Threat - Ultamatum part 2, The Attack|