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Fanon:Ozai Loses His Honor

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Ozai unhappy
Ozai Loses His Honor
I was forced into an eating-until-you-vomit contest with Ozai at Ember Island because I decided to find out about what LOK was going to be.
General information
Genre

Comedy

Rating

PG

Chapters

One

Country/Language

English

Production
Writer(s)

MibuWolf

Ozai Loses His Honor is a comedy one-shot written by MibuWolf for Theavatardemotivator's Fanon Writing Challenge. In this one-shot, MibuWolf makes her first cameo appearance...! She was forced into an eating-until-you-vomit contest with Ozai at Ember Island because she decided to find out about what LOK was going to be.

Here's What Happened

Fate speaks to people in mysterious ways. Whether it's saving the man who will be the love of your life's brother from getting hit by a train, or waking up inside the Avatar World. As a writer, who am I to complain about the situations that come my way? I take what I can get, and right now I went to bed per usual and woke up on Ember Island. And I wasn't even sent a letter with a black hand print reading "We Know" as a warning that I would wake up somewhere other than my own bed!

But like I said, who am I to complain about my situation? On the streets of Ember Island, I stick out like a sore thumb. A random white girl wearing jeans, sneakers, and a sweater. Do people in Avatar even have sweaters? Now then, as an A:TLA fan, something sticks out more than I do in the crowd. Everyone knows that Ozai was imprisoned after Aang took away his bending, so it seemed remarkable to see him strolling about. And as any Avatar fan would do in my situation, I approach the ex-Fire Lord.

"YO! Ozai! 'Sup?" As stealthy as I am, I start waving and shouting at him from several feet away. His eyes turned towards me, piercing my skull with a look that could kill. Nothing compared to my sister's look that can massacre an entire race. A dorky smile crosses my face and I continue to approach him. "I thought you were imprisoned for life! Why released so soon?"

He scowls, but can obviously sense that my fangirl side won't allow me to let up on this noncanonical appearance. "After I helped with ideas for LOK, the Creators released me from prison." His reply is short, saying little more than needs to be said. But also saying enough to spur on a mental Foaming Mouth Guy Moment.

"You helped with Korra?! Can you tell me what it's going to be about?! Nothing has been released, save the basics." My scheming takes over. Maybe, if Ozai tells me, I could consider this an official interview. Then, I could share all the details with the Avatar Wiki! That is, depending on whether Ozai would be considered a leak. "But no spoilers!" I add. After all, if I do share this with the world, it would only make matters worse if Ozai spoils a major plot detail.

"Why should I tell you?" His scowl does not fade. Man was he a scowler. Must be some sort of pent-up rage about losing his bending and throne.

But in response, I adjust my Ray-Ban glasses and smile. "I knew about LOK before it was cool." I reply, allowing my hipster-like tendencies to dominate. Ozai replies with an evil laugh. He was also always an evil laugher.

"How does this sound? If you defeat me in an eat-until-you-vomit contest, I'll tell you about what LOK will be."

"Ha! Do you think you can defeat my Black Hole-like teenage stomach?"

"I happen hold the Ember Island Eating Contest Gold Medal!" He retorts, gesturing for some observers to fetch the necessary food.

That is so not canonical. "Probably because you jounced the other guy off a tree limb!" I smile, for I have finally found an opportunity to reference A Separate Peace.

"Bring it on, woman!"

"I will bring it, Jafar!"

Some peasants carry a picnic table to our location, and we sit down and have a mini-staring contest. Several baskets are brought to the table, divided evenly between us. A man wearing a black-and-white striped robe appears. Hand raised, he begins the rules, "Now I want a good, clean fight! You will compete to see who can eat more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! First one to vomit loses!" A gong rang, and we began.

I don't remember PB&J ever being on Avatar, and I mean the food not the otters--little does anyone know, but the otters from PB&J were really behind the Ba Sing Se coup--but when faced with a chance of knowing more about LOK, I don't care whether it's canonical or not. We eat like madwomen ('cos Ozai eats like a GIRL) every now and again looking up to see the other's bloated face. It's a good thing I've had little other than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my school lunches, because I've built up an immunity which Ozai couldn't hope to have (especially since PB&J isn't in Avatar...).

But no one can eat PB&J for too long. My mouth begins to feel sticky, and I viciously lick my chops so that my mouth could at least open to continue. It is then that I remember! The night before, I had woken up inside Ocarina of Time! From within my TARDIS satchel (it's bigger on the inside), I produce a bottle of LonLon milk!

"No! Thash mush be againsh the rulesh!" Ozai shouts in desperation through his own sticky lips.

"I didn't say it was illegal..." The referee trails off as I remove the stopper from the bottle. I down the milk, looking almost like I am Blue Rose on a Pepsi NEX commercial, except drinking milk instead of Pepsi...

I can keep going. Ozai is struggling. The tension builds. I shorten my sentences. Like I learned to in Creative Writing. The reader feels the tension. His face turns green. I could keep going all day. It's obvious that he's feeling sick. I can almost smell the new Korra information.

Either that, or I smell Ozai's vomit. On his side of the table, he throws up all the peanut butter sandwiches we had just eaten. The ref comes over to me, and raises my right hand. "We have a winner!"

"My last source of honor... Gone!" Ozai weeps on his knees, salty tears mixing with his bile.

"Now tell me about LOK."

Ozai sighs and wipes the vomit off his face. "Here's what I can tell you: it follows the Avatar after Aang as she masters Airbending from Aang's son, Tenzin, and saves the world from the anti-bending group, the Equalists."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" I fall to my knees, shouting like Darth Vader in the end of episode three when he finds out that Padme is dead. "That's what we already knew!"

"You asked for no spoilers."

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