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Fanon:Past of Despair

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Past of Despair
Chapter information

To BE but Not to BE





Written by




Release date

April 4th, 2012

Last chapter

Ships in Flames

Next chapter

Fanon:Temple of Freedom

"Wake up, wake up Elquiorra!"

Not wanting to, Elquiorra some how mustered up enough strength to sit up in his bed. Staring at him was a woman who had black eyes, dark long hair, and pale skin. She was smiling.

"Why do I have to get up so early in the morning mother," Elquiorra asked tiredly.

"Have you already forgot about it?" Elquiorra's mother questioned.

"Forgot about what?"

"It's your thirteenth birthday." Elquiorra's mother answered.

Elquiorra's eyes opened wide, he couldn't believe that he forgot today was his birthday.

"Now go put on your clothes so we can go shopping in the city."

Just before the now thirteen year old went to look for clothes in his closet, the door to the bedroom slammed open. Elquiorra turned to see his father in the door way. He had a hanger in his hands with clothes on it. Elquiorra's father had grey long silver hair and it was kept in a pony tail. His eyes were amber and he donned a white kimono.

"Hurry up and put this on. The governor wishes to speak with us," Elquiorra's father ordered.

"Can't the governor wait until tomorrow to see him? It's his birthday Abbas," the mother said desperately.

"No! This is urgent. It can not wait Amal!"

Elquiorra stood there in his room horrified at seeing his parents fuss. He had never experienced his parents fussing before and most of all, he never saw his own father being so forceful.

"Alright. He'll go see the governor," Amal said in despair.

She knew that once Elquiorra had met the governor, his life would be changed forever. Elquiorra put on the clothes his father ordered him to wear. His outfit consisted of a white jacket with a black line that ran down the middle of it, and a white hakama. It was the clothes that were traditionally worn by the Avatar of this Earth Kingdom city called Shulin Chaun.

The family of three exited the house and entered a red car. Because Elquiorra's family house was located just on the outskirts of Shulin Chaun, it would take a long time for them to reach the capital building. After a long hour of riding, the family finally made it to the capital building. The capital building was a large white mansion with an orange roof top. The family quickly exited the car awkwardly, not one person in the family of three was acting like they normally would. Elquiorra was to busy wondering why he had to meet the governor, Amal was greatly depressed right now, and Abbas was acting really emotionless. What ever reason that they were being summoned to the governor's office would throw this family into despair. The family walked up to the door of the mansion and were greeted by guards.

"Governor Chang has been expecting you. He is currently waiting for you all in his office," the officer informed as he opened the large wooden door for the trio.

Elquiorra, Amal, and Abbas walked up the stairs inside the mansion along with a group of guards. Elquiorra looked around at paintings and people on tours in the large building in amazement. This was his first time ever being in the capital building, and not many people were given the honor to be summoned here.


The family of three walked through the large, glowing metal door. In the room,

were three people wearing clothes that showed that they were part of The White Lotus. One of them was a woman and the other two were male. Behind a large wooden desk was an old man. He was no taller than four feet tall, the front of his head was bald, but he had long grey hair on the sides of his head. He also donned a green coat that was traditionally worn by governors of Shulin Chaun.

"Now that Elquiorra is here, we can finally start this meeting," Chang said in a serious voice.

"Elquiorra, listen closely," the man ordered. "We've known that you were a very special being since you made three years old. We just thought it was best to hide it from you until you made sixteen, but circumstances have changed," Governor Chang continued.

Elquiorra stood in front of everyone in the room completely still, waiting eagerly for the governor to reveal why he was truly here.

"Elquiorra. You are the third Avatar of Shulin Chaun."

The whole room suddenly fell into a deep silence. Elquiorra was so shocked that he couldn't speak a single word. He was the Avatar, one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Elquiorra then turned his head to see his mother. He expected a shocked look on her face, but he stared into the eyes of a sad woman. She knew how this city treated the Avatar. The two Avatars of Shulin Chaun before Elquiorra hated how their own city made rules that would not allow them to have any purpose in life, but to bring balance to the world by vanquishing evil. They were not allowed to have friends or loved ones because it was taught that those things were mere distractions for the Avatar.

"Elquiorra. You will no longer be allowed to speak to anyone besides your family and the people in this room. If you are caught disobeying my orders, you will suffer great consequences."

The Governor then proceeded to introducing the Avatar to the members of the White Lotus. The woman that was standing in the room was named Unohana. She was a skilled Airbending master. She was slender and a very youthful woman. She is also always seen with her long black hair in a front braid. On her left side was a man with grey long hair that wore a Fire Nation kimono. He was a powerful high ranking Firebender and his name was Zoran. On Unohana's right was Kapara. He was a middle aged man and is currently one of the strongest Waterbenders in the Northern Water Tribe. All of them would be responsible for teaching Elquiorra how to bend the other three elements.

"One more thing Elquiorra. Always remember this," the governor said."You're the Avatar, you're a weapon, a tool. You have no emotion or purpose. The only purpose you serve in this world is to master all of the elements and to defeat the Death God. A man who threatens to control the world."

The Sword that Cuts Through Despair

Five weeks had passed since Elquiorra was told that he was the Avatar. During those five weeks, Elquiorra had to go through harsh Firebending training. On this day, the Avatar returned home tired, just like the other days after his Firebending training. He quickly ran to the comfort of his room and sat down on his bed. Suddenly, he began to cry. During those weeks his life had been flipped upside down. He had no more friends, and his father wasn't acting like his normal self. Ever since Elquiorra was confirmed to be the Avatar, Abbas didn't treat him like a son anymore; instead he treated him like a mere tool.

"This is all because of you..."

"I have no friends because of you."

"I'm alone because of you."

"It's all because you Death God!" Elquiorra said as tears fell from his eyes and splashed onto the floor.

After every sob and every hard breath, the boy in despair hate grew towards the Death God. If it wasn't for the Death God overthrowing the leader of The United Republic, he could've still had three more years to enjoy his life. After experiencing this it became his only drive to become stronger. After this day, Elquiorra woke up to another morning of meditating, breathing exercises, and shooting fire out of his finger tips. Zoran noted that Elquiorra's Firebending training was coming along well, and that he would be able to master the art of Firebending before the year was finished. After yet another day of Firebending practice, Elquiorra headed back home. It was not long before the Avatar was on the doorsteps of his house. When he opened the door he expected to be met by a comforting hug from his mother like he received on many other days, but today he got something else. Instead of being met by his mother, he was met by Shulin Chaun Earthbending guards.

"Where's my mom," Elquiorra asked in an alarmed voice.

"Come with me Elquiorra," Abbas interrupted.

The Avatar turned quickly toward his father that was in the doorway of the exit to the living room. Elquiorra then followed his father into the long hallway that led to his mother's bed room. When Abbas opened the door to the room, what Elquiorra feared the most could probably be seen. He walked in the room to see his mother lying down in bed under a green cover. Abbas stood in the doorway while Elquiorra walked up to Amal who was looking more pale than ever.

"Mother..." the Avatar started but Amal started speaking.

"Elquiorra, you've always been the greatest son I could ever ask for. Even though I might not be here with you after this moment you must never give in to... you must never given into despair. If you do, you'll lose yourself in it," Amal said, using the little strength she had left.

"As the Avatar, your real job is to not kill the Death God. Your real job is to destroy despair wherever it exists. Take this sword and promise me that you will use it only to cut through despair," Amal continued as she pulled out a sword that was inside its case.

The case of the sword was black and the handle on the sword was dark green. It was Amal's most prized possession.

Just when Elquiorra opened his mouth to say something to his mother, she was gone. Elquiorra burst out into tears as he held his mother around the neck. He was never able to accept her promise.

Final Test

Three years had passed since Elquiorra had lost his mother. During that time Elquiorra had mastered firebending, waterbending, and airbending. Now that the new Avatar had mastered each of the four elements, Governor Chang announced that it was time for the Avatar to begin his journey within a week. Just after Elquiorra had heard about this announcement, the governor ordered him to find an animal guide. That animal guide was a badgermole, which Elquiorra named Kkuparuo. It was to be kept in the animal shelter until it was time for Elquiorra to begin his voyage. As another day of hard Avatar training was coming to an end, the weary Avatar was on his way to the comfort of his home. When he got there, it was anything but comforting, his father was waiting for him in the living room. As Elquiorra stared at his father, he knew that whatever he wanted with him was bad news.

"Elquiorra, today is the day that all of your training will be tested," Abbas informed. "Today is the day you take your final test before leaving Shulin Chaun," the father continued.

"What test is there that I haven't passed yet?" Elquiorra asked in frustration. Ever since Elquiorra was confirmed to be Avatar his skills were tested time and time again, and now he had yet another test. When was it all going to end?

"Here's your answer," Abbas shouted as he lifted up a couch and threw it at Elquiorra who defended against the attack by destroying the couch with a powerful fire blast.

"Now do you see what the final test is," the cruel man said as he was chasing Elquiorra who had darted out the house.

They were now outside on the green wet fields of Shulin Chaun.

"What's the matter with you. This is a pointless test. Have you truly gone insane?" the Avatar questioned.

"No, I'm just preparing you for what you will face when you fight The Death God," Abbas answered as he jumped, kicked, and punched, sending a barrage of boulders charging for the Avatar.

The boy quickly pulled out his sword and shattered all of the incoming boulders with multiple strikes of his blade, but he was getting tired from the ongoing earthbending assault. Fortunately Elquiorra was able to hold out long enough for his father to stop attacking.

"What's the matter? Why don't you use your bending. If you don't, you will be killed," Abbas stated, as he showered Elquiorra with more boulders.

The Avatar deflected and shattered all of the rocks with countless strokes of his sword again, but was too tired to dodge an unexpected earth column that rose up from the ground. It hit him square in the stomach, causing him to crash to the ground in pain. Because the pain was so devastating, Elquiorra could not stand back up on his feet. He was helpless.

"Is this it? Three years of training and you still have not learned anything. I even poisoned your mother , the only person who comforted you so you can let go of all emotions such as mercy ,but you still choose to cling to your useless feelings. Mercy is what will get you killed when you face The Death God. You just can't understand this so there is no point in you even facing the Death God if you refuse to kill him, so I'll end you. You are a disgrace to me!" Abbas stated as he picked up Elquiorra's sword. He was now about to take the life of his own son.

Suddenly, the boy in pain's eyes began to glow a green light, and the tears that were on his face turned into the same color. The wind now was blowing violently around the enraged Avatar, and Abbas's face showed nothing else besides confusion and shock.

"What in the world..."

The father could not finish his sentence because Elquiorra had bounced back up to his feet like a bouncy ball, and blasted a gale of wind at his father. He was blasted to the ground five 14 yards away from the Avatar. Abbas tried to get up from of the ground, but his feet and hands were cuffed by earth. Elquiorra extended his sword's reach and fire started to shroud the blade of the katana. He then swung the sword in the air, making a large blazing slash of fire head towards his father.

Suddenly in the blink of a second, everything turned into an empty white...


Elquiorra jumped up from out of his sleep and realized that he was in a bed inside of an inn. Just as the Avatar sat up in his bed, the door to his room opened and Sid walked in.

"Woah. What's the matter with you? It looks like you just woke up from a nightmare," Sid commented on Elquiorra's facial expression. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It was nothing but a dream," Elquiorra simply answered.

"Now that I'm up, lets go find that secret passage that you said was located in this city."

Sid gathered his three children and they were now heading to the secret passage that was in this city named Chun-nan, alongside Elquiorra and Kkuparuo. After walking by many buildings and various people, they had now made it to where the secret passage was located. There they were met by five Air Acolytes.

"Sid, we've been waiting for you to arrive. Is he the one?" the Air Acolyte asked, while looking at Elquiorra.

"Yes. This is Elquiorra, the Avatar."

"Good. You may enter the cave and must continue walk in it until reach the exit. There, you will be on top of a mountain and a sky bison will be there waiting for you."

"Kkuparuo, stay here, don't move until I get back," Elquiorra said to his badgermole.

"Don't worry Avatar Elquiorra, we'll be sure to feed and take good care of him," one of the Air Acolytes assured.

Elquiorra and his comrades now had entered the cave and it was not long before they reached the exit. They were now on there way to the Northern Air Temple.

Author's Notes

  • The members of the White Lotus that taught Elquiorra the other three elements will appear again, but not for a very long time.

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