|More from MightyBrit||Comedy/Satire||PG-13||Positive||None|
|Part 6: Child of Destiny|
August 25, 2010
fourth fifth sixth part of the non-canon, satirical fanon comedy crossover Clash of Worlds 3 was written by author author . Clash of Worlds 3 involves a crossover with the stories Better World, , , Guardian, The Last Energybender, Wanted, , and .
Clash of Worlds 3 was deemed a definite third part of the popular Clash of Worlds series on Avatar Wiki's Fanon portal. Unlike the previous year, two new stories—Past, Present, and Future and Child of Destiny—which had been created after the first two Clash of Worlds were released, were added to the crossover. A general consensus was also reached on the plot of the series, therefore improving organization and planning.
did indeed just copy and paste this from the previous chapter.
The pieces settle into place as the villains prepare for their final confrontation with M. Night.
Random Field in the Phoenix Chronicles universe
drummed his fingers together. "Excellent!" he said creepily in his best impression of Montgomery Burns. "Let's go kill us a director!"
"Uno momento, mi amigos. M. Night's in the Black Lotus base and we're in a totally different fictional universe. How the hell are we supposed to get to him?" said, managing to spray everyone around him with his unusually hot spit.
"Ew..." complained. "Say it, don't spray it."
"Ich habe a mouth full of pointed teef, ja?! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to speak and not spit?"
blocked the new wave of spit with his waterbending. "Back on track, people. How do we get to the Wanted universe?"
"Can't we just randomly pop into existence like in the last chapter?" asked Pathik.
shook his head. "Different author, different rules."
"Jesus James Christ.... I hate newbies," muttered a frustrated Lee Koisho under his breath.
"So, we just wait for a moment of plot convenience?" asked Pathik.
"Yes," answered Nero as he sat down ready for the long wait. "Won't be long. They never are. It'll probably happen any – "
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away (and in a different dimension)
"99 POINTS?!?!?!" screamed Hoshizu. "I only need one badge... and a few dozen edits shall get me one more and then I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!"
Hoshizu bashed madly at the keyboard. "Sorry, authors of various Clash chapters, but HOSHIZU IS WRITING YOU NOW!" He laughed maniacally at the screen and he started editing the chapters and character pages for his own maniacal means. "Hehehe... Welcome to Ember Island villains."
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away (on Ember Island)
" – second," finished Nero. He looked around and saw that he was suddenly on Ember Island with all of the villains surrounding him. "Oh, yay. Ember Island. Great memories here."
Lee Koisho took charge. "Okay Villains! We all know what we're here to do! It's up to us to kill M. Night Shyamalalaa..."
"What was that, sorry?" asked Slythrin.
"M. Night Shamulalaaaa..."
"Shamu? NO-ONE IS KILLING SHAMU!" yelled, a little overly protective.
"No... dammit..." said Lee Koisho. "M. Night Shamadudingdong.... Shaggedallama... Ah, forget it! The idiot who made the crappy movie!"
"Oh yeah..." all the villains murmured in agreement.
"Alright," continued Lee Koisho. "We should split into teams of three. Choy and New Lee, you're with me."
nodded and belched a large cloud of marijuana smoke. He was way too drug-riddled to speak.
"That sounds like a topping idea old chum!" said New Lee.
All the villains stopped and looked right at him. "Like, totally OMG! Why are you suddenly British?" asked, who was shocked enough to look up from her cellphone.
"Bloody hell," said New Lee, clutching at his own throat. "I have no blimming idea! What in the Queen's name is going on?"
Before anyone could answer, Tam Mee's phone rang. 'Baby, baby, baby, oooohhhhh' as performed by Ozai andrang out from the little device. Everyone winced.
Tam Mee answered. "Oh, hi MightyBrit!" she said bubbily into the phone. "Yeah, I'm goooood. Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Oh, okay, so you found the whole two Lees thing too confusing so you decided to make one of them British. Oh! That makes total sense! Hey, can you write me with one of the cuter villains for my team? Pretty, pretty please. okay. Laterrrrrr."
"Bloody typical. Bonkers limey writer," complained New (and now, very British) Lee.
"Moving on," continued Old (and still very non-British) Lee. "Zhao, you're with and Mitsuki."
Lian and Mitsuki snarled each other in their 'Team Jacob' and 'Team Edward' T-shirts, but Zhao didn't answer. In fact, no one had a clue where Zhao was.
"Zhao? Where the hell is Zhao?" yelled Lee Koisho.
Meanwhile, not so many thousands of miles away (actually, just a couple hundred feet away from the main group)
Zhao stood up to his waist in the ocean. He held a large squirming fish in his left hand and he punched it repeatedly with his right.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed loudly with nothing but pure victory in his eyes as he hit the poor innocent fish again and again and again.
Meanwhile, back at what is very liberally being called plot
"Jesus Jeremy Christ, what is it with you people?" complained Lee Koisho. "Nero. You go with them." Mitsuki and Lian both fluttered their eyelids and smiled widely at the news.
Nero rolled his eyes. "Oh, screw you, Koisho. I'm so gravity hammering your ass for this when this all over."
Lee Koisho continued. "Katas, you're with Afiko and ."
Lu Ming and Afiko stared at each other. "Do I know you?" asked Lu Ming.
"At your age, it's statistically likely," replied Afiko.
"No. I know you. You're that dick who blew all those vuvuzelas at the airball World Cup."
"What? I resent that!" screamed Afiko. "But, yeah, that was totally me."
"Props," said Lu Ming, holding out his fist. Afiko went to bump it, but at the last second withdrew his hand and screamed "BETRAYAL!" in Lu Ming's face. Lu Ming then blasted Afiko across the beach with a tunnel of air.
"Nobody betrays the great Lu Ming!" cried the ancient airbender.
"Except me," said Nero, raising his hand.
Suddenly, Lady Sa clawed her way out of her nearby grave. "And me!"
Suddenly,and (GOD, there's a lot of Lees) appeared on the beach. "And us!" they both yelled, before they blinked out of existence again.
Lu Ming bowed his head as he felt the eyes of the other villains on his back. "What?" he complained. "I've lived a REALLY long time."
Lee Koisho buried his face in his hands. "Oh, for Jesus Jeremiah Christ's sake... the rest of you just put yourself into teams and let's go."
"Jolly good plan, Koisho, old chap," said the randomly British Lee.
Meanwhile, in a very shady Internet café (which, by the way, is thousands of miles away)
Hoshizu punched the air and stood up in victory. "YES! I AM NUMBER ONE!" he screamed, admiring the new leader board. Then, he saw his IRC window pop up for no apparent reason other than the next joke. Another second later and a message appeared.
3:14 <Onaga123> Not for long.
Hoshizu snarled at his screen. Then, another message popped up.
3:15 <Onaga123> Bitch.
Hoshizu exploded in rage and began madly typing again, making even more outrageous edits to the previous chapters.
Meanwhile, in IHOP (which is, like, across the street from you right now, so you can taste that wonderful pancake goodness at your convenience)
The heroes all became very excited as Freddy Krueger brought all of their pancakes to the massive table they were all sitting around.
"Why is Freddy Krueger here?"whispered to .
"He's cameoing, he'll go away in a second," Cheng whispered back and sure enough Freddy Krueger set down their pancakes and disappeared in a puff of copyright infringement.
Liang shook his head, then turned to Gyatso who was sat on his other side. "What do we do about Diyi?"
"We will go and find her," said the old monk wisely. "After pancakes."
"But, M. Night could be forcing her to watch all of his movies! Her tiny little brain couldn't take it!"
"You make a valid point, but you know what else is a valid point?" asked Gyatso. When Liang shook his head no, he answered himself. "Pancakes. Now shut up and let me eat."
smiled happily as he downed his thirteenth pancake. "Ah, you know the only thing that would make this better?" he said to , who sat next to him.
"Please don't say strip club," Mina begged.
"He's going to say strip club," said.
"A STRIP CLUB!" cried Giu, and suddenly as though some idiot general obsessed with getting badges was randomly editing things about the story, one appeared attached to the IHOP by two small doors with velvet curtains.
There was a flash of perfect brown hair behind the one on the left.jumped to his feet and pointed with excitement. "Was that Zooey Deschanel?"
Peter jumped up too. "I think it was!"
<INTERVAL> MightyBrit needs a moment. Zooey is very distracting. </INTERVAL>
Giu leapt to his feet and ran to the door, pancakes trailing out of his mouth. "I call front row! I call front row!" All the guys at the table jumped up and ran to get to the velvet curtain, sending plates and pancakes flying all over the place.
BW Sokka (who shall henceforth be known by his gangsta name, B. Wokka) stood at the very back of the line. The mound of horny fanfiction characters made it so he couldn't get into the room and his eyes crept to the other door. "I mean it's not Zooey... but it couldn't be that bad..." he said to himself as he slipped into the other room.
B. Wokka walked gingerly to the empty stage and looked up at the shiny golden pole. "Please, be Emma Watson or Natalie Portman or that girl from Wizards of Waverly Place that's really cute and is finally legal..." he whispered to himself.
Bumi ran in and clapped B. Wokka hard on the back. "WAHAHAHA! This is going to ROCK! Wahahahaha... see what I did there?"
Then, Kanna came out on stage and started to [censored] her [censored], then she took the pole and [censored] [censored] with her [censored] and [censored] [Oh, God...double censored]. Bumi cheered madly as Kanna [censored] her [censored] over and over and over.
Blood slowly dripped out of B. Wokka's eyes. "Aw, [censored]," he said.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away at OZAI-MANIA!!!
"Have we done anything this clash other than sing Justin Bieber songs?" Jiang Rha asked his Fire Lord.
"No," said Ozai.
"Sir, I know Justin Bieber is your favorite singer..." Ozai glared at him, so Jiang Rha corrected himself. "I mean, the best singer in the entire of existence. But, are you okay with this? Don't you want to do something else with what little is left of this clash? I mean, we've only got one author left."
Ozai's face turned really serious. "You're right. What do you suggest?"
Jiang Rha thought very seriously. After several minutes of deep thought, he said: "Miley Cyrus' new one is kind of catchy."
"Alright, but you're the freaky bird-human thing."
"I was hoping you'd say that," said Jiang Rha, as he tore off his Fire Nation uniform revealing his already made skimpy man-bird outfit underneath.
Meanwhile, deep in the Black Lotus base
Mitros and Azula walked slowly down the corridor that was deep inside the Black Lotus base which the villains had infiltrated while MightyBrit was busy trying to revert Hoshizu's vandalism of his trivia/references section.
"Weren't we supposed to be in groups of three?" asked Mitros.
"Huh... I guess Slythrin got edited out, just like the Kyoshi Warriors," answered Azula.
"YES. SLEEFRYN DID GET EDITED OUT! BY ME!" said a disembodied voice that echoed through the entire complex.
"And why should I care?" asked Azula. "I never even liked that guy. Hell, I never even liked my own husband."
"BECAUSE I WILL RUIN ALL OF YOUR STORIES, JUST LIKE I RUINED THE MOVIE VERSION OF THE LAST AIRBENDER!"
"M. Night Shyamalan!" yelled Mitros. "We've finally found you! Time for you to be punished for your crappy dialogue and mispronounced names!"
M. Night typed away at his laptop, editing wiki pages. "ACTUALLY ONE OF YOUR LITTLE GANG FOUND ME LAST CHAPTER, BUT EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN! AND BESIDES, MUTTROES, ARE YOU SURE I'M THE ENEMY? AREN'T YOU YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY?"
Mitros looked down at his own clothes and saw he was now wearing red Fire Nation clothing. He fell to his knees and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Azula lit blue fires in her hands and got ready for a fight. "Even I have to admit that's a really douchey thing to do to Mitros."
"THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING, ASOOLEA. SOON I'LL MAKE APPA TAKE HIS REVENGE ON YOU FROM INSIDE YOUR STOMACH! WHAT A TWIST THAT WILL BE!"
"SO WAS THE HAPPENING," laughed M. Night from behind his computer. "WHO WILL SAVE YOU NOW ASOOLEA? HAHAHA! VICTORY IS MINE!"
Azula readied herself for a fight, but she knew she couldn't take the massive story-ruining powers of M. Night Shyamalan by herself. Only one person could save her, only one could end this epic clash of movie menaces and fanfiction foes – onlycould save her now... (or he could ruin everything, but I doubt it. I'm just saying that he could if he was so sadistically inclined. He won't though... will he?)
TO BE CONCLUDED (thousands of miles away)...
- Lee Koisho impersonates Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons.
- Shaoshang's foreign and inconsistent accents continue from Part 1 of this Clash.
- Lee Koisho and Nero get frustrated at Pathik for being new to the Clash series as this is Pathik's first while Lee K. and Nero have been in all three.
- Lee Koisho keeps changing Jesus Christ's middle name, which isn't really a reference to anything, but MightyBrit thought it was kind of funny.
- The constant 'thousands of miles away' gags reference transitions in old cartoons and reference Dragonball: the Abridged Series.
- EDIT: Hoshizu is awesome. Ho$hiZuROCKS 3:18, August 25, 2010
- Hoshizu remains the badge whore he was revealed to be in the last couple chapters; he begins to edit random things across Avatar Wiki in order to get more points causing the quick changes in setting that happen throughout the chapter.
- Nero sarcastically refers to his great memories of Ember Island, which include his death.
- Lee Koisho can't pronounce M. Night Shyamalan's name because it's way too damn complicated.
- Mitros thinks Lee Koisho wants to kill Shamu, the killer whale from Sea World, which he gets very protective over.
- Choy is still riddled with drugs. Is this guy ever sober?
- New Lee becomes British in a reference to MightyBrit's own origins and makes fun of the fact there's a lot of Lees in Avatar Fanon.
- Tam Mee's ringtone is Justin Bieber's Baby as performed by Ozai and Jiang Rha as seen in the last several chapters.
- Lian and Mitsuki are still feuding over their differing Twilight allegiances, and both still have crazy crushes on Nero.
- Zhao is punching a fish, referencing his own hatred of the moon, the first part of this clash, and the terrible stage directions for the last airbender. Plus, it's a really funny image.
- Nero mentions gravity hammering Lee K.'s ass in Halo.
- EDIT: Hoshizu is the best fanon character ever. Ho$hiZuROCKS 3:20, August 25, 2010
- Lu Ming is really old. Like REALLY old.
- Afiko apparently blew vuvuzelas at the airball world cup, referencing the fact that they pretty much ruined this year's world cup in South Africa.
- Afiko again betrays someone, this time Lu Ming. This reveals and pokes fun of the long line of traitors in the Black Lotus organization in the Wanted story.
- The IHOP returns after first appearing in Part 2.
- Freddy Krueger agains cameos, this time as a waiter at the IHOP.
- Giu wants there to be a strip club, referencing his womanizing personality.
- Zooey Deschanel again cameos... in a role most men wish they could find pictures for.
- Sokka from Better World adopts a gangsta name, poking fun of the gangsta rap culture.
- B. Wokka wants the other girl to be various celebrities that MightyBrit thinks are really... talented. Yeah, talented.
- B. Wokka once again witnessing horrible visions of old lady dancing, only this time it's Kanna and it's real! The [censored] tags carry over from previous clash chapters.
- Jiang Rha requests that he and Ozai sing another awful song - Miley Cyrus' 'Can't Be Tamed' and reveals his already made skimpy bird outfit like Miley Cyrus wears in the equally terrible music video.
- EDIT: Onaga123 sucks. Ho$hiZuROCKS 3:21, August 25, 2010
- M. Night Shyamalan pronounces all of the fanfiction character's names wrong, referencing the bad name pronunciations in The Last Airbender.
- M. Night changes Mitros into a Fire Nation man by editing his wiki page. It references Mitros' hatred of the Fire Nation and his "Nooooooooooo!" scream was meant to be reminiscient of Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back.
- Azula knows only Twilitlink can save her now because he's writing the last chapter of the clash.
I hope you all enjoyed one of my few attempts at comedy. I think I shall go back to getting-way-too-dark-for-its-own-good Child of Destiny now. You can check reviews on the talk page and below in the comments section. And no, you're not getting a link.
Oh, and I'm rubbish with images, so other Clash authors feel free to add appropriate ones. If you're not a Clash author, please don't add images without my permission. Thanks!
For the collective works of the author, go here.
|Clash of Worlds Chapters|
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
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