|By Omashu Rocks||Genre||Rating||Reviews||Updates|
|More from Omashu Rocks||Comedy||A little above PG||None||none|
| || And this is Katara, my flying sister.
This article is considered humorous and should not be treated too seriously.
Author's Notes Edit
This is a one-shot Christmas special by. You may understand the various references to movies and pop-culture, or you may not. If you don't, sucks for you.
Thanks Wiki for nominating this one-shot for Outstanding Short Fanon in the Fourth Fanon Awards.
On October 20, 2012 the sequel,, was released.
Deck the Halls! is currently nominated for December Featured Fanon Article.
On this very Christmas Day Edit
Aang blew off his covers and sprang out of bed to peer out his frost-covered window onto the snowy streets of Ba Sing Se. Looking across his front yard, Aang noticed Appa shake off the pile of snow that had collected on his back. For some reason, watching their pets do cute things with snow makes people especially happy, and Aang ran down the stairs to the main floor of his house with glee.
Upon entering the kitchen, Aang saw that Toph, Sokka and Katara were already eating breakfast. "Merry Christmas," he announced joyfully.
"Merry Christmas," Katara replied. "You really slept in today."
"Yeah, I was up late last night. Why are your pancakes shaped like dogs?" This question made Toph and Katara giggle.
"They're snowflakes!" Sokka exclaimed.
"Oh… oh yeah, I see it now. They definitely look like snowflakes," Aang lied.
"Why'd you stay up late?" Katara inquired.
"I was just working on something," Aang stated vaguely.
"Cool. I'm gonna to go wrap some presents now."
Sokka waited until his sister had left the room to continue. "Let me guess, you made something for Katara."
"No!" Aang's voice was high pitched in defense. "That's not what I was doing at all!" "I can tell that you're lying," Toph said with a smirk.
"Well, you're wrong."
Sokka raised his hands defensively "Okay, whatever. Honestly, I don't get why people ship you two. You have the most awkward relationship I've ever seen."
Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Aang and Sokka went to greet their Christmas guests, but the people on the other side of the door were certainly not on the invitation list. Sokka's eyes widened as Chong, Lily, and their friends stood before him on the front stoop, fully dressed in Santa costumes.
"Hey-hey Avatar dudes. Merry Christmas," said Chong with a slight chuckle.
"What are you doing here?" Sokka demanded.
"We're going door-to-door to spread Christmas cheer by singing about the elf people."
"Please don't sing."
"Ready guys?" After his friends nodded, Chong began to play the tune of "Secret Tunnel" on his guitar.
Tiny helpers, dressed in green clothing.
A fat man enslaves their people
and a forces them to build toy parts.
He has a place where he's trapped them forever
His voice was as low as it could go for the next line until they dieeee.
"Is it over?" Sokka began.
SANTA'S WORKSHOP! SANTA'S WORKSHOP
IN THE NORTH POLEEEE!
SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA'S WORSHOOOOOOP! Yeah!
"Hey ponytail dude, why'd you shut the door?" Chong turned to his friends in disappointment. "Oh well," he shrugged. With that, the group was off to the next house.
"Sometimes, I wish the Fire Nation had killed me," Sokka told Aang just before hearing a knock on the door. He opened it furiously. "Can't you stoners go ruin someone else's day?… Suki!" Sokka hugged his girlfriend as she took off her snowy boots to enter the house. She had just returned from picking Ty Lee up from Half Moon International Airpot.
"What was that about stoners?" she asked.
"Never mind that. How was your flight, Ty Lee?"
"It was long and boring. There was nothing to do. But guess what? I made the cheer squad! Yayayayayayaya!" She jumped up and down in excitement.
"That's great Ty Lee," said Aang.
"Thanks Aang! Isn't snow so pretty and sparkly?"
"Umm I guess so."
Sokka cut in. "Follow me into the Family Room."
Excited, Sokka led his guest into the large main room of the house, fully embellished with Christmas decorations.
"Wow," said Ty Lee as she watched Momo climb around the Gaang's Christmas Tree, dressed in garland, beads, and ornaments including a woodcut in the shape of a badgermole, an orb with the "Birth of Kyoshi Island" painted on it, a White Lotus orb, and many others all topped off by a Moon Spirit Yue figure.
"Did you cut that tree yourself?"
"Actually," started Sokka, "I just ordered it from Huu Plantbending Incorporated."
"How come there are no lights on the tree?"
Sokka made a few quick glances and facepalmed as the girls giggled.
"It's not funny! I put a lot of time into this tree."
"What do you mean you?" asked Suki. "Katara and I did all the work."
Just then, the doorbell rang a second time and Katara and Aang rushed to answer it.
"Ten gold pieces it's Zuko!" called Aang.
"Or dad!" Katara exclaimed.
"Both wrong," Toph stated.
Aang swung open the door to reveal one General Iroh, wearing dark shades and accompanied by June, who had one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other hand on his belly.
"General Iroh?" asked Aang, surprised.
Iroh didn't look at Katara or Aang, but rather peered into the house. "That's mah name, don't ware it out. You call this a party? Everyone seems sober."
"Of course we are," replied Katara, who then looked directly into the camera and said, "Because we are under 21 years old, we would never even consider purchasing or consuming alcohol. Hear that kids?"
"I understand. June, be a dear and fetch the booze from the trunk of my car, will you?" June obeyed and Iroh continued into the house.
"That man… isn't Iroh," muttered Aang to Katara, who simply shrugged and said, "I wonder where Zuko is?"
Road Rage Edit
Meanwhile, traffic was bumper-to-bumper on the Fire Lord and his wife's way to the Earth Kingdom capital. Zuko was angrily hunched over the steering wheel, unleashing rage on other drivers.
"Do you know who I am? I will destroy you!" he barked.
"Zuko, you're worse than your sister," said Mai as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Ty Lee's number.
"Can you go five minutes without calling her?"
"Hi Ty Lee…. Well with Zuko driving it could take ages."
The steering wheel began to steam under the Fire Lord's hands.
"I just hope my in-laws don't show up."
"What do you mean your in-laws?" Finally, Zuko spotted the source of the traffic congestion: a man in a Santa suit ringing a bell and asking for coin donations in a pot.
"Great, it's the Salvation Army," Zuko muttered. The enraged driver rolled down his window and stuck his head out of the car. "Get a job, you bum!"
Suddenly, Tom-Tom decided to burst out from the back seat. "I want a Transformer for Christmas!"
"What?" Zuko cried. "Last week you wanted the Super Smash Benders game! And since when could you talk?"
"I want Transformers now!"
"We already got your present."
"Buy another one!"
"No. We're not stopping this car until we get there."
"But I have to go to the bathroom."
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO EXPLODE! YOU'RE GOING TO HOLD IT IN!!!"
Mai chimed in, "Zuko, you missed a turn."
"I'm sorry, did you want to drive? You made it pretty clear that you wanted me to drive before we left."
Why did we invite these guys? Edit
Vodka in hand, Iroh was lazily seated on the couch in the decorated room, flipping through channels on Sokka's flatscreen TV. Each station was more irritating that the last.
"We now return to How the Azula stole Christmas: The story of how a Fire Nation princess tricked a Who named Kuei into telling her vital secrets.
The next commercial was a bit odd. It showed images of several attractive people with a male European voice in the background. "Are you tired of looking oogly? Do you wish to look handsome? Beautiful? Like me, Haru? Then buy my product. Buy Haru."
The woman known as Hama appeared on the screen, looking directly into the camera. "I'm not a witch," she said with a giggle. "I'm nothing you've heard. I'm you…And just like you, I force people to move beyond their will. If I'm elected, I'll go to Ba Sing Se and do what you'd do: lock Firebenders in a cave. I'm you."
"In the Earthbending justice system, there are two types of Dai Li: Those who arrest people without cause, and those who brainwash the offenders. These are their stories. DUN DUN DUN."
"Finally, something entertaining!" Iroh exclaimed.
The rest of group sat around in boredom until Katara heard knocks on the door. She and Sokka ran to greet the latest guests.
"GramPakku!" shouted Sokka with glee, going in for the hug.
"Gran-Gran!" Katara cried. "It's so nice to see you!"
"It's good to see you too my little Waterbender," said Kanna. She paused. "Katara, how old are you now?"
"I'm 15, Gran-Gran."
"Oh, that's nice."
The elderly couple made their way into the home, followed by King Bumi.
"I'm not wearing any underpants," he announced as he passed Katara.
Kataang Moment? Nahhh Edit
Later that night, Katara was soupbending by herself in the kitchen, preparing dinner. She was soon joined by Aang.
"Hey Katara, I was wondering if we could talk before everyone exchanged gifts," said Aang timidly, holding a wrapped box behind his back.
"Sure, Aang. About what?"
"Well, it's just that… I've been thinking-"
"Zuko!" Katara dashed to the front door to greet the royal couple of the Fire Nation. "You finally made it!"
"You should have seen him driving," Mai said sarcastically. "He got so angry that he smashed into a mailbox."
The four friends could hear a familiar voice call from across the street. "The Boulder is confused as to how his mailbox was destroyed!"
Zuko rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess you could say I got a bit hot-headed," he joked.
Not one person laughed.
Meanwhile, Sokka and Suki had placed mistletoe on the arc leading from the kitchen to the main room, waiting for Katara and Aang to walk in together. Little did they know that the first pair to walk in would be Aang and Zuko.
"Zuko and Aang are under the mistletoe!" Toph shouted.
"I guess that's what you call a gay apparel," noted Pakku. Everyone laughed as Bumi whipped out his phone to take a picture.
"Guys, I'm not kissing Zuko," Aang stated coldly. At these words, he was approached by a heavily intoxicated Iroh.
"You know what your problem is?" Iroh began, poking Aang in the chest hard. "You- you really need to- to shape up your attitude buddy." The former General swayed back and forth before falling flat on his face, unconscious.
"Uncle?" said Zuko with concern in his voice.
"He's been doing that all day," commented Toph.
"Well," started Sokka. "I guess I better rig up these lights on the tree now that I have time."
Kanna walked up to Katara. "Katara, how old are you now?"
-I hate Christmas lights, Sokka mumbled.
"Oh that's nice."
"How's the Southern Water Tribe been, Gran-Gran?"
-I really hate Christmas lights.
"Everything's been great since Pakku helped out."
"Are all the little kids staying out of trouble?"
-Why do the Christmas light makers have to make things so difficult? I mean, look at this!
"Well, Jimmy found that old Fire Navy ship."
-Now why the hell are they blinking?
"I don't think he'll hurt himself too bad."
"Yeah, he always seemed smart enough to know what's dangerous.
-One light goes out, they all go out!
"Now if Charlie had found that ship!" "Ha! He'd manage to blow it up!"
The room became pitch black. "Someone get a flashlight I blew a fuse!" Sokka bellowed.
A small light shined on Sokka and the tree, and the chills ran down everyone's necks when they heard an all-too-familiar voice. "There you go, Sokka."
"Joo Dee!" Sokka exclaimed as the lights flickered back on. The room screamed in horror. "How long have you been here?"
"Me? I've always been here. Hello Sokka and Aang and Katara and Toph and Suki and Ty Lee and Iroh and June and Pakku and Kanna and Bumi and Zuko and Mai."
Sokka shook his head. "You know, this actually doesn't surprise me."
"She seems just as crazy as she was when Long Feng brainwashed her!" Toph burst out.
"No, I'm not brainwashed, but Mr. LongFengDaddy Luv wants his money."
"LongFengDaddy Luv?" asked Katara.
The room became silent. "Joo Dee," Sokka began, "Is Long Feng your pimp?"
Joo Dee was spared of the awkward moment when the doorbell rang for the umpteenth time.
"That must be Dad!" Katara cried simultaneously as they bolted for the door.
Hakoda hugged his daughter.
"How was your trip?" Katara asked.
"I could hardly see with all this snow. I'm pretty sure I hit a duct-taped mailbox across the street."
"The Boulder asks that his neighbors cease to cause damage on his personal property!"
"Sorry!" Hakoda called.
"The Boulder accepts his neighbor's apology, and will now return inside to play with Mr. Fluffles on this fine Christmas night."
Katara led her father into the main room to join everyone else, where she saw that Sokka was still struggling with the Christmas tree. "Sokka, I think all you need to do is-"
"Fine! If you're so smart, you rig up these lights!" Sokka stormed out, followed by an awkward silence, later broken by Kanna.
"Katara, how old are you now?"
The waterbender ignored her grandmother's question and suggested that the group start their Secret Santa gift exchange.
Mai was up first, and she revealed that she was tasked with getting Zuko a present. The Fire Lord quickly tore up a wrapped box to find to tickets to The Ember Island Players Present: A Christmas Carol. Zuko said nothing and just slowly buried his face in his palms.
"I thought you liked them!" said Mai
Next up was Ty Lee, who gave Katara a diamond necklace. This angered everyone in the room, especially Aang, for his special gift for Katara wasn't nearly as good.
"Well, there goes the 20 dollar limit," said Suki coldly.
Zuko burst out. "Are you trying to make us look bad you bit-"
"Zuko!" Mai snapped.
After that display, nobody else wanted to continue the gift exchange, so they all decided on eating dinner. It took almost no time for Katara and Suki to set up the long, dining room table.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" asked Kanna - typical Grandma question.
"No thanks, Gran-Gran."
"Okay. Katara, how old are you?"
Katara finally snapped after this question. "I'm 15! Everyone just sit down!"
Feeling bad for her outburst, Katara suggested that Kanna could say grace.
"Grace? But she passed years ago."
"Not Grace the person, grace the blessing," muttered Pakku angrily.
"Oh." Kanna cleared her throat as the rest of the table folded their hands and bowed their heads. Kanna stood up, looked straight ahead with her eyes gleaming, placed her hand over her heart, and began "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America."
Facepalms were shared around the table.
Hours later, the kitchen was clean, all the dishes were washed, Iroh was in a hospital getting his stomach pumped, and all seemed quiet. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse-lion-deer-antelope-bear-lizard. Aang was preparing to retire for the night when he passed by Katara's room and heard sniffling.
"Katara?" he asked softly upon entering. "What's wrong?"
"Everything went wrong today," she said. "The gifts went wrong, dinner went wrong, everything! Now Christmas is ruined and I have no more hope for the world! How is the human race ever to survive if-"
"Katara, you're doing it again."
For a second, Aang thought about giving Katara her gift, a hand-carved betrothal necklace, but he decided to wait. For now, he would enjoy a calm, passionate Christmas night with the girl he loved.
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