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This one-shot takes place a little into the adult lives of the old Team Avatar and tells the epic argument of what would happen if Aunt Wu, the fortuneteller, created the new hit craze called "horoscopes".
"Take a look at this!"
"What is it Aang?" Katara asked as she wandered into the living room.
Aang was shuffling through a few scattered letters and pulled out a tiny card with a circular chart on the front of it. "Aunt Wu sent us a letter, and she thinks that she can predict a person's personality just based off of these odd astrology symbols, and she wanted to test it out with some of her best customers.
"What?" she wondered confused, "I don't get it?"
"I didn't either at first, but look. Okay," He pointed his finger to the picture of balanced scales. "You find the symbol that has your birthday underneath it and then it tells you what you're called---"
"Libra?" Katara chuckled. "That's silly. Did Aunt Wu make that up herself or how did she even---"
"Stay with me!" Aang stressed persistently as he rubbed at his beard in distress. "This is actually sort of cool," he pounded his finger repeatedly into the card, "Okay, now it also tells you what element you belong with and look! I'm Air!"
"That's neat," she grinned, "What a coincidence, huh?"
Dismayed, Aang grumbled, "It's no coincidence, this chart is amazing! Listen to my thing---they call it a horoscope. Aunt Wu said in her letter that if she gets our personalities right on this chart, then she'll be able to invent entire predictions daily using these cards---and then she'll be able to help people all over the world instead of just the Makapu Village. Isn't that cool?"
Katara laughed. "Read away, Mr. Libra..." she mocked.
"Ahem!" he growled lightly as he lifted the card to read his horoscope. "The Libras are nice to everyone they meet and their love is one of a kind. They are silly, funny, and sweet all of their days, and they are some of the most unique and caring people that you will ever meet. They are not, however, the type of person you want to mess with and they can hold a good grudge. The Libras prevent much havoc, but can also cause a little too, and they are usually great fanatics for games and sports. Libras are someone that you want on your side; they are very creative, and they are often hopeless romantics."
"That's you in an eggshell alright, Aang," Katara teased, "You are a hopeless romantic..."
"And the other stuff too!" He squeaked. "L-Look just do yours, read it out!"
"Alright," she hummed, scrolling around the chart until she found her sign. "Alright Aang, according to this astrology chart, I'm a Pisces, which just looks like a pair of fish."
"And!?" He pressed eagerly.
"A partner for life," she rolled her eyes and read further, "The Pisces people are caring, thoughtful, smart, kind, and they love to be the center of attention. They are very organized and love to have the last word in an argument. They are passionate, extremely caring, and they always try to do the right thing. They are the most trusting of people and often get hurt and used because of it. They are good friends to others, but need to be choosy on who it is that they make friends with because they are easily aggravated by people opposite of them. If you strike the Pisces as someone in need of help, then they will go above and beyond to help you no matter what the costs...huh?" she half grinned, "And---it looks like my element is water, how strange?"
"See!" Aang jumped into the air with excitement, "That's completely you!" He floated back into the kitchen chair with a laugh, "Wow, I think Wu is definitely on to something here."
"I don't like to be the center of attention!" Katara argued abruptly, "And I most certainly never try to get the last word in an argument. I am nothing like the Pisces!"
He smiled swiftly with an eager gleam, "You kind of are, Katara. I didn't hear one thing you read that didn't describe you perfectly...I tell you sweetie, Aunt Wu is a genius!"
"Well if she's so smart then why don't you go marry her!" She chunked the chart back at him, "For arguments sake, let's take this horoscope thing of yours to Sokka and he can decide whether or not it is a bunch of nonsense!"
"Are you---" he tried to think up his next word carefully, or else he would catch the fury of a master waterbender... "A-alright?"
"Of course I am!" She screamed back, "Now get your butt on Appa so I can prove your stupid horoscope is a fake!"
Katara stormed out of the house, leaving Aang leaning back in his chair, blue in the face with a look of startled terror. He mumbled, "Glad to know you're okay..."
"AANG!" she bellowed, the walls shaking from her wrath, "GET ON THIS BISON RIGHT NOW!"
"WHOA!" He fell right out of the chair and quickly picked himself off the floor to fly outside "Coming sweetie!"
"Astrology huh?" Sokka pondered, "Sounds fancy!" he grinned and took the chart away. "Okay, it looks like I am a Scorpio. The symbol is some sort of scary looking bug and my element of choice is water...seems fitting so far? I have a manly animal symbol, and I am the representative of the Southern Water Tribe on the Republic City Council---so far so good."
"Just like Katara! You were both water!" Aang cheered before Katara slapped her hand over his mouth and motioned for her brother to keep reading.
"Read the rest of it Sokka!" she grumbled.
"Let's see," Sokka hummed, "A Scorpio is often known as "the addict". They are extremely adorable, love to make jokes, and they have a very good sense of humor." He paused, "Wow, I like this chart thingy already!"
"Oh Sokka!" Katara snapped, "Just keep reading!"
"These people are extremely curious and will try almost anything at least once in their lives. They enjoy being pampered and love to party. They like money and are just as good at earning it as they are at spending it. Scorpios are very protective over their loved ones and they are hard workers. These people can be a great friend, but are often untrusting until after they truly get to know you because they do not tolerate betrayal in any of their friendships or their family affairs."
"So!?" Katara and Aang exclaimed.
"What do you mean, 'so'? Wu's charts sounded pretty dead on---" Sokka stretched. "Sorry Katara, but I do enjoy money, keeping you guys safe, and I have said before that I have a natural curiosity."
"But Sokka I thought you hated all of this fortune teller nonsense!?"
"Normally I do, little sister, but this kind of prediction stuff has an "ology" at the end of its name, so this astrology stuff must have some sort of realistic knowledge to it."
"Haha!" Aang cheered, "Aang one, Katara Zero! Thanks Sokka!"
"Oh yeah!?" She snarked back, "Let's take this to Toph. She of all people can tell us just how liable Aunt Wu's charts are!"
"Katara's charts told us that she always has to have the last word in any argument," Aang whispered.
Sokka held a hand to his mouth and mumbled under his breath, "I knew that the day she was born, you don't have to be a fortune teller to convince the world of that—"
"AANG, SOKKA!" Katara bellowed.
"If you don't hurry, she gets really mad," Aang muttered.
"I already knew that too---"
"GET OVER HERE NOW!"
"But, I have a meeting to go to in an hour!" Sokka complained.
"She's coming down!" Aang screamed, "Take it back Sokka! Quick!"
"Fine!" He groaned loudly, "It's not like I had a lunch to get to or anything..." He sighed dramatically and climbed aboard Appa's saddle, "This is going to be one long afternoon..."
"Okay, Toph," Sokka read. "It looks like you're this flowery symbol called Virgo."
"What?" she scoffed. "Whatever, I agree with Katara then---this chart thing is a bunch of junk."
"See!" Katara clapped.
"Hold on, hold on," Aang motioned. "Toph, let Sokka read it out first before you make any decisions."
Toph blew the stray hairs out of her face and stopped punching the thick square of metal in the middle of the police force training quarters. "Make it fast," she grumbled, "Your crummy argument is cutting into my training time." She sensed the other officers taking a break and abruptly turned and shouted at them, "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MY BACK TURNED DOESN'T MEAN YOU LILY LIVERS CAN STOP PRACTICING! I WANT TO HEAR THOSE METAL BLOCKS CRACKING! KEEP GOING! DON'T STOP PUNCHING!"
The other officers groaned and quickly went back to their punching exercises, though none of their steel punching blocks were as mangled and crumpled apart as Chief Beifong's was. Her block looked as though an army of sledgehammers had taken to it from every opposite angle imaginable. Toph punched a last time to make her point and every last body in the gym jumped at the sheer force before going back to what they were doing.
"Alright then," Sokka tugged at his collar and read, "A Virgo is a symbol of earth and the one who waits. They are loyal, caring, loud, stubborn, and aggressive; they love to give a good fight. These people always want the last word in any argument and they think that they know everything, mostly because they usually they do. Virgos love to gamble and take countless risks and chances in their daily lives. They make great friends but lose all respect for the people who betray them and who never seek to regain that trust. They do not forgive and never forget, so you never want to be on the bad side of a Virgo. They are the one and only---a Virgo is a one of a kind."
Other than the Metalbenders' agonizing blows landing against their punching bricks, the gym was silent. Toph took the towel around her neck to wipe the sweat from her brow when she grinned apologetically and said, "Sorry sweetness, but I think this junk is pretty legit?"
"Not you too, Toph!" Katara frowned.
Aang and Sokka high fived and Toph laughed, "Aside from the flowery part, that horoscope pretty much described me and everything I try to be. Now, if you want a true challenge, you should go ask Zuko what he thinks. His personality is so messed up, I'm sure he would be on your side about this thing Katara. None of those other symbols could possibly describe that guy, take it from me."
"We are not flying all the way to the Fire Nation just to ask Zuko about this stupid chart!" Katara shouted, before grumbling softly, "No matter how much I want to..."
Toph stood from the little bench and shook her head, "You don't need to. Zuko should be in the city right now to talk with the council. Didn't Sokka tell you guys? Hey meathead, aren't you supposed to be at that meeting about now?"
Katara's scowl shot right towards her brother and she snarled through gritted teeth, "No! He most certainly did not!"
"I told you I had a meeting!" he squeaked.
"You didn't tell us that Zuko would be there!" she retaliated.
"Aang knew it too," Toph pointed with a satisfied smirk.
"Thanks a lot, Toph!" Aang grumbled.
"Anytime Twinkle Toes!" she smiled smugly, "Now you three get out of my gym, you're making me look bad." Toph turned and shouted, "YOU CALL THAT A PUNCH SAIKHAN!? THIS IS A PUNCH!" There was a clatter and a few screams shed as Toph shot a scrap of the floorboards towards some unlucky officer and the gang started easing their way out of the training room.
"We'll just get out of your hair then..." Aang inched backwards. "Sorry to bother you, Toph--- Chief---uh, ma'am..."
Katara grabbed both Aang and Sokka by the ear and dragged them angrily out of the Metalbending Police basement.
"Well, whaddya know?" Toph shook her head and started pounding dents into her steel brick again. "Those guys are nuts, but still---" she blew the stray hairs from her face, "Zuko, I sure hope you agree with Katara---for all our sakes."
"Thanks for making all these trips, old buddy," Aang patted Appa's nose and the large bison roared softly as Katara stormed up the stairs of the capitol building with more fire in her eyes than the Phoenix King on the day of Sozin's Comet.
"Move it or lose it guys!" she shouted back.
"Look you two," Sokka started, "I know that you really want to ask Zuko about this little chart thing of yours, but I need you to wait until after the meeting. This astrology thing is fun and all, but I still have a city to run---your city, Aang!"
"I understand completely," he nodded sternly.
"Good," Sokka sighed, "So keep your wife in check! No offense Katara, but you've been acting crazy all day! If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you're the one who has been hitting the cactus juice..."
"I get it!" she snarled through teeth, gritted in attempts to make a decent smile.
"Don't even bring it up until I say so," Sokka persisted, "I don't want the council teasing me for the next fifty years over this---they will! And if the press gets wind that you guys are arguing----the paparazzi will have a field day! So keep your comments to yourself and I'll be holding onto that chart..."
"I guess that's fair," Aang shrugged, handing over the scrap of paper.
Katara grumbled and finally caved, "Alright fine, but just make this meeting a quick one! I want to prove to Aang that this stupid chart is nonsense!"
"Can do baby sister," Sokka nodded, turning to head into City Hall.
Katara attempted to follow, but Aang grabbed her shoulder and held her back, "Katara, what's the matter with you today? Why are you so dead set on proving this horoscope thing isn't real? I thought you loved Aunt Wu's predictions, I only showed you because I thought that you would like it---I didn't mean to make you so upset or else I would have never brought it up."
"I'm not upset, who said---who said anything about me being upset, which I'm not!" Katara debated rapidly. "It's all good fun, that's all it is..."
"Katara..." Aang persisted.
"We'll talk about this later; we're going to miss the meeting," she shoved herself free and quickly paced into the courtroom.
With a gruff frown, Aang sighed and followed after his wife into City Hall.
After the boring council meeting, Sokka and Zuko met up with Katara and Aang, and Sokka pulled out Aunt Wu's chart.
"You've got to be kidding me...this is what you guys have been arguing about?" Zuko scoffed just quiet enough that the nosy press could not hear, "Some of us have careers and entire nations to worry about, not some silly fortune tellers' propaganda! Aang!" he called out accusingly.
"Why is everybody getting mad at me?" He flung his hands into the air, "I just thought it was kind of fun, I didn't mean to let loose a barrel of hog monkeys!"
"What about you!" Zuko snapped at Sokka, "I had a whole speech prepared for the new bridge construction up town and you called the meeting before we even got to it!" He groaned, "You know, I don't hop on a war balloon to fly all the way down here just because I get the fancy for shopping at the local merchants---I am a very busy man!"
"I had nothing better to do this morning," Sokka shrugged, "Plus Katara wouldn't get off my back until she proved Aunt Wu wrong---no one knows why---we just got caught in the cross fire pal."
Katara growled at them, "Just read it Zuko, so I can get on with my life!"
"What's with her?" the Fire Lord asked towards Aang.
"Nobody knows," Sokka rolled his eyes, "But here you go champ, read away."
Zuko sighed in defeat and found his horoscope as quickly as he could. "The Aries; loveable and spontaneous, you do not want to mess with them. Family and honor are very important to the Aries and they are willing to go to depths ends to prove their point or get their way. Their symbol comes first in the stars and it only proves what leadership, potential, and possibilities the Aries possess. Their element of fire can be creative or destructive, depending on how it is applied and even as children, the Aries can be blunt, impulsive, and have brute force. These kinds of people are usually honor bound, honest, and they keep a straight forward approach in all that they do."
"They had me convinced at honor," Sokka said, "Satisfied you two?"
"Katara," Aang frowned in concern, "Will you please let this go?"
"I was afraid that Aunt Wu was right," she frowned. "She's been known to mess small details up and I wanted her to be wrong about this more than anything."
"But why?" Aang wondered.
"I remembered reading Aunt Wu's astrology charts years ago when we first ran into her in Makapu. She was still trying to finish the whole thing back then, but I saw her relationship charts for a few of the symbols and it said that the Pisces and Libras might as well be complete enemies because they're bad for one another. I didn't think much of it back then," she sniffed, "But after Aang told me that he was a Libra I started to panic. Aunt Wu was right about everything else, so I didn't want her astrology to be true because---" Katara wiped away a tear and looked back towards Aang, "Then that meant we were bad for each other."
Aang wrapped Katara in a comforting hug and said, "Hey, hey...this chart describes our personalities, not our love life---just like Aunt Wu said, we shape our own destinies. Just because some silly stars tell us not to be together, doesn't mean it's true. I wouldn't let all the cosmic energy in the universe keep us apart, Katara."
"But, what if you married the wrong woman?" Katara teared, "What if I bring you bad luck or something---like just yesterday!" she snapped, "You caught your robes on fire because I was distracting you around the oven! Or that time when you were Earthbending and I hit you with a wave; then you dropped that boulder and nearly crushed yourself! See, I'm bad for you!"
Aang rolled his eyes. "Sweetie...you are a lot of things, but you are not bad luck. I love you!" He persisted, "And I've loved you since that first moment I ever laid my eyes on you. Katara, why would you even think that I could ever stop loving you for even a moment?"
"You've been all emotional and scary-angry all day long!" Sokka pointed out, "So...can I please go home without fear for my life?"
"I second that," Zuko raised his hand.
"Motion carried," Sokka pounded his fist into his hand like a gavel, "Let's go, Zuko."
"Not so fast!" a shrill voice called out.
"Toph!?" all four of the old gang called out in shock.
She marched over to them and punched Zuko harshly on the arm... "Great to hear from Mister-too-busy-to-drop-by Fire Lord," she snarked.
"And you people wonder why I never visit?" He rubbed his sore arm and huffed, "What are you doing here, Toph, the meeting is already over."
"Oh I know," she smiled, "And normally I would get as far away from these snore-fests as possible, but I figured if we were all together, Katara would let us all in on her little secret."
"Secret?" Sokka wondered.
Aang's concern grew stronger, "Katara...what secret?"
"Thanks Toph..." Katara grumbled, only to receive a smug grin from the chief in return.
Aang asked again as his voice filled with worry, "Katara?"
"Aang," she started calmly, "I guess I should probably tell you why I've been so on edge for the past couple of days...and thanks to Toph, I guess I should count my blessings that we're all here together so I can tell you."
"Well?" Sokka stomped impatiently.
"Aang, we're pregnant!"
It was as though all of Aang's vocabulary had been stripped away from him, all he could do was let out a meek and squeaky, "Huh?"
Sokka let out a much louder shriek and Zuko merely stared oddly as though he wasn't quite sure how to respond. Toph nodded her head knowingly and gave Aang a good pat on the shoulder to unfreeze him from his motionless state.
"YOU'RE PREGNANT!?" Aang shouted, gaining the attention of every brown-nosed reporter in Republic City. Suddenly the gang was in a mob of camera flashes and voices overlapped as the mob chunked questions left and right.
"I told you the press was everywhere!" Sokka shouted.
"How did you know about Katara and Aang, Toph?" Zuko asked.
"Really?" she rolled her eyes. "I'm getting pretty good at that!" She stated, adding, "It's like that horoscope thingy said---I know everything!"
"What number am I thinking of?" Sokka whispered.
"You're not...you're thinking of me thinking about a number, and you really want to grab a bite to eat before the four o' clock council meeting."
"Actually, there is this new place downtown I've been wanting to try," Sokka nodded.
"I could go for that," Zuko agreed, "Since somebody cut our meeting short, I do have an hour to spare?"
"I'd love something to eat!" Katara added happily.
"How do we get rid of the paparazzi?" Aang muttered hastily.
"You there," Toph pointed at the unsuspecting crowd as Aang took Katara by the waist and Zuko and Sokka gave him a small grin, "You get one question, if anyone else even dares to mutter a single syllable, I will arrest you right here and now!"
The other press members continued taking pictures, but they all backed away in horror. The man Toph had singled out, stuttered nervously and tripped over himself to come up with something good. "Uh," he hummed, "Do you have the authority to do that, Chief Beifong?"
"The answer is yes and you just lost your question!" she grinned, "That's how you deal with the paparazzi, Aang."
The other members of the press silently, but forcefully started beating on the lone man who wasted the question of the century. They didn't dare say a word as the old Team Avatar made their way to a well-deserved lunch, but as soon as the gang was gone, one member of the press knelt over and picked up a small piece of paper lying alone on the floor. "Hey, what's this?" he wondered.
"Aunt Wu's Astrology chart and Horoscope reader?" Another read, "Predicts your future today."
"Wow!" one called happily, "This thing is amazing! That is so true!"
"Mine too!" a woman added, "This could be the greatest discovery man has learned since the Avatar returned to end the Hundred Year War!"
"I must have it for my next column!"
"No! I saw it first!"
"What about that thing the Avatar just said?"
"Forget that!" A man screamed, "This Horoscope thing will change the fate of newspapers as we know it! I can't wait for the world to hear this news!"
For the collective works of the author, go here.
Which element are you?
- AQUARIUS - (January 20 to February 18)
- PISCES - (February 19 to March 20)
- ARIES - (March 21 to April 19)
- TAURUS - (April 20 to May 20)
- GEMINI - (May 21 to June 20)
- CANCER - (June 21 to July 22)
- LEO - (July 23 to August 22)
- VIRGO - (August 23 to September 22)
- LIBRA - (September 23 to October 22)
- SCORPIO - (October 23 to November 21)
- SAGITTARIUS - (November 22 to December 21)
- CAPRICORN - (December 22 to January 19)