Fire Lord Wang Fire
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The Adventures of Wang Fire


Fire Lord Wang Fire

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The Baby With Chest Hair

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Some Si Wong in the Desert

Katara looked out the window at the dark clouds and pouring rain. Behind her in the kitchen, Sokka was searching for something to eat. "Vegetables, vegetables...Green stuff. Gosh Katara, don't you ever get tired of eating airbender food?!"He said as he rummaged through their cooler.

"Sokka, your love for someone can overpower your need for certain things and foods," Katara turned to him and replied.

Her brother abandoned hope and looked to his sister. "I feel sorry for you little sis. No meat!?" He cried.

Katara smiled. "I never said love overpowered my appetite," she said as she opened the cooler and pulled out a hidden jar.

"But I already looked in there. "It's got cabbages in it..."

Katara pulled the cabbage out. "Beneath it were several rotting fish heads. A comfort food of sorts common to the north and south called stink-head."

Sokka began to cry. "It's so beautiful," in his heart he felt a surge of joy that could not be defeated by even the evilest of spirits. His stomach sang hymns and ballads and his taste buds danced and partied. Katara would not let it show, but she too was feeling this way. Her eyes widened as she stared at her secret treasure, she wiped her mouth to keep the drool from seeping out. "Let's dig in!" Sokka yelled.

"Alright..." Katara began. "But I get first pick-"

"I'm home everybody! I'm home!" Came Aang's voice from outside.

"Hurry, just one bite!" Sokka cried, clawing at the jar.

"No, we have to put it away, quick!" Katara whispered loudly. The two siblings wrestled over the jar but in the end Katara won, with a little help from waterbending.

Just then, Aang entered the room. "Hey sweety-err uh Sokka too." The brother and sister smiled and waved awkwardly. "What smells, and why are you all wet Sokka?" Aang asked. "Never mind, I don't want to know. I have something to ask you Sokka."

Sokka was nervous, and wet, and he smelled. In his mind he was panicking. What if he finds out, what if he knows that we are breaking Air Nomad culture in his own house!? "What do ya need buddy?" Sokka asked awkwardly.

"Bumi has been really down lately, and he seems to be ignoring me. He responds really well to you. Do you think you could go talk to him?"

"Sure thing!" Sokka exclaimed.

"Thanks, Sokka," Aang said, and with that he left the room. Katara and Sokka turned to each other, wiping their heads and breathing a sigh of relief. Just then they heard Aang's voice from the other room, "I know about the fish guys!"

Katara face-palmed. Sokka shrugged with slight embarrassment for himself and his sister. "Well since he already knows...might as well dig in."

"Nuh uh!" Katara said strictly. "If you want some, you have to go talk to Bumi first!"

"But-But Katara!!!"

"No Buts! Go!"

Sokka found Bumi in the sitting room staring out the window at the rain. "Hey buddy," Sokka said, patting the boy's head. "I hear you don't want to talk to your dad?"

"He loves Tenzin more than me," Bumi said. "Daddy defeated the bad Fire Lord and saves people all the time, and since Tenzin is an airbender, he's gonna be just like Daddy. And I won't be anything."

"I know a story about a certain man who couldn't bend, yet he defeated an evil Fire Lord." Sokka smiled.

"Wang Fire!?" Bumi exclaimed.

"Yes Wang Fire."

Wang Fire and his spirit boomerang, Booma, traveled the Fire Nation for many years, beating up monsters and kicking bad guy butt! Wang Fire was almost 13 now and he could fight anyone who challenged him, he even challenged a combustion bender and beat him by farting!

One day he marched into the Fire Nation Capital. Everything seemed peaceful except for one thing! There was no place in town to buy meat! "What's this all about!?" Wang bellowed. "No meat in this town! Where can a man find some meat!?"

"You mustn't do that bearded boy!" came a cowardly voice from an alley. "Fire Lord Carrot banned all meat in the capital, we are all forced to eat cabbages. But on the upside, that guy gets good business," the alley man said, pointing to a very wealthy cabbage dealer.

"Fire Lord or not, no one has the right to ban meat!" Wang cried ferociously. "Where can I find this "Carrot" So that I may smite him!"

"He lives in the Royal Palace, inside the volcano!"

Wang looked up at the ominous mountain-

"What does ominous mean?" Kya interrupted.

Bumi turned red. "Kya! This is my story, go away!"

"But I want to hear it too!?" The little girl argued.

"Kids!" Sokka said sternly. "You can both listen, as long as you're quiet." Kya and Bumi stared at each other angrily, but decided to get along.

Wang looked up at the ominous mountain, "I will go to the Royal Palace and end this tyranny! But first, I must do away with these evil cabbages. Wang approached the cabbage man. "Stop selling cabbages to these poor people!" Wang Fire demanded.

The evil cabbage man laughed. "My cabbages are unstoppable! Even the legendary Wang Fire can't defeat the power of green!" Suddenly the cabbages of the cabbage man surrounded him and he formed into a giant walking cabbage monster. Before Wang could get away, the cabbage monster picked the man-child up and threw him into the clouds. Wang Fire had been defeated.

The evil cabbage giant started shooting cabbages into people's mouths, forcing them to eat them. They ran and screamed and their taste buds did the same. But then, a loud noise issued from the woods, and out of them, came a giant walking meat monster, made only of the finest cuts. Then, a familiar voice rang out of its mouth. It was Wang Fire. "Cabbage man! By divine intervention, I landed in a meat factory, and I told them of this tyranny. So they gave me all their meat and I created this giant meat suit to battle you with.

"Let us do battle then, Wang Fire," the cabbage monster declared. The fists of the two titans collided, creating ear deafening sonic wave. The cabbage monster spit cabbages into the face of Wang Fire's meat beast, knocking it back. But Wang Fire would not go down, he gave the cabbage creature a foot full of brisket, right in the cabbages. The Green monstrosity fell to its knees. And after Wang Fire delivered the final blow to its leafy cranium, the monster fell apart, leaving the cabbage man exposed on the ground. "My cabbage monster!" He cried.

"I think it's time for you to turn over a new leaf," Wang Fire laughed. Then he burst out of his meat suit and prime cuts began raining from the sky. Hungry people gathered it up like manna from heaven. "Now I must end the man who started all this, Fire Lord Carrot." And Wang Fire set off to scale the mountain!

When he reached the top, he saw the palace, A giant building surrounded by lava. There was one bridge leading to the front door. "There is a back door Wang," Booma said, jumping out of his pocket.

"Men take the front door," Wang said. "Come on Booma, we've got butt to kick." The firebenders shot fire ball after fire ball at Wang Fire, but he dodged them because he is awesome (that's a good enough reason). Booma flew around around and knocked down the fiery adversaries and Wang gave them wedgies just because he could. When they reached the front door, it was locked. But no door can keep Wang Fire out. He pulled two hairs from his beard and picked the lock until it opened.

"So you've come to overthrow me!" A voice came from behind the flames.

"No, I've come to destroy you," said Wang Fire. "Show yourself, Carrot, so that I may smite you!"

"Very well, but you should know..." Carrot then jumped off his throne and shot a giant continuous fire blast that encompassed Wang fire. "...That I am the strongest firebender in the world! Hahaha." When the flames cleared, Wang Fire was gone! "Hahahahahaha, I defeated Wang Fire!" Carrot cried in victory.

Then from behind the evil lord came a voice. "You can't burn me, I am Fire...Wang Fire!" And with one toss of his boomerang, the evil Fire Lord Carrot fell to the ground!

"For your crimes against the people of this city..." Wang Fire said. "I sentence you to community service."

The Fire Lord's eyes went wide. "No, not community service!" He then shot another fire ball at Wang Fire. But the bearded man-child...ate it. Fire Lord Carrot was so consumed by fear that he died-

"He died!" Kya screamed. "Wang Fire killed him!"

"I'm sorry Kya." Sokka said. "I admit that was harsh, I meant to say he got hurt really bad."

"Are you kidding me!" Kya exclaimed. "That's awesome! Fire Lord Carrot deserved to die!"

Bumi and Sokka stared at each other. Some might say they were scared.

Yes, the Fire Lord died, but he didn't go to the Spirit World. He went to meat heaven where he was tortured forever! Afterwards Wang Fire took his place on the throne, and for a day he Was Fire Lord Wang Fire, and he brought meat and prosperity to the Fire Nation for all of twenty four hours. But he got bored, so he gave the throne to a local butcher, and made sure he would keep the people well fed. And so Wang Fire left, because he is by nature, a wanderer whose mission is to save people in need and free them from tyranny... and vegetarians.

"See Bumi," Sokka said. "You don't have to be a bender to be awesome! Wang Fire couldn't bend and he was awesome!"

Kya interrupted. "But waterbending is still cooler!"

"But Wang Fire is better than your stupid waterbending!" Bumi interjected.

"Guys, guys! Water bending is cool and Wang Fire is cool." Sokka said. "Go and play and I'll tell you more tomorrow." Kya ran out of the room but as Bumi was leaving Sokka pulled him aside. "But Wang Fire is cooler." He whispered with a smile.

(Wang Fire will return in chapter 3: There's some Si Wong in the Desert.)

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