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This article is considered humorous and should not be treated too seriously.
Family Reunion is the fourth and most dialogue filled chapter to the thrilling epic, Super Cool Ultimate Avatar Hot Tub. The story takes place six years prior to Aang's return.
After attacking an Earth Kingdom village, the Mechanist was hired to build a new Super Cool Ultimate Avatar Hot Tub of the same design as the one on Kyoshi.
After spending two years of relaxation in a former Earth Kingdom town inhabited by Fire Nation colonial people, still shirtless Iroh and wise but cranky Pakku decided to let a third party in the hot tub. This person was the Fire Nation dwarf slave that spent two years tied to the spa and being forced to heat the water up to 78' Degrees Fahrenheit. The slave was very excited to step into the spa and cure his two years of slave labor. Unfortunately for him, as a joke Pakku and Iroh left the spa and then froze the water as soon as he stepped foot in.
- Iroh: Ha ha ha, Pakku, you good ol' chap, you got him good!
- Pakku: Ha ha, nothing's more funnier than picking on small people!
- Slave: Hey... that's not funny... I spent two years heating up your water!
- Pakku: Yeah, but it took me two seconds to freeze it! Oh, the irony...
- Iroh: Ha ha... You know Pakku, I have been down here for 724 days, I haven't seen my family for that long! I think it's time for a family reunion... and you know, you should come too!
- Pakku: That sounds splendid... but one problem... your family is Fire Nation and I am Water Tribe...
- Iroh: Oh don't worry about that, I'll just tell them that it's cool.
- Slave: Hey! Get me out of here!
That night while the two old friends slept, the slave dwarf freed himself from the ice and approached three assassins to terminate Iroh and Pakku. Two of the assassins were acrobatic friends, Cho and Po, they specialized in punching people while the other Penelope, specialized in high level fire bending, he learned that so people wouldn't make fun of his girly name. The next morning, the three assassins entered inside Iroh and Pakku's room and began attacking, the smell of burning pillows woke the two elders.
- Cho: Surrender!
- Po: Cho, we are hired to kill them!
Pakku and Iroh got into attack position, but they were worn out from bathing for two years, so they both flopped on the floor after their first strikes.
- Cho (slapping Po's back): Well that was easy, don't you think so, Po?
- Po (slapping Cho's bottom and then winking): I think so, Cho!
Penelope grabbed Pakku's wrinkly body and stuck him on a table, Cho and Po grabbed Iroh's body and did the same thing. The two friends punched him in the back several times. Although rather than hurting Iroh, they just softened his skin like chocolate chip cookie dough, for the two years in the spa gave Pakku and Iroh invulnerable skin, among one of the side affects. This also brought Iroh to full consciousness, allowing him to fight again.
- Cho (scratching head): Well golly Po, what do we do now?
- Po (shrugging): I don't know, Cho!
Penelope then attacked Iroh with his high level fire bending, Iroh dodged the fire blasts, but unfortunately the hot tub was destroyed by his fire. Tears dripped down Iroh's face, Iroh charged towards Penelope and knocked him to the ground and began punching him. Pakku then got up and saw what was happening, he then decided to join in, but not until after he ate a glazed donut.
- Iroh (punching Penelope): Take that! And that!
- Pakku: You took our Super Cool Ultimate Avatar Hot Tub, so we will take away something of yours!
Pakku then grabbed his machete and cut off Penelope's hand and foot. He then screamed from the top of his lungs. Since he couldn't generate fire from his limbs, he started spraying explosive fire from his mind and later gained the name "Combustion Man". Since Cho and Po were more distracted by each other and Penelope lost the good fight, Iroh and Pakku ran away and stole their Komodo Rhinos and began passing through the town.
- Iroh: Just like the good ol' days, isn't it Pakku?
- Pakku: How?
Iroh then stopped at the tea shop and said he had to use the restroom. After a few days of traveling by Komodo Rhino, Iroh and Pakku finally could see the Fire Nation Capital ahead. However, Iroh called for a break.
- Pakku: Iroh, why do you need a break? We are almost there!
- Iroh: I thought someone like yourself could use a rest... being old and all.
- Pakku: What? I'm just as old as you!
- Iroh: Actually, I am older...
- Pakku (slaps forehead): Ugh...
- Iroh: We could all use a rest.
- Pakku: Iroh, I..
- Iroh: A man needs his rest.
After two hours of napping, the two friends got up and were at the Capital door within three minutes. The capital building had a big banner that read "We Are Family!". Before entering the building the guard asked Iroh for his license because no one had seen him for two years, he also asked him for his birth certificate and his social security number. As Pakku started walking in, the guard stopped him and pointed to a sign that read "No Smoking".
- Pakku: What? I don't smoke!
- Iroh: Of course you don't, the sign says not to.
After walking, Pakku was stopped once again by the guard who pointed to a different sign that read "No Waterbenders".
- Iroh (shrugging): Looks like you have to stay outside in the hot sun, tough luck.
- Pakku (angry): Iroh!
- Iroh (to guard): It's cool, he's with me.
Pakku and Iroh then preceded to walk in, but were stopped by the guard again.
- Pakku: What now?
- Guard: Have fun!
- Pakku: Those soldiers are supposed to protect us, but they're just a bunch of thugs.
As they walked into the capital building and walked down the hall, Lu Ten, Iroh's son approached them.
- Iroh: Hey son!
- Lu Ten (mean attitude): Hey stupid.
- Iroh: Hey son, this is Pakku, Pakku this is Lu Ten
- Lu Ten: Hey stupid
- Pakku (whispering): This is the heir to the throne, he is a jerk...
- Iroh (laughing and whispering): Ha ha, good one.
- Lu Ten: Come on losers, we have a loser reunion inside the loser room... losers.
- Pakku (rolling eyes): I want to freeze you so bad...
- Iroh: Ha ha ha
- Ozai: Oh... hey Iroh...
- Iroh: Oh... hey Ozai...
- Ozai: So... how's it like being heir to the throne... sucks don't it?
- Iroh: Actually, it's pretty neat, I'm heir to the throne!
- Ozai: Well, if you ever get bored with it, you can always remove your birth right and I will become heir...
- Pakku and Iroh: Huh?
- Ozai: Oh... hey... you want some tea?
- Iroh (smiling): Yes, I would!
- Ozai: Yeah, well we all want things...
Lu Ten then started talking with his family while everyone waited for Fire Lord Azulon to wake from his nap so they could have dinner.
- Lu Ten: Hey Ursa, you are looking... prettier than usual!
- Ursa: Thank you!
- Lu Ten: Because usually, you look ugly!
- Ursa: Well thanks...
- Lu Ten: Hey Azula! What have you been up to
- Azula: Just practice...
- Lu Ten: What kind of practice? Being scary? Ha ha
- Azula: Precisely!
As Zuko got up, Lu Ten tripped him.
- Lu Ten: Have a nice trip! See you next autumn!
Zuko fell down and Ursa ran up to him for comfort.
- Ursa: Zuko, everything is alright.
- Zuko: I know, I just tripped and fell...
- Ursa: No. I loved watching you. That's who you are Zuko.
- Zuko: Someone who falls?
- Ursa: Someone who keeps fighting even though it's hard.
- Zuko: Not that again... you always say that... wait, you loved watching me?
Firelord Azulon then walked into the room while rubbing the sand out of his eyes and then stretching.
- Azulon: Hello family!
- Everyone: Hello Fire Lord, sir!
- Ozai: Hello dad
- Azulon: Oh sorry... I meant to say, Hello family and Ozai... I don't really count Ozai as family
- Ozai: ...
- Azulon: We shall eat!
- Iroh: Yes, we shall eat!
- Azulon: And discuss Iroh's future...
- Iroh: Oh...
- Azulon: Hey, Water Tribe is here! Arrest him!
- Iroh: No, it's cool, he's with me
- Azulon (smiling): Oh okay, I got it... favorite son!
- Ozai: ...
The Royal Fire Nation family and Pakku then feasted upon a wide variety of scrumptious meats in the dining room.
- Azulon: Hey, where are our drinks? That guy should of been here a long time ago...
- Ozai: Oh sorry, I banished him...
- Azulon: Ozai, silence. Prince Iroh, speak... how is the Super Cool Ultimate Avatar Hot Tub?
- Iroh: Unfortunately... exploded... we plan to rebuild somewhere else
- Azulon: How about somewhere in the Fire Nation?
- Iroh: No thank you, wouldn't it be more Fire Lord like if I would attack an Earth Kingdom territory for it?
- Azulon: Very true... just make sure Ozai doesn't help... he would just make matters worse.
- Ozai: ...
- Iroh: I was thinking Ba Sing Se... no one has ever broke through, right in the center I could make a Hot Tub.
- Azulon: Good idea Iroh! Your son should come to and help break down the wall!
- Lu Ten: Meh... whatever... I'll go as long as you can assure that I won't die...
- Pakku: Hey, me being the enemy in all... I don't think you should attack Ba Sing Se.
- Iroh: Would you rather have us attack the North Pole? Yeah, I don't think so...
- Azulon: Well then it is settled... today is a good day, I feel celebrating, we should launch some fireworks or something... oh, and I feel extra nice today, go send a hawk Zhao's way and promote him.
- Ozai: Sorry, I banished the fireworks guy and the hawk guy...
- Azulon: Ozai, how many people have you banished anyways?
- Ozai: You can go ask the guy who keeps track... oh wait, I banished him too...
Later that night as the sun set, Pakku and Iroh told each other goodbye as they would be parting from one another soon.
- Pakku: Iroh, you have been my best friend... well second best friend, me and Arnook go way back, but anyways... take care man.
- Iroh (starting to cry): You too, do you think we will ever see each other again?
- Pakku: Someday... hey, if the Fire Nation ever plans to attack the Water Tribe, make sure to come with, okay?
- Iroh: That sounds great... we went through so much together... but we must leave now. Good bye Pakkie, Good bye
Iroh and Pakku then hugged.
- Pakku: You know... you could get a shirt on already...
- Iroh: Nah, that's alright. It doesn't bother me.
Pakku then got into his canoe and headed to the North Pole and waved his final goodbye to Iroh. Once Pakku got home and laid his head onto his bed's pillow he remembered the crazy adventures him and Iroh had went through together, including the Kyoshi Warriors attacking him. Because of that instance, he then passed a law with Arnook to not allow women of their tribe to fight. Pakku missed his old friend, but the next morning when Iroh called a White Lotus meeting together just so he could get a back rub did not help.
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