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Chapter 5- Insecurities
My room; lavishly furnished and fit for a princess of my standing. The tapestries wearing my nation's crest hung regally even in the late of the night. Gilded ornaments and accessories were sprinkled about. My enormous four-poster bed did not seem to make the room feel small.
I lay here, on top of my covers, in a robe that coordinated with the color scheme of my room, house, and nation. Memories of my most recent victory played inside my head.
There was the Avatar, floating into the air as his past incarnations' power was summoned. I had quickly realized that now was the time to take him out. I generated and regenerated my power, and created a perfectly deadly lightning blast. It hit him directly in the spinal chord, rendering his body useless. I recall chuckling as his limp form crippled against the ground.
I had personally destroyed the last piece standing in my, and my father's, way. The Phoenix Empire would be born from the ashes of this charred country.
So why, then, was I not satisfied? Had I not accomplished a total success? You most certainly have, I told myself. Then what was the reason for these insecurities? I should neither be troubled over the solidity of such a strong nation, nor the progress of our newest endeavor. But at a time like this, when so much more has suddenly become expected of me..
What are you saying? Can you not tackle your responsibilities with ease as always? Something inside me told me I was wrong, that I could, and had to, be wrong. There was nothing different about me. I would not allow such trivial thoughts to become reality. I was Princess Azula, daughter of the most powerful man who dare walk the earth, and in mere weeks his nation would be passed on to me.
I climbed out of bed and quietly slipped out my bedroom door. I walked silently through the halls until I had reached the courtyard. It was empty, so I continued on to the fountain where I once played as a child. Even at such a young age I was my father's pride and joy. To him, I far outshone my older brother. Zuko, his first born, was a weak firebender and often disappointed him. I had made sure to fill my own place and also Zuko's. Every time he failed, I excelled. He became a major part of my driving force. But I had always just one goal, and I wouldn't let anyone stand in my way. Not even my own mother.
Here was the pond she would stand by, underneath the shade of the tree. She never loved me. She was the one person who failed to see my excellence, and instead fabricated a false image of a monster who she saw as her daughter. Zuko was her perfect little boy, even though I was so much better than him. I had everything he didn't and more, but no matter what great things I accomplished, she merely turned her eye to me. That's why she isn't a part of this nation, of me, anymore. Not that I needed her support anyway.
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|Death of the Avatar - In the Presence of My Father - To Walk Among the Dead - Seven Letters: (Part 1 ~ Part 2) - Insecurities|